When a sensitive topic becomes of great importance, it is normal to turn to your mother, however in some cases it can be embarrassing to confide in her. This is normal and there are many ways to make the conversation easier. Prepare in advance by deciding when and how to talk to her. You must expect to feel some agitation, but try to be direct and polite during the dialogue. Try to end on a positive note, ask your mom for advice, and thank her for her time.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Deciding When to Talk to her
Step 1. Think about the best time to talk to her
If you want to address a potentially unpleasant subject, it is important to find the right place and the right time. Arguing with your mother when she is busy or stressed will only make the situation even more tense.
- Choose a time when you have plenty of time. If you have to talk to your mother about a private or embarrassing matter, make sure you can't get interrupted.
- You should also choose a time when you are both relaxed. Don't tell her about something embarrassing when you're already in a bad mood. If both of you are not busy on Saturday, it may be the best day for conversation, because you will be happy.
Step 2. Prepare for embarrassment
If you have to talk about a personal topic with one of your parents, it probably won't be easy - it's completely normal. You will be less afraid to face the situation if you prepare yourself for embarrassment.
- Don't try to convince yourself not to feel embarrassed. You would end up focusing even more on that feeling.
- On the contrary, accept that you will feel embarrassed, but remember the reasons why you decided to talk to your mother. For example, you may want advice on sex or relationships. While it is difficult to tackle the subject, she can give you valuable suggestions, because she is older and more experienced than you.
Step 3. Evaluate what you want to achieve from the conversation
You shouldn't talk to your mom without knowing what your goal is. If you've decided to tell her something personal, you probably have a good reason. Ask yourself why you want his opinion: this will help you conduct the dialogue better.
- You may just need to be heard. If you're facing an embarrassing personal problem, you probably just want to let off steam. If so, let your mother know that you don't need advice or guidance.
- On the contrary, you may want advice. Think about whether your mother's opinion will help you. If you want his opinion, you can ask it directly. For example, say, "Mom, I need to ask you for advice."
Part 2 of 3: Communicate Effectively
Step 1. Start the conversation
The idea of talking to your mom can make you nervous, but a simple sentence is enough to open the dialogue. Take a couple of deep breaths and get close to her to start talking to her.
- Try a simple sentence, like, "Mom, do you have a minute? I want to talk to you about something."
- If you are afraid that your mother will get angry, try to warn her in advance. For example: "Mom, something has happened that might make you angry. I have to tell you about it anyway, even if you will eventually blame me."
Step 2. Be direct
There is no reason to go around the problem. If you need to talk about something important, communicate it right away without hesitating. With a direct attitude you will start the conversation openly and sincerely.
- Provide your mother with all the information she needs to understand the situation. Don't make references to topics you don't know.
- For example, start with a clear statement, like, "Mom, I've been seeing Paolo for some time now and he pushes us to have sex for the first time. I'm not sure I'm ready, but he keeps insisting. I don't know what to do. ".
Step 3. Listen to your mother's perspective
Even if you don't want advice, it's a parent's job to guide their children. Even if you disagree with her, try to let her express her opinion, without interrupting her.
- Try to understand your mother's point of view. If it makes you feel frustrated, stop and think and put yourself in their shoes. Consider the reasons why he has a certain opinion on the subject in question.
- For example, if you are telling your mother that a friend of yours is experimenting with drugs, she may have a very negative reaction. Even if you have the impression that she is prejudiced, one of her friends may have developed a severe drug addiction in high school and this could cause her to react so badly.
Step 4. Handle the conversation politely and respectfully
If you are sharing something personal, your mother may react differently than you wish. She may get angry, worried, or upset. Despite her reaction, she tries to stay calm. Don't turn the dialogue into a fight, as it won't help you solve your problems.
- Remember basic education. Don't interrupt your mother and don't raise your voice.
- Always show your mother that you understand what she said to you, even if you disagree. For example: "I understand that you think that Marco exerts a bad influence on me, but I care a lot about his friendship".
Part 3 of 3: Close with a Positive Note
Step 1. Don't argue
Never allow the conversation to turn into an argument. Even if your mother reacts negatively, avoid arguing with her. Maintain a calm and respectful tone throughout the conversation, even when it seems to you that she is being unfair.
- If you find yourself losing your temper, you can stop the discussion. Try saying, "It seems to me that we are not coming to a solution. Can we pause and resume the discussion later?"
- Then you can do something to let off some steam, like a walk or a chat with a friend.
Step 2. Deal with a negative reaction
Your mother may answer differently than you hoped. He may get angry or even punish you and impose new rules of conduct. If there is a negative reaction, try to deal with it in the right spirit.
- If your mother scolds you or talks to you in a way that doesn't help, let her know. You can tell her, "I don't need advice, I just wanted to talk to you."
- If your mom has a rule of thumb for you (for example, "I don't want you to hang out with Laura anymore"), accept it for now. You will be able to talk to her again when she has calmed down. If you object to her decision, you could lead her to tighten the rule even more.
Step 3. If you want advice, ask for it
In some cases you may want your mother's opinion and maybe that's why you decided to talk to her. If you are interested in their opinion, ask them after discussing the topic. You can say, "I really need your advice, because I don't know what to do."
Remember, just because someone gives you advice doesn't mean you have to follow it. However, it can be helpful to listen to and consider your mother's point of view
Step 4. If your mother doesn't listen to you, talk to someone else
Some topics may be too thorny to discuss with mom. If he reacts very negatively and closes the subject, ask another adult for advice.
