Have you ever been involved in an argument and that in order to save your reputation (among friends, family or colleagues) it was necessary to respond sharply to the person who insulted you or left you with the palm of your nose? But you don't have to go that far either. Have you ever wanted to respond wittily on the spot even in a less risky situation? Knowing how to replicate sharply requires a bit of innate talent, but it is also possible to improve with practice and preparation. Also, to avoid crossing the fine line between wit and wickedness, one must learn to cultivate a certain self-esteem and concern for others.
Steps
Method 1 of 3: Cultivating Your Skills
Step 1. Practice the art of the ready-made joke
Not everyone can think about it on the spot, so as a last resort, the art of the ready-made joke can be cultivated by memorizing a few generic replicas. If you are not cut out, do not try to respond quickly in kind: you risk making yourself ridiculous and demoralized, so the game is not worth the candle.
Memorization and exercise can help you make the most of your skills and communicate satisfactorily. Nonetheless, just as happens in other areas, true experts have an innate gift that they can then integrate with a certain behavior and preparation
Step 2. Cultivate good listening skills
There are no magic formulas to have the answer ready, but it can be very useful to learn to listen better. Look at your interlocutor, concentrate on his words and the meaning he attaches to them. The best jokes are those elaborated to respond directly to what has been said, it is not possible to take them from a prepackaged list of sharp replicas that could fit very remotely into the context.
To practice, focus on what is being said rather than digress to try to come up with an answer. Try practicing activities like "verbal volleyball". Together with another person, try to make up a story by adding one word at a time. Your partner says a word, you listen carefully, think of the next term as soon as possible and so on
Step 3. Relive the past
Try rewriting a conversation that you would have liked to have witty replies to. Replace the dialogue with another "script" and keep working to become sharper in the future.
Just remember that the best answers are those created on the spot, not pulled from similar circumstances that have already happened. This exercise is effective for inspiration and training, it cannot be a source of specific answers
Step 4. Quickly deflect insults that are directed at you
If you think about the offense, you will end up brooding, and it will affect you on a personal level. Instead, avoid focusing on the insult, make an effort to respond immediately.
- The secret to cutting answers lies in speed. Do not analyze the implications of what you have been told: imagine that it is a game and that the insult is a ball to jump.
- For example, if someone tells you that you smell bad, don't mull over your personal hygiene while formulating a response. Stick exclusively to his words and respond with a phrase like this: "Yes, I stink, but you hang the air with your mere presence".
Step 5. Prepare to tear apart your interlocutor's words
Throw yourself into the fray and enjoy the confrontation, rather than being afraid or downplaying it. Think of it as an invitation to play rather than a reason to feel insulted. If you really can't see things from this point of view, perhaps it is better to avoid this approach directly and choose another one.
- Take the opportunity to point out all the contradictions that your interlocutor expresses while trying to flaunt his wits. This usually diminishes an insult in the eyes of the person who did it.
- However, don't take too long to tear apart what he tells you. If you give a long-winded response, your interlocutor may interrupt you by saying more, making your words irrelevant.
Step 6. If you are successful, use sarcasm
If used wisely and without overdoing it, sarcasm can give excellent results. When someone tries to insult you by making nonsensical comments, feel free to sarcastically say, "Well, that's a smart answer." In this case, conciseness is also useful: a sarcastic but rambling monologue will not have the same effect.
- Remember that sarcasm also requires timing and an appropriate tone of voice. Think Severus Snape from the Harry Potter series or Oscar Wilde, both masters of concise but effective sarcasm.
- Biting irony should be used with a hint of playfulness, not for stabbing. Consider your interlocutor to see if they can take sarcasm for what they are without taking it too personally.
Step 7. Don't be stubborn
The more interesting edgy reruns tend to be quite short and concise, they don't drag on long. In most cases, the witty answer should be enough to put an end to the discussion right away. Continuing to talk about it, argue or add meat to the fire would end up weakening the impact of one's words.
- It is up to you to decide whether to change the subject, leave to resume the conversation at a later time or pretend that your interlocutor is no longer present. The key is to be in an advantageous position when closing the trade.
- Don't leave as soon as you are insulted, or you will give the impression that you don't know how to deal with it. However, if necessary, you can assert yourself by saying, “I'm not going to keep hearing these insults. I'll be back when you have calmed down”. Your opponent will then have an obligation to behave in a more appropriate way, and you can walk away with class.
Step 8. The important thing is to always stay calm
Don't get angry, don't even feel a little annoyed. Remember that the insults that are directed at you are not worthy of your time or your anger. Distance yourself from the distaste your opponent seems to have towards you, examine what you have been told calmly and objectively. Concentrate on responding wisely and remain resolutely calm.
