Various circumstances can make your life seem like a real disaster. It can be the loss of a loved one, a layoff, long-term unemployment, a chronic illness, a romantic breakup, and so on. It is normal to feel grounded for these reasons. However, it is important to understand that it is possible to get up progressively thanks to positive thinking, or to learn to take problems with a more optimistic and productive attitude. In addition, there are various strategies that can help you regain happiness and adopt a positive outlook again.
Steps
Method 1 of 3: Identify a Possible Cause
Step 1. Consider possible reasons why you think your life is a disaster
Various reasons can lead you to believe that your existence is falling apart. If stress doesn't give you a break, you may feel anxious or depressed. You may also experience psychosomatic symptoms, such as headaches or insomnia. Here are some common sources of stress:
- Major changes. If you are going through a period of radical change, such as the end (or beginning) of a relationship, a new job, a move, and so on, you probably have stress problems.
- Family. If your family life is chaotic, you may feel agitated, sad, or anxious.
- Work / school. Obligations at work or school are a huge source of stress for everyone, or almost everyone. If you feel underappreciated in the classroom or office, or have a job with no prospects, you may think your life is horrible.
- Social life. If you feel isolated, you may think your life is a disaster. You may also feel stressed and anxious in situations that involve meeting new people or are otherwise social in nature.
Step 2. Keep a journal
To try to understand why you feel this way, it can be helpful to identify the times when these emotions occur. Keeping a journal will also allow you to identify the things you can control in these moments, which can help you keep your optimism. In general, you should remember that you cannot control anything other than your actions and reactions.
- For example, you have noticed that the moments when you feel most agitated and sad are those spent at work. Maybe you don't feel recognized and appreciated. Maybe you feel overloaded and this situation is unbearable.
- Ask yourself what you can control. You cannot control what others think of your contributions. However, you may be able to become more assertive and be proud of your accomplishments. You can decide whether to accept all the projects that end up on your desk. You can also decide if you should look for another job, in a place that might suit you better. Try to assert yourself and all of a sudden your life may start to feel less difficult.
- Try to make a list of actions you can try to take control of the situation. For example, if you feel overloaded at work, you may want to contact your boss to decrease the load or negotiate a raise. If you don't feel appreciated, you may want to seek employment in a company that has a better environment. Make a list of concrete and specific actions to implement.
Step 3. Ask yourself the following questions to better analyze yourself
Are you suffering from a serious illness? Do you abuse drugs and / or alcohol? Have you recently faced any particularly important experiences or the death of a loved one? Do you have personal conflicts? Have you been a victim of abuse or trauma? Are you taking prescription medicines?
If you answered yes to at least one of these questions, it can help you better understand why you think your life is a disaster
Step 4. Consider the possible biological causes
Many are unable to understand why they think they have a horrible life. According to research, genetics affect depression. If a family member suffers from it, it is possible that it affects you too. Depression can also be caused by certain medical conditions, such as hypothyroidism or chronic pain.
- Women are twice as likely as men to suffer from depression.
- Hormonal changes can also cause depression.
- Brain changes can cause depression. Studies have revealed that a depressed person's brain undergoes a real physical change.
Method 2 of 3: Combat Negativity and Encourage Positivity
Step 1. Try to identify times when you have negative thoughts
It is important to identify negative thoughts in order to start transforming negativity into positivity. Those who think negative always tend to expect the worst. Plus, he immediately blames himself for everything that goes wrong. He has a tendency to overstate the negative aspects of any situation and consider it in extreme terms, seeing everything black or white.
Step 2. Turn negative thoughts into positive ones
Over the course of the day, try to examine your thoughts regularly. Identify the things you usually think of in negative terms and transform them into a positive way. Surrounding yourself with optimistic people will also help, as pessimistic ones can exacerbate stress and negativity. Here are some examples to understand how to transform negative thoughts:
- "I'm afraid, I've never done this before" = "I have a great opportunity to do something different".
- "I'll never get better" = "I'll try one more time".
- "It's too big a change" = "Let's try something new and exciting!".
Step 3. Try not to define yourself by your surroundings
Maybe you think the current situation has the power to define your identity. If you are in a difficult environment, it can be difficult to think positive. So focus on your innate qualities rather than circumstances. Remember that they are temporary.
