Do you dislike new experiences, do you withdraw into yourself or behave rudely? It happens to everyone to have inappropriate behaviors, but learning to recognize them will help you not to be a ball and chain for friends and family. You can learn to trust your social relationships more and pretend until you truly believe them.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Avoid Looking Pathetic
Step 1. Stop complaining
Nobody likes to be surrounded by people who complain about everything. For example, taking the floor at a dinner with several guests to complain loudly about food is pathetic and self-centered behavior. If you have to complain about something, do it at the end of the dinner and in private. In general, do your best to look for the bright side in any situation and focus on having fun, not what's hindering it.
- If you're not having fun doing something, count to ten before you feel the need to complain. Why aren't you having fun? Will complaining change anything? Unless the answer is yes, keep your mouth shut, as you will simply end up hurting other people's feelings and lowering your morale.
- Also avoid being presumptuous. Don't sneak up on something just to look better in the eyes of others. Instead of saying “I hate to think that I didn't pass the competition because of their mistake”, try to be more spontaneous and express yourself like this: “I think I'm a very lucky person. Being able to pass the competition would be incredible”.
Step 2. Stop overstating the little things
Do you remember how excited you were about that toy you received at the age of five? How bad are you now? Pathetic people treat everything like that toy. Try to take a step back and look at the situation from a broader perspective so that you don't lose touch with reality.
- It's okay to get excited about something and it's normal to get down on something else. The difference is that pathetic people emphasize both positive and negative things. Try to evaluate reality for what it really is.
- An inadequate statement: “I kill myself if I can't go to that party with someone. My life will end that same evening if I don't go to the party”. A normal statement: “I hope I can go to the party. I would have a lot of fun”.
Step 3. Keep your word
There is nothing worse than unreliability. Telling your friends that you will be there and then standing up at the last minute is inappropriate behavior. Promising your brother that you will date him on Friday night and then ignoring his messages to date a girl is pathetic behavior. If you want to avoid sounding pathetic, make words mean something by confirming them with actions.
Some people can't say no, so they make too many commitments. If you've already planned on going out with a friend, but then a girl asks you on a date, it won't be the end of the world if you ask her to postpone. Be honest and have the courage to tell the truth
Step 4. Stop asking for reassurance
Often a pathetic attitude is the result of a low self-esteem. People who need constant reassurance from others or regularly need to be complimented to keep their self-esteem high may seem somewhat pathetic to people who have more self-confidence. Even if you don't have faith in yourself, stop looking for reassurance in others and look for it within yourself.
- You don't have to be the safest person in the world to stop being a friend in need of attention. Nobody feels confident and comfortable at all times, but you will seem pathetic if you ask others to reassure you over and over.
- To learn more about how to cultivate your self-esteem, read the next section.
Step 5. Be honest with people
It's easy to tell the truth when things are going well, but what if things go wrong? What happens when you get into trouble at work and the boss is looking for someone to pick on? What happens when your parents try to figure out where the scratch on the car came from? You are pathetic if you lie to escape your responsibilities.
Sometimes, teens develop a tendency to exaggerate the truth and color stories in order to improve their image. Instead of making up what you did last weekend, plan the next one in such a way that it is exciting to have something better to tell in the future
Step 6. Have the courage to say "yes" to many things without being afraid to even say "no"
If you are someone who doesn't like new experiences, it will be difficult for others to think of you as a different person. Pathetic people always come up with excuses to avoid events rather than finding reasons to act, have fun, and take risks. Instead of making excuses for not doing something, invent reasons for doing it.
Being more available doesn't mean being careless. It is wrong to betray one's principles and turn into someone else just to impress others. Don't try drugs or alcohol just to follow your classmates' example and don't get persuaded. You would be pathetic
Step 7. Create an empathic bond with others
Learn to listen to others and respect them for who they are. Try to really care about what happens in other people's lives. Ask them questions and pay attention to their answers. As you listen, don't just think about when it will be your turn to speak. Actively listen to people and learn everything there is to learn from them.
Pathetic people are often self-centered and self-obsessed. If you want to avoid this kind of attitude, learn how to show empathy
Part 2 of 3: Have Higher Self-Esteem
Step 1. Stop making excuses
When you make mistakes, you can find a million excuses to justify what you did, to explain why you failed or what prevented you from succeeding. If you do, you are pathetic. Even if the world is against you and everything moves in favor of others, you must take responsibility, admit your actions and do your best.
Don't make excuses for the mistakes you've made, but most importantly, don't get your hands on. If you think that you will fail an exam because you are not good enough at math, you will probably fail before you even begin. You will look pathetic if you don't even try
Step 2. Speak clearly and loudly
You can show confidence, even if you feel inadequate and not quite sure of yourself, simply in the way you express yourself. Use a tone that suits the circumstances and raise your voice just enough to make others hear what you have to say. Be as clear and concise as possible.
- Don't express yourself in language based on uncertainty. Never start a sentence with “I don't know exactly what I'm saying, but…” or “It's stupid, but…” or “Sorry, but…”.
- Expressing yourself decisively has a double effect. It will make you feel good, even if you are pretending to be confident, for taking a stand and communicating it, and at the same time, it will earn you the respect of others just for making your voice heard. In the future, people will have respect for you and, in return, you will gain more self-confidence - an advantage for both of you.
