Sometimes it is more difficult to win a woman back than to start a new relationship from the beginning. However, when you know you have an incredible, once-in-a-lifetime connection with someone, it might be worth a try. Whether it was she who ended your relationship or you, later realizing that you made a big mistake, there are steps you can take to rekindle the flame of love. If you want to win your woman back, you need to give her space, make her want you again, and avoid repeating the same mistakes. If you want to win your woman back and hold her tight this time, just follow these steps.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Stand aside
Step 1. Give your ex some space
If you want to get your woman back, the worst thing you can do is call her constantly, text her every two seconds, or even follow her everywhere. While "out of sight, out of mind" is quite true, you need to give her some room to breathe so that she can have time to reflect, appreciate her privacy, and regain the emotional strength to want you again.
- Understanding that it's important to give your ex her space is a sign of maturity. She'll appreciate that you respect her enough to know you don't have to choke her and that you're mature enough to be able to be on your own for some time.
- You don't have to cut the communication completely. You can still call her every now and then, as long as you don't make it weigh like you desperately need to hear her or have her around all the time.
- If she is contacting you, respond, but not instantly or she will think you are obsessed with her. Keep calm and be a little detached.
- You don't have to avoid it completely, but cut back on visits to your favorite hangouts or visits to mutual friends in the hope of seeing it. See this as a chance to make new friends before you get her back.
Step 2. Think about what went wrong
Every relationship is different, and so is the end of your relationship. If you want to win your woman back, then you need to understand what made her end and you need to make sure you don't walk the same path again. Were you too obsessive, too distant, or were there compatibility issues? Maybe you just didn't get along with her friends or she just couldn't understand your love of motorcycles? Whatever it was, it's time to dig deep to find the source of the problem.
- Make a list of all the things that went wrong in the relationship. Look at the biggest problem that led to the end of the story.
- You've probably discussed the problems you had before you broke up, or maybe you've already got an idea of why the relationship ended, but it could actually be something completely different.
- Once you've identified the main problem (s), make sure it's something you really have control over. For example, if the problem were different religious beliefs, or the fact that you live far away and it is impossible to move, they would be difficult problems to solve.
Step 3. Develop a strategy to solve the problem
Before you make a move and start talking to your ex again, think about how you can deal with it. Once you understand what it is, think about what you can do to fix it. If it's simple then great, but remember that some problems take a long time to overcome.
- If your lack of self-confidence was the problem, then you will need time to build it.
- If your jealousy was the problem, you need to work on yourself to trust people more and be less paranoid.
- If the problem was a quality of your ex, then you need to learn to accept it, if there isn't a way to work together to make the necessary changes.
Step 4. Work on yourself
Everyone needs to improve, and what better time than when you want to get your ex back? While you are holding yourself aside and giving her space to reflect, you should focus on becoming a more confident, understanding and mature person. This will help you make a better impression on your ex once you get her back.
- You can't fix your blemishes in a few weeks, but you can definitely try to get off to a good start.
- Make a list of the things your ex complained about, and the things you would like to correct. See how many problems you think you can solve or focus on the aspects that interest you most.
- If your ex was complaining about your mess, spend more time fixing your house.
- If your ex was complaining that you were a little groggy or always late, do something to learn to stick to your schedule and always show up on time when you have a date with friends or family.
Step 5. Appreciate your loneliness
You shouldn't spend all your time alone obsessing about getting better or wondering what your ex is going to be up to. Instead, enjoy your solitude by reading, exercising, or just following your interests and your goal of becoming a better person. If you are comfortable with yourself, your ex will know right away when you reconnect. It is important that you are sure of yourself before throwing yourself back into a relationship.
- If you are busy pursuing your interests, your ex will notice - perhaps because she sees you running in a park or reading your favorite book in a coffee shop; if he sees you doing things on your own, he'll be happy.
- Learning to be alone will also make you a more interesting person. When you reunite with your ex, you will have a lot more to talk about.
Part 2 of 3: Make She Want You Again
Step 1. Show her that you are okay
If you want to get your ex back, you will need to show up occasionally. After some time has passed - at least a couple of weeks - it's time to get back into her social circles or "bump into" her at a time when you're having a good time. If she sees you hanging around laughing and having fun with your friends instead of crying for her at home, she'll be more willing to get back with you.
- Go to places where you know you might meet her, without it being too obvious that you are there for her. When you see her, stop and have a chat to let her know that you care about her, but don't throw it all away to go talk to her. Rather, keep having fun with your friends and make them want to join you.
- Whatever you are doing, make sure you have a big smile on your face and laugh and have fun without giving the impression that you are thinking about her.
- If you know you meet her, try to be a little more attractive without going overboard and making it obvious that you are prepared for her.
Step 2. Enter the good graces of his friends
Maybe one of the reasons you broke up is that his friends thought you didn't try hard enough to get to know them or that you didn't care enough about the relationship. So, if you want to get your ex back, winning her friends will help you break through her heart. Here's how to do it:
- If you see his friends, make an effort to be especially nice without smothering them. Show them what a wonderful guy you are, and keep on your way.
- If you meet her friends, ask them how your ex is doing so they know she always thinks about her.
Step 3. Slowly approach her
After a while that you accidentally "cross" her on the street, it's time to make the first move. Start by talking to her a little more, asking her how she is, and showing a real interest in her life and thoughts. Let her know that you think her and that you really care about her without being too stuffy. Whether you meet her in the bookstore or invite her for a coffee, she gradually finds a way back into her life.
