Parents are the ones who brought you into the world. But not all parents are sweet and kind people, or always able to understand you. It is especially difficult to deal with parents who have always been too strict or have behaved meanly towards you, even during your childhood. Your parents may not even be able to understand that they are not good parents, and may be convinced that they are doing their best to assist you as you grow up. Either way, you have to deal with them.
Steps
Step 1. Show them as much respect as you can
Taking a deep breath, counting to a hundred can sometimes be helpful. Relax, and don't blurt out, maybe you can step back a bit to calm down. Try not to be upset, even if you really are.
Step 2. Do everything you can not to oppose them
If you offend them, tell them that you are sorry and that you regret your behavior. If it doesn't work, don't give up, tell them how you feel and take their reaction to heart.
Step 3. Try to reason with them
If they don't give you permission to do some activities that you care about, like going out with friends, going to some party with school friends, etc., ask them why they disagree and explain why you think they should allow it. If they agree, explain to them how the scheduled activity will run, what you need, and what time you will return, this will most likely reassure them. Agree the time you will return together, and keep your word.
Step 4. Try to earn their respect by getting good grades in school, but helping them with housework will also make you appear trustworthy and respectful
Step 5. Your parents' behavior could be very irritating because you didn't try to look at the situation from their point of view
Boys and teens sometimes blame everyone, and from their point of view, it's easier to point out the flaws of others than to understand their own, but if you really try to put yourself in your parents' shoes and still can't understand, you don't understand. blame yourself.
Step 6. If the discussions move to a physical plane, tell someone you trust what EXACTLY happened, not just saying "I hate my parents, they are really cruel, they did _
"Instead, you could say seriously, calmly and urgently," I have serious problems with my parents, they are getting violent and I need help because I don't feel safe with them "or something like that. This trusted person will be able to work with you, and perhaps even your parents, to find an effective long-term solution.
- Don't act like you're trying to earn their love, which isn't something you have to earn, you don't have to impress them to get them to respect you. Be ready to listen and take a cue from what they say to know what to do in the future.
- If your parents don't change their minds, you can talk to another relative, such as a brother, sister, cousin, aunt, uncle, grandfather or grandmother, a friend of your parents or a trusted friend.
- In some cases, people with certain types of disabilities, especially those that are not obvious, such as autism and Asperger's Syndrome, need more surveillance than others. This does not mean that they are treating you like a child or that they are cruel to you, but it is due to the fact that these disabilities require more care and that they love you and care, as people with autism or Asperger's Syndrome may being overly confident and naïve, making them an easy target for jokes, bullying, or other types of trouble. An example that helps to understand how dangerous this naivety is is that of a person with Asperger's Syndrome who believes that everyone is his friend and does not distinguish a true friend from a hypocrite (kind in your presence, bad when you are not with him). and they are not always able to read body language. For example, they are not always able to tell if a person is telling the truth or lying. Another example of naivety is when someone asks questions of a person with Asperger's, who can't tell whether the person asking the question wants to show interest and be friendly or is hanging around with things that don't concern him.
- You need to understand that everyone has to deal with their parents, and that you are not the only child facing difficulties.
- Everyone has a difficult time from time to time. Don't let your feelings out, making your parents feel bad too. A good way to do this is to keep a journal. It will make you and your parents feel better.
Advice
- Remember that your parents most likely love you very much, and they seriously think they are doing the best for you.
- As a last resort, you may decide to move in with another relative to show that you are taking it seriously.
Warnings
- Violence is NEVER the solution.
- There is a noticeable difference between being grumpy, under stress and committing some form of abuse. If you feel you are in a situation where you could be a victim of some form of abuse, talk to a trusted friend or adult, seek help, and a place where they can stay safe. Seek a consultant, if possible, don't ignore the situation: following these instructions is for your own good.
- Be careful to stay calm, to avoid those consequences that could or could have been avoided.