- Imagine playing football and having to score a goal for the opposing team. Do not focus on the bad predisposition of the person in front of you, concentrate in all tranquility on the ball and on the goal you will score.
- Practice in front of the mirror to learn how to show calm (perhaps even amusement or disorientation). As much as anger blinds you internally, it tries to convey calm outside: make it present to yourself and the mind will act accordingly.
Step 9. Don't try to give sharp answers if you're not ready to
As you learn to get smarter, try to be tactful and diplomatic. If you fail to answer sharply, at least others will not understand your intentions and will think you are just being polite!
Method 2 of 3: Finding Inspiration
Step 1. Learn from the masters
The most interesting cutting-edge replicas are the original ones, it doesn't rain on this, but it is possible to take a cue by studying some of the most famous jokes and comments in history. Take the time to learn a number of sarcastic remarks that have proven effective. As you get better at it, it will be easier and easier to come up with witty phrases on the spot.
- Consider the masters of the ready-made joke, such as Dorothy Parker, Winston Churchill, Mark Twain, Mae West, George Bernard Shaw, Groucho Marx, Oscar Wilde, Margaret Thatcher, and so on.
- Read the exchanges between characters like Ernest Hemingway and William Faulkner or George Bernard Shaw and Winston Churchill. Those between Ian and Leila from Star Wars are fine too!
- A practical example from one of the most authoritative sources, Groucho Marx: “I had a truly wonderful evening… but it is not this one”.
Step 2. Look for ready-made jokes online
Web users have countless jokes at their disposal. In fact, there are sites entirely dedicated to this topic, with examples after examples (some good, some not so much). Make a list of your favorite phrases and memorize them - at least they will come in handy when you have no other ideas! Here are some of them:
- "Thank you for agreeing with me".
- "Light travels faster than sound, that's why you seemed bright to me before I started talking."
- Lean on something, close your eyes for a few seconds, then suddenly reopen them saying, “Uh, sorry! Were you saying something important? I must have dozed off”.
- "You and I have a lot in common, don't we?" Use this phrase when you receive an insult about weight, physical appearance, intelligence, and so on.
- "Excuse me? I'm sorry, I didn't understand. Could you repeat?" (an insult that is repeated twice loses its effectiveness).
- "Look Who's Talking!". This may seem like a trivial phrase right now, but it can still be used from time to time when you're running out of ideas.
- If a person keeps repeating the same insult, use this phrase: “But you look like a broken record! Change song ". Smile and walk away.
Step 3. As you study these examples, keep the context in mind
A hit that hits the mark in one situation may miss its mark in another. Read and make your own those replies that have greater potential for the purpose of insulting or hurting someone, but don't think it's okay to use them with any person in any situation.
- For example, saying “Next time you open your mouth, at least use words that exist in the vocabulary” can be quite harmless in many situations, but it could hurt some people. A witty joke should be sharp, but it shouldn't leave deep marks.
- Another example: “I am an apathetic sociopath. I'd kill you if I cared”. It might work with someone who knows you well, but you could also risk getting yourself into trouble. Jokes that even make a vague reference to violence are not taken lightly by many.
Step 4. Let your interlocutor's words and actions speak for themselves
Sometimes it's not even necessary to give sharp reruns. If someone says something ridiculous, offensive, reckless, or baseless to you, let them talk and make a contemptuous gesture to express dislike or rejection. Others will likely understand that this person is unable to control their temper, teases or whines, and does not need a witty response.
- Practice raising an eyebrow, smirking, rolling your eyes, and using other gestures to show your disinterest.
- He yawns and looks at the time.
- Actually, this suggestion is a bit childish, but it can be useful to you: repeat exactly what has been said, but in a teasing tone of voice. To avoid looking like a kindergarten kid, try practicing with a friend who is willing to help you.
Method 3 of 3: Use Wisely
Step 1. Respond in a composed, calm and confident manner
The content of the answer is important, but so is the way you give it. Avoid conveying superiority through your tone of voice. Also avoid sounding hurt or offended, as if your response was dictated by anger.
Express yourself clearly, concisely and confidently. Smile slightly with your voice and eyes. For the joke to be successful, you need to put everything on the funniest and most humorous side of what happened
Step 2. Avoid swearing (or at least minimize it)
Swear words usually have nothing to do with wit, instead they express the most visceral emotions. Relieving tension might make you feel better, but in practice it would make you look immature. Furthermore, it will not help you achieve your goal, which is to tear apart the reasoning or phrases of your interlocutor.
On the other hand, if your opponent is swearing, you can take advantage of it for your purpose, for example by making a sharp comment or saying in a flat tone of voice: “Oh, now you also swear? How mature…”, without adding anything else
Step 3. Avoid using abusive language
Insults are closely related to profanity and make you look envious, dead end, or overly irrational. Insults also allow you to vent your anger, but this reaction immediately benefits your opponent and does not shine with wit.