Step 3. Speak only when you have something to say
We have all seen meetings, lectures or discussion groups where one of the participants does not know how to keep his mouth shut and feels the constant need to contribute whenever the opportunity arises. It is inappropriate to speak when you have nothing to say. Learn to be quiet when you don't know what to say to contribute to the conversation and instead decide to listen.
It is also important to understand when is the right time to intervene. The conversation cannot be univocal and those who do not understand that in dialogue we speak and listen to each other is in some way pathetic
Step 4. Stop comparing yourself to others
It's not just an unhealthy way to invest your time, but constantly competing with others can only make you even more pathetic. If you don't have a deep sense of your personality and confidence, but choose to compare your skills and abilities to those of others, everything you do is for a wrong reason and therefore inadequate.
"They have had more advantages than me" is the mantra of the pathetic person. Instead of focusing on what others have had that you lack, strive to overcome obstacles. Think of your story as a success, not a failure. Convince yourself that you are strong
Step 5. Learn to be autonomous
Everyone needs help every now and then, but if you have a constant need to ask others for help you will feel helpless and pathetic. You aim to learn everything you need to know to trade in your world. If you want to know how to do something, learn how to do it and do it yourself.
- This is especially true for parents. Do you need them to pay your phone bill or could you find a job to take responsibility? If you are able to do something, what are you waiting for?
- You are pathetic even if you try something you can't do because you are too proud to ask for help. Instead of stubbornly trying to fix your car without knowing how to do it just because you are too proud to admit it, take heart and seek help. This way, you can learn how to do it and be autonomous next time.
Step 6. Be proud of your body
If you want to feel satisfied with yourself, start using your body properly to be proud of it. From the clothes you wear to the choices you make, it's important to have control over your body and not treat it as an enemy or an obstacle.
If you use your body in a way that doesn't make you happy and doesn't satisfy you, have the courage to change your habits. If you want to be physically active, find an activity you enjoy, get out there and start sweating. If you drink too much alcohol or abuse other substances, take the plunge and quit. You are stronger than your vices
Part 3 of 3: Looking More Confident
Step 1. Wear clothes that make you feel comfortable
Styles and trends change so frequently that there is no fixed rule in clothing that will keep you from being pathetic on every occasion - one style of dress can be great during one season and inadequate the next. Doesn't it seem exaggerated to follow trends or go to the mall every two weeks to keep up with the times? It is best to overcome these worries and wear the clothes that make you feel comfortable.
If it makes you feel comfortable wearing trendy clothes, go for it. If you don't see how high-waisted pants or a peaked cap can go out of style, don't wear them
Step 2. Walk with your head held high
Confident people walk as if they feel comfortable and belong to the environment around them. Pathetic people, on the other hand, walk as if they want to be anywhere else but this one. Even if you don't have particular confidence in yourself, practice walking with your head held high as is worthy of a human being. Keep your shoulders back and your chin elevated. Believing in what you are doing will help you do it better.
Step 3. You must be physically capable of carrying out the activities you are involved in
We are all different and able to do different things, but it is good to know your limits to push yourself as far as possible. If you want to spend a long life playing video games and working on a computer, you probably don't need to be able to lift a 215-pound barbell, but you definitely need to look after your nutrition and make sure you get enough exercise to live long enough to be able to. witness the 50th anniversary of the Sony PlayStation.
- If you want to play a sport but don't feel like running, you will look pathetic when the season starts. Try to be fit enough to play the sport you want.
- You don't have to be ashamed if you avoid swimming because you don't feel comfortable in a bathing suit. However, if you really want to go swimming, have the courage to do it and feel comfortable or improve your fitness.
Step 4. Slow down
Whenever we feel nervous, we tend to rush. From public speaking to interpersonal relationships, those who are insecure seem to want to overcome events extremely quickly. Therefore, if you want to build self-confidence and make others see you as a confident and calm person, pretend to be to the point of becoming one.
- Speak slowly and clearly, take the time to pronounce every single word and structure your speech as accurately as possible.
- Breathe. Take breaks to get some air, to process what you are saying and to think.
Step 5. Make eye contact with your interlocutor
When was the last time you made eye contact with someone and the other person cut it off first? It might seem like a random factor, but making eye contact can alter people's perception of you and make you appear more confident in your one-on-one interactions. Don't look down. Look people straight in the eye and don't look down. This will help you to have more confidence in yourself and to look more confident in the eyes of other people.
Obviously, don't overdo it. If you stand there with wide eyes staring at your interlocutor, you may make him feel uncomfortable
Step 6. Be proud of your appearance
As mentioned, there is no right and wrong way to dress. The general rule is that a pathetic person spends too much or too little time caring for their exterior. It is important to be proud of your appearance and use it as a tool to build your own confidence, rather than a burden to contend with all the time.
- If you are obsessed with your wardrobe, your body and your daily beauty care, maybe it's time to take a step back to focus on other aspects of life. Appearance is not everything.
- If you are not a fashion addict and can't remember the last time you cut your hair, that's not a problem, but minimal care is essential. You need to provide yourself with the basics of personal care and hygiene: brush your teeth twice a day, wear clean clothes, shower several times a week, and you'll be fine.
Advice
- Beware of secrets.
- Don't go crazy for makeup or clothes.