- For example, if you are worried about not having a job, remember that your professional status does not define you as a person. See it as an opportunity to embark on a new path or look for a meaningful activity elsewhere, such as volunteering or focusing on your family.
- If you think your life is a disaster because you are being bullied, remember that bullies dump their insecurities on others. Their actions affect only their reputation, not yours. Tell the proper authorities, such as your parents, a counselor, or principal, and hang on.
Step 4. Get out and start socializing again
Often those who think that their life is a disaster isolates themselves from others. Paradoxically, this can aggravate depression. Take small steps to reconnect with people.
- At first, try seeing a friend or relative for coffee.
- Call friends and family more often.
- In the early days, don't expect to have fun or be the life of the party. The secret is to take one step at a time to start having a social life again.
- Throughout the day, be friendly to strangers. Don't refuse to have a chat. Talking to people you don't know can cheer you up.
- Join an association or sign up for a course to meet new people.
Step 5. Try to think clearly
If you believe your life is a disaster, you are probably not thinking rationally and not reacting sensibly to various situations. Instead of letting your thoughts run wild, come back to reality by asking yourself the following questions:
- "How can I understand if this thought is valid or not?".
- "Has it always been like this?"
- "Are there any exceptions?".
- "What am I missing?".
Step 6. Exercise regularly and eat a healthy diet
Exercising three times a week has been shown to relieve mild to moderate depression. It will help you feel better about yourself, sleep soundly and also improve your mood. Healthy eating is equally effective in fighting depression. Limit alcohol consumption to one drink a day, eat varied and healthy. You should also avoid drugs, smoking, and other health-damaging vices.
- Cardiovascular exercises are particularly effective. Try working out for 30 minutes on a treadmill or go for a half hour walk.
- Yoga can also make you feel better.
- Try eating fish, whole grains, and fruit. Drink lots of fluids.
Step 7. Try to meditate and repeat a meaningful mantra
Repetitive messages, whether positive or negative, can have a great impact on the psyche. Replace worries with positive thinking by filling your mind with meaningful words. Choose a mantra that helps you get through the day. Repeat this when you feel overwhelmed by events. Every time you recite it, think about its deep meaning. Here are some examples:
- "Be the change you want to see in the world" (Mahatma Gandhi).
- "Action is the antidote to despair" (Joan Baez).
- "Only ourselves can free our mind" (Bob Marley).
- "Instead of cursing the dark it is better to light a candle" (Eleanor Roosevelt).
Step 8. Try to understand what meaning you attach to your life
Those who think their life has a purpose tend to be happier than those who think they have a useless existence. Have you ever stopped to think about the meaning of life? No one can really know the answer to this universal question. Either way, you can decide what it means to you. Making sense of your life will help you get out of bed every day, even when everything seems to be falling apart.
- Someone finds the meaning of their life through religion or by cultivating their spiritual side.
- Studying philosophy could help you understand your worldview in more detail.
- From a personal point of view, the most significant aspects of your life could be your relationships, your job, your art or whatever.
Step 9. Slow down to enjoy the beauty of life
Certainly there are aspects of your existence that make you feel good and at peace. Whether it's drinking your first cup of coffee in the morning, walking to work on sunny days or taking a 10-minute cigarette break, live in the moment. Give yourself a chance to slow down and appreciate the finer things in life. You will accumulate a whole series of positive thoughts that will come to your rescue in difficult times.
Step 10. Help others
Even doing a seemingly insignificant action, such as helping someone carry shopping bags, will stimulate greater positivity. Engaging with volunteering will give you even better results. Try to understand what you have to offer and share it generously as often as possible.
Do you think you have nothing to offer? Find a homeless shelter in your city and volunteer for a few hours a week. You will find that every moment you can dedicate to others has immense value
Method 3 of 3: Finding a Solution with Psychotherapy or Medicine
Step 1. Learn about cognitive psychotherapy techniques to see if they are right for you
A large part of the time you spend on this treatment is dealing with the problems in your life. A therapist will help you examine your unproductive thoughts and behaviors in order to change them and try to reduce the effect they have on you. You will collaborate with the professional as if you were a team. You will make joint decisions about the topics for discussion and the "homework" to be done at home.
