Maybe your friend just broke up with the girl and you want him to meet a new one. Maybe he supported you last week to get you a good grade on the exam. Whatever your reason for supporting your friend, if you want to be perfect then you need to know how to avoid stealing the show and help him get the girl he likes, without drawing too much attention to you. If you don't want to just be his sidekick, follow these tips and your friend will thank you in no time.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Attempt the Approach
Step 1. Don't back up with someone who is significantly less performing than you
It's bad to say but that's the way it is. If you're a Ryan Gosling to Tom Brady guy and your friend is slightly below average in the appeal department, you're not going to be successful. You and him should be similar in terms of attractiveness, character and prowess. Otherwise the girls you meet will only look at you and your friend will only feel worse.
That's not to say your friend can't impress more than you just because he's less handsome. But if he also lacks charisma and doesn't know how to talk to girls while you're a born storyteller, then you won't have much luck together
Step 2. Let him lead the game
When you approach the girls, do it so that he is the first to be noticed. If he stays on the sidelines, they will think "he" is backing "you" and will likely get confused. He should be the one introducing you and initiating the conversation while you hang out. You don't have to seem dumb about the situation of course, but girls should notice him and not you.
- If there is only one girl, you can let him speak first and then join them.
- If there are two, most likely, then there are two schools of thought: some say you should wait two minutes for the approach; others like relationship guru Chase Amante believe you should wait until your friend has "warmed up" the girls.
Step 3. Prioritize it
That's what the shoulders are for, right? Sure, a girl may be from your hometown, cheer on your own team, and look like the more human version of Megan Fox, but it's not for you. If you are the shoulder, then it is because you owe your friend something, or because you are not single or because you still want him to have fun. This means that you cannot change your mind halfway and steal the conquest. If there is only one girl, then you have to stay on the sidelines even more, but if they are a couple, leave them the one who hit him and take care of the other.
Learn how to read the signs to figure out which girl he likes. Sometimes they can be painfully obvious, but at others you will need to know how to read them. Check to see if he hooks her with his eyes and tries to get close to her, or if he tries to give you dirty looks in case you are paying too much attention to her
Step 4. Form pairs
"Occupy" is not just a radical protest movement, for the rest of the night it should be your mantra. If there are two girls, let your friend choose the one he likes and spend the rest of the evening taking care of the other, distracting and entertaining her. Hey, it can be hard but no one ever said shoulder is easy. You don't have to keep her apart from her friend, but remember that for the evening, she will be "your" girlfriend. Try to pay minimal attention to the other, even if she keeps looking at you.
It's important, once you figure out which girl your friend wants, that you stay with the other one from the start. If you try to change it, they will get confused
Part 2 of 3: Learn your Role
Step 1. Interfere if necessary
Think of yourself as half friend and half bodyguard. If others try to get in the way or obstruct your friend's approach, you will need to push them away without looking like an idiot. There will likely be other guys who will want to talk to the same girl if she's special, so be on the lookout for any intruders. If a friend of the girl approaches, however, you will have to be nice to him while avoiding him taking her away.
Sometimes, you will have to interfere with other girls. Whether it's her friend or others present who want to talk to your friend or try to distract her. Swallow them, entertain them, or bore them to death until they get bored
Step 2. Know when to speak and when to shut up
This is another excellent attribute of a good shoulder. You should talk, make the girls laugh, tell something about yourself and keep the conversation flowing, but not too much to hold back and become funnier, louder, or just plain better than your friend. He is the one who has to talk the most and you should get him off the hook in case of embarrassed silence or when you can contribute something that puts him in good light … but not too much (see below).
- Don't interrupt him when he talks unless you "really" have something to add. Otherwise he will look stupid.
- If silence falls, don't say "How embarrassing …" Talk about something.
Step 3. Don't get distracted
Maybe a bunch of beautiful girls come along. Or your favorite team is having a head-to-head with the opponent and they are in overtime. Maybe your brother called you to ask you a favor. You have to focus like a laser on your job, which incidentally is getting your friend to go home with the girl or at least get him to check her phone number.