On the phone or in person, suggest they go out together again. Throw it there, as if it were a sudden idea. When you meet, don't be immediately obvious about your true feelings. Let her know how much she misses you without telling her how you feel
Step 4. Switch to hard play
If you really want to win her back, you have to play hard play once she is back in your life. You've had coffee together, you've been to the cinema and maybe you have started texting or calling each other on the phone every now and then, but that doesn't mean you have to be at his complete disposal. You need to find the right balance between letting her know you're there when she needs it and needing to call her all the time.
- If you went out in a big company, let her see you talking to other girls - just enough to make her a little jealous. Do not overdo it. You don't want to make her think you've moved on completely!
- If she's the one asking you out, don't accept a date on her first free moment. Make her believe that you have a lot of commitments and that you need to find a place for her.
- If you're out together, check your cell phone and text a couple. Make him wonder who else you are talking to.
Step 5. Show her that you have changed
Once you start spending time together again, you need to make her understand that you are a different man. Don't do the same things that used to make her angry. You could also laugh at it and point out how much you have improved. If she was always complaining about how dirty and untidy your car was, clean it thoroughly and say "Not bad, huh?" the first time you need a ride.
- Do everything you can to show her how hard you are working to improve those aspects that have caused problems in the past.
- But remember not to completely change - don't forget the things she loved about you and highlight those aspects of you when you are together.
Step 6. Find out if she still likes you
Before you tell her how you feel, you need to be sure your plan to get her back is working. You need to be able to read the signs he sends you to understand if your ex wants to go out with you only in friendship or if she also feels romance for you. To understand this, pay attention to what he does, what he says, and study his body language to make sure you are on the same page.
- Check your body language when you are together. Does she meet your gaze, look at the floor when she gets intimidated and bow to you when you talk to her? If that's the case, he probably wants to get closer to you.
- See if he compliments you on how you have changed or if he continually emphasizes your good qualities. He probably wants to start dating you again.
- See if she's dating other people, if she's interested in someone else, or if it looks like she's only dating you.
- Notice if she changes her plans to go out with you, if she thinks about a new date in the future, or if her eyes light up when you ask her when you can see her again.
Step 7. Tell her how you feel
If you think she really wants to get back with you, then it's time to let her know how you feel about her. Find the right time to talk to her, whether you've been out on a date or met casually, make eye contact and tell her how much you missed being with her and wish you were a couple again.
- Let her know that you have thought about it a lot - tell her that you are aware of what went wrong and convince her that you are determined not to make it happen again.
- Explain that you have spent a lot of time thinking and trying to become a better person. Show her that you have already made progress in getting back to being with her.
Step 8. Start dating again
If your old flame responds positively to your advances and she also wants to date you again, then you can celebrate - not too much though. Remember to take step after step, be a gentleman, and step back into your relationship little by little. Enjoy the time you spend together, swapping, kissing and cuddling, and take the time to reflect on how much you mean to each other rather than throwing yourself back into what you had before.
- Remember to take it slow. Don't date seven days a week, but start with a couple of dates a week. You definitely don't want her to feel pestered at the start of your new relationship.
- Just because you're dating again doesn't mean you should consider it safe. Compliment her, make her feel special, and let her know how lucky you are to date her again.
Part 3 of 3: Hold it tight
Step 1. Start from scratch
Don't take your time with your woman as a repeat of your previous relationship. Instead, consider it a new beginning and enjoy the time you spend together as if it were the first time. You can of course talk about the good times you shared in your previous relationship, but don't settle into the memories of the past and don't reopen old discussions. Work on building a solid - and new - foundation for your new relationship and start from there.
- If you spend all your time obsessed with the past, you won't be able to enjoy the present.
- You can start doing things you enjoy together again, but also try to find new interests, go to new restaurants and travel to different places, together.
Step 2. Don't fall into old habits
Yes, you must enjoy your relationship as something new, but always keep in mind the things that led to the breakup of your previous relationship. If you start arguing again, if you let your girlfriend down for the same reasons, or if you find yourself experiencing the same negative feelings as the first time, think and focus on overcoming these troubled situations.
Find a way out of those bad feelings. If you start feeling jealous for no reason again, remember that if you continue like this you are likely to lose your girlfriend again
Step 3. Don't think about it too much
It's important to avoid falling into old habits, but don't spend all your time obsessing over making the same mistakes again. Find a balance between enjoying your new and (hopefully) improved relationship and paying attention to things that can go wrong, whether you are in a new relationship or during a second try, otherwise you risk sabotaging your chance to be happy.
- Focus on living in the moment while learning to bounce back if you're falling back on old bad habits.
- You and your girlfriend need to work together. She too will help protect new sensations by avoiding negative processes. You shouldn't be the only one who wants the story to work.
Step 4. Always be yourself
It is important that you make the necessary changes to improve yourself and your relationship, but do not completely change who you are, so much so that you no longer recognize the person you have become. Your girlfriend must have loved a lot of things about you since the first time, so remember to keep the positive qualities that made you that wonderful guy.
- If you try to change too much, your girlfriend will notice. He should already know you well enough and will understand when you are no longer yourself.
- It's okay to check your flaws, as long as you emphasize your positive qualities at the same time.
