Having your period for the first time can be a shocking experience and the prospect of having to tell your mom even more! Remember, however, that menstruation is an absolutely natural fact, which is part of every woman's daily life: your mother has been through it too, and so has your grandmother. Even if you feel nervous about telling your mother, there is no reason to be afraid or ashamed. Most likely, when you grow up and remember these moments, you will wonder what reason there was to get so excited!
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Accepting the fact of having the cycle
Step 1. Find out what it means to have your period
The menstrual cycle is a monthly process your body goes through to prepare for pregnancy. At the beginning of your period, your body produces more estrogen which causes thickening of the uterine walls due to the concentration of blood and mucus. At the same time, an egg (or egg cell) is pushed out of your ovaries (the process is called ovulation). If the egg is fertilized by a sperm, it attaches itself to the thickened uterine wall. If it is not fertilized, it flakes off and is expelled from your body. The excess uterine lining also flakes off - menstruation is nothing more than the result of this process.
- Usually the first menstruation comes between the ages of 12 and 14, but it can happen that they arrive earlier, even at the age of 8.
- Even if the cycle is a monthly event, especially at the beginning it is quite normal that the frequency is not completely regular. Don't worry if it doesn't arrive on the exact same day every month. Usually, your period comes after an interval of 21 to 35 days and lasts 3-5 days.
Step 2. Get the necessary sanitary items
Each girl has her own preferences when it comes to feminine hygiene products. The best way to find out which pads are best for you is to try several! You can buy them at the drugstore, supermarket and online, but if you know where your mother or sister keeps them, you can always borrow theirs, at least until you have talked to your mother. They are usually kept in the bathroom under the sink, in a shelf or cabinet near the sink or toilet, or in the linen closet near the bathroom. In reality, the market offers a fairly wide range of products, some reusable and some not.
- The pads are thrown away after use and protect the underwear by absorbing the menstrual flow expelled from the body.
- The washable pads are similar to the previous ones, with the difference that they are reusable.
- Tampons (tampons) are thrown away after use and inserted into the vagina to absorb the flow before it is expelled.
- Menstrual cups are silicone cups that are inserted like tampons, but can be washed and reused for the duration of the cycle. Because tampons and menstrual cups hold back the menstrual flow before it goes out, they are ideal for swimming and sports in general.
Step 3. Relieves the cramps and symptoms of PMS (premenstrual syndrome)
"PMS" is a symptom complex that some women experience during the days or weeks leading up to their period. Although the precise cause is not yet known, PMS appears to be caused by hormonal changes that occur during the menstrual cycle and probably also depends on diet and vitamin intake. The case history is varied, but the following symptoms are found above all: depression or disproportionate emotional reactions, hunger pangs, fatigue, swelling, pain, headache, breast tenderness. Another common symptom is abdominal cramps, caused by uterine contractions.
- Anti-inflammatories and analgesics such as paracetamol (eg Tachipirina), aspirin, ibuprofen (eg Moment, Nurofen) and naproxen (eg Momendol) help relieve cramps and pains.
- Avoid smoking (among other things, up to the age of 18 in Italy both the purchase of cigarettes and smoking in public places are prohibited), alcohol (also in this case the law prohibits the sale of alcoholic beverages to minors of 18 years), coffee and excessive consumption of salt, which promotes water retention and swelling.
- If you exercise regularly, the cramps will be less painful and your mood will also gain!
- Adopt a healthy, balanced diet.
- Keep healthy snacks on hand to control hunger pangs and avoid giving in to uncontrolled cravings for unhealthy foods. If you can't control hunger pangs, at least go for healthy snacks. If you're craving salty, try making yourself a rice dish with a splash of soy sauce instead of gulping down high-sodium junk food. If you're craving sweets, make yourself a cup of hot chocolate instead of gorging yourself on snacks. If you're in the mood for fried food, make some baked potato chips.
Step 4. Prepare for the talk with your mother
When your period comes, it's important to stay calm and not panic! It is perfectly normal and it is not a drama; it isn't even telling your mother. Give yourself plenty of time to metabolize the change your body is going through. Don't worry if you don't feel ready to tell your mother for now - it's your body and you have the right to make your own choices about it.
