We all feel desperate when we are vulnerable. You may have just gotten out of a long relationship or gone through a big change in life. Whatever the reason, you should avoid behaviors that make you seem desperate and be confident.
Steps
Method 1 of 3: Avoid Desperate Person Behavior
Step 1. Avoid complaining all the time because you are still single
Even if you do it to be ironic, you will look desperate in the eyes of others. Additionally, you may also appear to disrespect your friends who have happy relationships. Avoid complaints like:
- "You are so lucky to have a boyfriend, I wish I had what you have.";
- "I hate being single! I would like to find a boyfriend.";
- "I don't want to be a third wheel, being alone sucks.".
Step 2. Don't try to attract compliments
This means that you shouldn't encourage other people to praise you. A strategy used by many people with this intent is to self-criticize, waiting for others to express their disagreement. Avoid seeking compliments from people you care about or from friends. It is an attitude that makes you appear insecure, false and desperate. Avoid phrases like:
- "I'm too fat to find a man.";
- "I'm so stupid!";
- "Today I look awful.";
- "Do you think this shirt looks good on me?".
Step 3. Avoid ignoring friends
Don't neglect your friendships to try to impress. This attitude causes resentment and alienates friends. Avoid:
- Telling an embarrassing story about a friend to appear in a better light;
- Ignoring friends while trying to get a handsome guy's attention
- Making negative comments about your friends to impress for example "Oh, Laura doesn't like football as much as I do".
Step 4. Avoid lying or embellishing the truth
In the end, the truth always comes out; pretending to be different than you are to grab a man's attention is desperate behavior, which will ultimately do you no good. Unfortunately, many people lie at the beginning of a date, but you don't imitate them. Some of the more common lies include:
- Lying about your job;
- Lying about salary or money;
- Lying about age;
- Lying about your romantic relationships.
Step 5. Avoid overdoing it
You have to learn to be happy alone in order to be happy with another person. If you try too hard to be someone other than who you are, your life and that of your partner will become more stressful. Here are some attitudes to avoid in order not to be too dedicated to a couple relationship:
- Being too accommodating - in a relationship, it's normal to try to make your partner happy, but overdoing it will make you seem desperate. He might think you need him too much.
- Running too much - in a relationship, it's a good idea to be clear and honest about your expectations, but wanting too much, too soon, can make you seem desperate. For example, don't expect to talk about the most important decisions in life (such as marriage or children) in the early stages of a relationship.
Keep your feelings in check when you meet someone new
Dr Chloe Carmichael, a psychologist and personal growth coach, advises: "Many people give up caution completely when they meet someone who is fascinating or arouses a lot of emotion. While you shouldn't be difficult in all cases, it is not always. a good idea to jump headlong into a relationship with too much impulsiveness."
Method 2 of 3: Learn to Turn the Page
Step 1. Know when to step aside
Once you understand that a person isn't interested in you, it's time to stop chasing them and move on. Hunting a man who doesn't care can lead to resentment of you. Also, you should consider ending relationships that you are clinging to desperately. If the following are true, it's probably time to take a step back:
- You can't remember the last time you had a heartfelt, deep conversation;
- You can't find anything in common with him;
- You don't respect your partner or he doesn't respect you;
- You and your partner can't compromise;
- You notice that the negative moments are more than the positive ones.
Step 2. Avoid following the man you are interested in on social networks
Don't check everything he does on the internet. Do not leave comments on his photos, posts and do not send him e-mails. Also, avoid obsessively analyzing what he writes. Other stalker behaviors you should avoid include:
- Do research on friends who have talked to the guy you are interested in
- Read your e-mails or your mail;
- Read his old posts or look at his photos;
- Reproach or blame him for talking to other people on the internet.
Step 3. Avoid being sticky
Your partner should feel comfortable around you. You shouldn't scare him by giving him too much attention. Instead, give it some space:
- Avoid texting him more than two consecutive messages or less than 10 minutes apart and try to contact him only when you have a real reason to do so;
- Don't get nervous and don't get angry if he doesn't answer you right away;
- Don't follow him;
- Don't be too accommodating. For example, don't shy away from making commitments with friends because you want to keep yourself free for your partner.
Method 3 of 3: Convey Security
Step 1. Maintain your standards
If you are feeling lonely or have been single for a long time, despair can push you to settle for any man who shows interest in you. However, this can lead to disastrous and unsatisfying romantic relationships. Maintain your standards in the following way:
- Look for a partner who respects you and your interests. By dating someone who doesn't respect you, you show that you are desperate enough to give everyone a chance. Look for a man you can talk to about your interests and who doesn't belittle you.
- Find a partner who loves spending time with you. If you are in a relationship with someone who agrees to see you only when it suits them, your desperation probably leads you to accept any kind of company.
- Look for a partner who shares your values or goals. Don't settle for someone who disrespects you and your principles.
Step 2. Avoid rationalizing bad behavior towards you
While it is easy to identify the attitudes due to despair when looking for a romantic relationship, despair can also manifest itself in already formed relationships. Avoid clinging desperately to a relationship that no longer works. Consider ending a relationship if:
- Your partner physically or emotionally abuses you. These behaviors are dangerous to your emotional or physical health and you should definitely not accept them.
- Your mate does not respect you, your friends or your family. Don't try to please others with your romantic relationship or find a guy your mom would approve of just out of desperation. It's important that your relationship works out and you shouldn't settle for any guy just because you're afraid of being single.
- Your mate is a negative presence in your life. Avoid making excuses for him out of desperation, with the hope that he will change. Supporting your boyfriend is one thing, but always justifying his behavior is another.
Step 3. Stop comparing yourself to others
In this way, you would develop a bad image of yourself and fall into a negative thought loop. Instead, list your strengths and what makes you unique.
- Identify which aspects of your life you compare to others. Your appearance? Your intelligence? Once these thoughts are identified, it will be easier to eliminate them.
- Remember that you are in control of your actions and feelings. It is easy to believe that society imposes a way of being or appearing on us; however, you are the only person who decides how to behave and what to think.
- Try replacing negative thoughts with positive ones. This will help you create good habits, develop self-esteem and feel happier.
Step 4. Surround yourself with positive people
It's easier to create good habits when you have friends cheering on you! Avoid isolating yourself; on the contrary, surround yourself with positive people to help you make the best decisions for your life.