If you really have to resort to insults, focus on the opponent's reasoning rather than on his person. For example, you can say, "This seems like a very strange way of looking at things," but don't say, "You're an idiot." You can also try "Well, now I am absolutely convinced of your ignorance on the subject" instead of "You are truly ignorant"
Step 4. Avoid being snobbish
A sharp response aimed at asserting your superiority or status is usually counterproductive, as it will divert attention away from the focus of the discussion and your interlocutor will mainly focus on whether you think you are better than him. Once you get into this kind of discussion, the situation tends to lose control more and more.
- Answering along the lines of "Yes, I had the same problem in school … Well, not really in school, in kindergarten, actually" can convey an air of superiority depending on the context and the way you say it.
- Between wit and superiority there is a very fleeting limit, the secret is to have a sense of humor and understand that, after all, the situation is futile.
Step 5. Be sensitive to people who take things seriously
Of course, they shouldn't always play victims and act as if the world falls even when they are just touched, but you need to understand how to behave depending on the case. In some situations it is unfair, indelicate and insensitive to provoke a person who does not know how to retort with sharp replies.
- Maybe your goal is to teach a lesson, but at least consider the consequences that can occur when you demolish an opponent who will likely react by pouting, demoralizing, or getting angry.
- On the other hand, if he's misbehaving, maybe that's the lesson he needs, despite his weakness.
Step 6. Don't hold a grudge
Remember that rejecting a person's words is discrediting them. Don't do this too often, because denigrating someone has a direct and alienating effect - make sure it's actually needed. What's done is done. If you are hoping to open a dialogue with a person you have demoralized, you must be the first to offer a sign of peace and make it clear that you do not hold a grudge.
Try saying, “I really liked how you played the other day, but I didn't like how you behaved after the game. I felt like I had no choice but to put you back in your place. I hope you will forgive my direct approach”
Step 7. Respect yourself and your interlocutor
It's not just physical violence that hurts: even words can hurt. So make sure they always consider the opponent's dignity. Similarly, don't let his words hurt you - if you choose to get hurt, you will have a hard time getting over stinging jokes.
Don't let his words take on more power than they need to have, plus go your own way knowing that you have kept your dignity intact, spoken with integrity and intelligence, respected yourself and the other person
Advice
- Don't give the impression that you think too much about cutting jokes, or it will work in your opponent's favor, especially if he always seems to have his joke ready.
- If you've insulted someone to the point where they are speechless, or take too long to think of an answer, just smirk, say “Just like I thought” or something like that and walk away.
- If it doesn't come naturally to respond sharply, learn to smile and pretend that you don't care about what you've been told. It is another way to distance yourself from the problem and immediately feel better.
- When looking for shrewd jokes online, use search terms like "quick joke", "sharp answers", "witty answers", "wit", "joking insults" and so on. Some sites have both diplomatic and grumpy responses.
- If your interlocutor is constantly complaining, look at him and say in a dry way: "You will survive".
- Playing the role of a detached and disinterested person is essential for many jokes to be successful. Show your coolness by smiling, making contemptuous gestures, keeping a calm tone of voice, and always thinking about walking away rather than engaging your opponent. It may help to think, "Try to look bored and at the same time detached!"
- If someone tells you to shut up or leave them alone, that means you have won. He smirks and says, “I knew you would give up sooner or later” or “Can't take it anymore? Ok, I'll leave you alone”.
- If other people are involved in the exchange, remind your opponent that the discussion has nothing to do with others.
- The opponent's power lies in your reaction. It feeds on this. If you say “Yeah, right, I really care”, “I don't care what you're trying to prove” or “Yes, oh well” in a sarcastic way, you will not react and you will respond sharply. Plus, it will leave you alone for a while.
- Don't repeat lines - use the best ones only once, then look for new ones.
Warnings
- Never use childish insults like "You didn't do anything to me, snake face" or "At least I have a life". They would just prove that you are unoriginal and that you are scraping the bottom of the barrel to find a good (unsuccessful) joke. The last insult also presupposes superiority, and at this point you know well that one must avoid having such an attitude.
- Don't insult by putting mothers, fathers, brothers or great-aunts in the way, unless you are responding to an offense along the same lines or are willing to take insults about your family.
- Saying "Leave me alone" means asking to be left alone, and it is not an ingenious reply. If you use it, you run the risk of being challenged again. Better to remain silent than to utter this sad and desperate sentence.
- Overdoing the witty reruns makes you look silly and parrot-like. Remember to always be short and concise, without being too long.
- If you're not careful, remember that insulting someone can lead to defamation. In particular, be wary of places where words are recorded, such as chats, blog comments, and emails.