- Before you start talking to your mother about it, try to relax. Do the things that relax you the most: a bath, a walk, read a book, take a nap, practice deep breathing… In short, any activity that helps you relax is fine.
- Think about what you want to tell her. Write down a couple of sentences or questions and review the speech you intend to give.
- If you are unsure and still don't feel like telling your mother, you can ask a school nurse, doctor, teacher, or some other adult you trust. Sometimes it pays to talk to someone else first, so when the time comes to tell your mother, it will seem easier.
Part 2 of 3: Talk to Your Mother Openly
Step 1. Tell your mother that you want to talk to her alone
Find a quiet time when the two of you can have a chat without anyone bothering you. Don't freak out! Try not to think about it too much: go for it! Remember that she is your mom: there is no one in the world who loves you more than she does. In addition, he is able to perfectly understand what you are going through. Approach the topic as you feel most comfortable: present the speech you have prepared in advance, or begin by saying that you feel a little uncomfortable, but you need to talk to her. If you just can't find the right words, try one of these sentences:
- "You know, I think I got my period."
- “Shall we go to the pharmacy? I have to buy some sanitary pads”.
- "Mom, I feel a little uncomfortable telling you, but I have menstruated."
- "I don't know how to tell you, but 'I got it' …".
Step 2. Raise the subject casually once you are alone
Any time you are alone is a good time to deal with the conversation, especially if only the idea of a formal interview with her makes you nervous. The right time may be while he is accompanying you to school, to volleyball practice, to piano lessons, during a walk or before saying goodnight: the important thing is that you are together and that you are not in a hurry. Casually mention that your period has arrived.
- Alternatively, if you feel uncomfortable saying this, get around it by asking her how old she was when she started her period!
- Or start the conversation by talking about something that has nothing to do with it, if you prefer. This will give you time to relax while chatting, so you can only switch to the period topic when you feel comfortable enough.
Step 3. While shopping, intentionally make a stop at the health department
Going out shopping together can be a good opportunity to tell them without having to bring up the topic on purpose. Guide her to the health department while you are in the pharmacy or supermarket and tell her you need to buy some products. This is the perfect time to ask her for advice and she will understand that you are trying to tell her that you have had your period.
Step 4. Ask her questions
The cycle means that your body is going through a whole series of changes. Ask your mother any questions that come to your mind. This is a pivotal time in your relationship and she will likely have a lot of things she wants to discuss with you.
- If you feel comfortable, also take the opportunity to ask her health-related questions about sex.
- Ask her what her favorite brand of tampon is, if she suffers from hunger pangs during her period, and how she copes with cramps and PMS.
Part 3 of 3: Let them know without talking to them in person
Step 1. Write your mother a note
The prospect of talking about it openly can scare you: if you don't feel like it, you can always let them know with a note. So, she will be the one to tell you about it next time you are alone! Leave the note in a place where she will surely find it (but only her!), For example in her purse. The card can be long and elaborate, or short and tender, such as:
- “Dear mom, my period has arrived today! Can we go together to buy sanitary pads at the pharmacy afterwards? I love you".
- “My period has arrived: can you please take home a pack of sanitary pads or tampons? Thanks!".
Step 2. Tell them over the phone
If you still prefer to talk to him orally, but don't feel like dealing with it directly, you can use the phone filter! Use the same technique and tactics you would use in a face-to-face interview, or say something like this:
- "I'll be home in an hour and I need to talk to you for a while, because I have menstruated."
- "I'll be home a little later because I have to go to the pharmacy to buy sanitary pads."
- “Shall we eat a chocolate cake for dessert? I have an attack of craving for sweets, because I have had my period!”.
Step 3. Send her a text
Another way to let your mom know what's happening to you is to text her. Sure, it's a bit cold and impersonal, but it works! You can write her a kind of little letter, using phrases like these:
- “I just wanted to let you know that I have had my period. See you soon at home! ".
- “Can we have a chat when you get home? I have menstruated”.
- “Do you go shopping afterwards? I have my period and I need sanitary pads”.
Advice
- Record the date of your period, so you can know in advance what time of the month the next ones should arrive. You also need to record the date to monitor any missed cycles and for medical reasons in general.
- You don't have to throw away stained undergarments. Just worry about rinsing them off as soon as possible and putting them to wash right away.
- Keep an emergency kit that contains feminine hygiene products in the locker.
