When you lend something of yours to a friend, sometimes it doesn't get paid back. The object is 'forgotten' or simply considered a gift, because it is liked. It is difficult to go to a friend to ask for a refund. The problem is that when you lend something you prefer (for example, a DVD) and want to get it back, you end up not asking for it and you buy it again, rather than make an explicit request. However, this article advises you how to go about asking for something back - most of the time you will probably find that your friend actually had it. forgotten!
Steps
Step 1. Go to your friend's house, act as if it were a normal meeting, and finally get to talk about the movie on the DVD or something related to the item you lent him
Step 2. While talking quietly about it, pretend you have forgotten it
Then say that you once had a DVD of that movie, a coat like the one you're talking about, a book by that author or a necklace that wore that pendant and so on. However, for this to work, the object must be in sight and perhaps even within reach.
Step 3. Tell him:
"You know what, I think this is mine! Did I leave it here?".
Step 4. Keep talking about the movie and the DVD
Ask: "Can I take it back? I want to look at it again" or "Could I have it back? I would like to wear it again because it matches the colors of the season!". The friend will give it back to you and you will get it back immediately.
Step 5. Be less subtle if this tactic doesn't work
Just ask. If you don't see it around, it's not on hand or you don't talk about it, but you are 100% sure you lent it to him, have the courage to make your request. Even though it's been a while, suppose she's going to give it back to you and say, "Hey, can you bring my copy of X when we meet on Tuesday?" You might also casually ask him, "Did I lend you X? I tried to find him in vain." He can say, "No, you didn't give it to me. If so, I'm pretty sure I gave it back to you. But if you can't find it, I'll look for it."
Advice
- Put your name on the item before lending it. A sticker or piece of duct tape will do, or you could use a label with your name pre-printed.
- Be frank when lending things in the future. Give it an expiration for a short period of time and don't let it pass without the item being returned to its rightful owner. Even if your friend wants to keep it a little longer, at least he will be aware that you expect him to give it back to you.
- Recognize that each person responds to their own way of communicating. Some people don't pick up on the signals, so it won't be enough to just introduce the item you loaned out as a topic for discussion. On the other hand, some people may take offense in the face of obvious frankness, feeling attacked. Get to know your friends and respect the way they communicate.
- Don't accuse your friend of intentionally not giving you back something you lent him, unless you think there is another way to get it back.
- Again, consider whether friendship is more valuable than the object. If it can be easily replaced, then rather than risk losing a friend, buy it again and forget you have loaned it to them.
- Next time, use a trick to keep track of your borrowed belongings. Sign up together with your friends on Neighbourgoods. The site will automatically remind everyone when an item has been borrowed and when it's time to give it back.
Warnings
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Sometimes friends are too scared to give something back, because they may have damaged or lost it. It is likely to happen to you, so be prepared to forgive them. In fact, if it was such an important and valuable item to you, you shouldn't have lent it - consider this tip as a possibility.
- If you trust a "friend" so much that you think he will pay you back what you lend him, let the matter go, otherwise you shouldn't lend it.
- If you decide to lend something, write it down in the presence of the other person and suggest a return date which you will record along with their phone number. When the day comes, the borrower won't be surprised to get a call from you, but they should be willing to give you back what you loaned them. For example, there are those who stick a list on the refrigerator with the date when it was "given" to someone of the food, with the container and the date it was given. This way the recipient knows there is a note and is ready to return the container, often with a thought in return.
- Make sure that, when you decide to lend something, it is not an object that has a certain value for you (for example, your favorite shirt or jacket) because sometimes if there is a misunderstanding, there is a risk of ruining a 'friendship.