Tell yourself that you are doing him a favor and that next time it will be your turn
Step 4. Don't get drunk
This goes without saying but it is a common mistake of the shoulders. Are you trying to help your friend by talking to a girl you don't care about, so can you blame yourself because after the first 45 minutes you're bored to death? Of course you can. How can you be a good sidekick if you suddenly see double? You will not succeed. If you drink too much you will look like a fool and as a result, your friend will also make the same impression. And who wants to go home with an idiot?
Get a grip on yourself. If it's a high-alcohol night and both your friend and girlfriend are getting down on it, that's one thing; but you don't have to be the one on the fifth round of tequila while everyone's still on the first
Step 5. Take courage
Are you tired? Would you like to go home to play on the Xbox? Do you miss your girlfriend and would like to talk to her on the phone and say goodnight to her? Bad bad. Tonight it is not you who decides but your friend. Unless you "really" have compelling reasons to go home or are having a terrible night in all respects, you need to grit your teeth and get by.
- As soon as you say you want to go home, the magic will end and you will have ruined your friend's chances of hitting the goal.
- If you really want to leave, tell him in advance, even if you have to text him to do so so he can come up with a plan not to lose sight of the girl.
Step 6. If you are already busy… say so
Yes, if you walk up to two girls and say you're busy within the first five minutes, they probably won't want to talk to you, especially if they're hunting themselves. But if you go on after a couple of hours without saying it, you will seem like a superficial type. Find a natural way to insert your girlfriend into the conversation, even if it seems a little forced once you and the girl you entertain get to know each other.
You don't have to be the guy who talks about his beloved every couple of minutes, but let the other one know you're busy so she knows you can just be friends
Part 3 of 3: Helping Your Friend Go to Goal
Make your friend look good… but not too much
If you've read more tips on how to shoulder, you may start thinking that you have to praise your friend in front of all the girls, saying how strong he is: the coolest, coolest, richest and most talented in the world. If you do this you will draw them all to you, so only put him in a good light if you can do it within a conversation and in a natural way.
Step 1.
- If you say something good about your friend, don't show yourself with those, "Isn't that great?"
- This doesn't imply that you have to belittle him or make him look like a loser. That doesn't help either and both of you would make a bad impression on us.
Step 2. Make your friend presentable
If he's spilled beer on his pants, tell him, if he's got something on his nose or if his zipper is off, tell him. And point out that by being too drunk, he's making a fool of himself. If you want her to get busy, then you need to make sure she looks her best for the girl of her dreams. Even if you take care of the other, don't ignore it completely and always control it discreetly. That way you will know how to support him without giving the idea of holding him by the hand.
If you have to tell him that something has turned over on him or about his appearance, try to be diplomatic
Step 3. Let him know he has no chance
This is another of the main aspects of whoever does the shoulder. Have you been talking to a girl who rolls her eyes for hours? If you see him chatting with someone who looks around, checks his phone every five minutes, or appears to be attending a chemistry class, then you're going to do him a favor by saying, "Hey dude, I think we should go." While his pride may be hurt, he'll thank you for not making his evening more awkward than that.
An hour is long to pass. You can tell if the girl is interested in your friend or not in about 10-15 minutes. Sometimes you will find that he has no hope in just two minutes
Step 4. Be a good connector
It is another way to help your friend. Think about what he and she may have in common and try to bond if you can. If the girl says that she has just been to Los Angeles, if he does not hear her explain to her that he too has been there for study; if you realize that she supports Juventus, tell her that your friend has a stadium card in Turin. Look for opportunities to get them to talk even more.
Do not overdo it. You can't force them to talk about something they don't know much about
Step 5. End the evening on a positive note
Eventually, you should retire and let your friend enjoy his magic moment. If there are two girls, you can move with her so that your friend and the other feel more comfortable. But if you've both talked to the same girl, go to the bathroom, pretend you need to call or order another drink while they talk. Do whatever it takes to make sure your friend gets her phone number… or her address.
- If at the end of it all he leaves with the girl, then make sure you have a way home. You don't have to put yourself in the position of sharing a taxi with your friend and his new girlfriend.
- If the girl and your friend don't end up together, don't worry about it. You have done your best and will have other opportunities to demonstrate your shoulder qualities.
Advice
Remember the touch and it doesn't matter when you help your friend
Warnings
- It might not be a good idea if you like the same girl as your friend.
- Better not get involved in a relationship like this to avoid confrontations.
- Try not to put yourself in the position of having obligations towards your friend.
