Many parents argue, this is perfectly normal! In fact, you don't have to worry: if they don't argue from time to time, the disagreements could build up to lead to a big fight. Read the following steps to find out how to cheer yourself up in these moments.
Steps
Step 1. Always remember that it is not your fault at all
If you think your parents are arguing over your actions, try to apologize at a time that you think is appropriate (best not to do so while they are arguing).
Step 2. Never try to solve your parents' problems or get involved, this could only make the situation worse
Step 3. Talk to your parents to explain how you feel
If you are not comfortable doing this, contact a trusted adult, such as a professor, psychotherapist, or psychologist. If you need to let off steam, you definitely need to.
Step 4. Stay away from your parents while they are arguing
Go to your room and listen to some music, watch a movie, play games or do whatever makes you relax like taking a hot bath. Better yet, try cleaning your room, doing your homework, or playing an instrument. This will show them that you are responsible, so they will have less reason to turn their anger towards you. Always keep calm.
Step 5. If you worry a lot or have been particularly intense for hours, get out of the house
Go to a friend who lives nearby, cycle to the park, take the dog out, or go to the library. If you can't leave, get in touch with a close friend, ask for advice, or let off steam.
Advice
- When your parent says something to you and the other parent raises this topic later, don't tell him what you were told earlier. This usually results in an argument in which you risk getting involved. Even if you want to intervene to get them to stop, hold back.
- Think about which friends you might want to talk to. Do you have friends with divorced or often arguing parents? They are generally the best to ask for advice in these situations.
- Try to keep an open mind. If your mom makes a nasty comment about your dad (or vice versa), you should understand that what they say is dictated by anger.
- If you want to leave the house, be sure to notify your parents. This is generally not the best time to ask for money or a ride.
- If your parent asks you if you think they are right and the other is wrong, don't agree with them and don't express opinions. Just tell him that you don't feel like making negative comments about your family and he will understand you. He will likely never reach out to you for such questions again.
- Remember that your parents will always love you no matter what.
- If your parents start physically hurting themselves, it is extremely important to tell a trusted adult or the police, as this is a very serious situation.
- If they try to get you into an argument, refuse (at this point, you can explain how you feel about their arguments).
Warnings
- Try not to interfere or involve other family members, as this usually only makes the situation worse, with the risk of the fight becoming more serious.
- If your parents are physically hurting themselves, call someone you really trust and ask them to help you and / or separate them for a while - a couple of days should be enough. Your parents should never hurt themselves, you or anyone else.