- Cognitive psychotherapy has been shown to be as effective as antidepressants for fighting mild or moderate depression.
- Cognitive psychotherapy is as effective as antidepressants in preventing relapse.
- The benefits of cognitive psychotherapy often manifest themselves after weeks.
- If this treatment seems right for you, choose a therapist and make an appointment. Start doing an online search to find specialists in your area. Visit the APC website.
Step 2. Learn about interpersonal psychotherapy to see if it is right for you
It is targeted for those with interpersonal problems. It is a short-term treatment, in fact usually the meetings are weekly and last one hour, for a total of 12-16 weeks. The sessions are specifically designed to help resolve interpersonal conflicts, changes affecting an individual's social role, pain and problems with the development of social relationships.
- The psychotherapist employs several techniques, including empathic listening, role play and communication analysis.
- If you think this is a good solution for you, consult an interpersonal psychotherapist. You can use the internet to search for one in the area. You will find more information on the website of the Italian Society of Interpersonal Psychotherapy.
Step 3. If you think it might be right for you, find out about family therapy
The specialist aims to help family members resolve their mutual conflicts and personalize sessions based on patients' problems. Any family member willing to participate will be welcome. The expert will examine whether the family is able to solve problems, analyze the role of each component, identify the strengths and weaknesses of the family unit.
- Family therapy is especially effective for individuals with marital and family problems.
- Seek out a family psychotherapist and make an appointment if you think this treatment is right for you. Again you can start doing an online search. Consider the Family Therapy site.
Step 4. Learn about acceptance and commitment therapy
According to this type of treatment, it is possible to achieve greater well-being and greater happiness by overcoming negative thoughts, emotions and associations. The psychotherapist works with the patient to change the way he perceives negativity and helps him see life in a more positive light.
If you think this treatment is right for you, seek out a specialist psychotherapist and make an appointment. Again you can do an online search. You will find more information on the ACT Italy website
Step 5. Be especially careful when choosing a therapist
You need to review his training and qualifications. You also need to consider the costs and consider whether it is possible to finance the treatment with insurance. You should also inquire about the modalities of therapy.
- Find out about the qualifications and titles of the specialist you are targeting.
- Find out about the psychotherapist's fees and ask if the first visit is paid or not. Alternatively, consider a treatment in a public facility.
- Find out about the frequency of the sessions (once a week or more often), their duration and any limits on confidentiality.
Step 6. If no method has helped you get better, ask your doctor for help
It can be quite difficult to fight depression, so many turn to their doctor for advice. Try talking to your primary care physician first. If you don't have one, search the internet for a professional and make an appointment to discuss your problems.
Step 7. Prepare properly for the visit
Many associate medical studies with blood tests and samples sent to the laboratory, but they are almost never needed to diagnose depression. Instead, your doctor will do a physical evaluation and conduct a personal interview to determine if you have depression. It will look at the following:
- Sadness or depression.
- Weight change.
- Fatigue.
- Insomnia.
- Thoughts of death or suicidal thoughts.
- Laboratory tests may be needed to rule out any physical causes of depression.
Step 8. Your doctor may prescribe medications to combat depression
It is likely that you will be recommended psychotherapy first. In any case, there are also drugs that can greatly improve the situation. If he prescribes them for you, be sure to follow the instructions carefully. Antidepressants should be taken exactly as directed by the specialist.
Some medicines for depression include paroxetine, escitalopram, sertraline hydrochloride, and fluoxetine. Each drug can affect each person differently, but results usually begin to show after about a month
Advice
- Avoid making your moods weigh on the people around you. Instead, write, confide in a friend, draw, take a walk, and so on.
- Don't get carried away by self-pity. If you can't change the situation, you can always resort to introspection and decide how to react.
- Don't make the mistake of sitting idle instead of looking for a solution.
Warnings
- When you feel depressed, avoid using drugs and alcohol. Drug abuse can quickly become a crutch and this can lead to long-lasting addiction problems.
- If you need immediate help and think you are at risk of suicide, call 800860022.
