Sometimes ending a friendship is more difficult than ending a love affair or a relationship with a family member. Your best friend knows you all too well and you often spend more time with him than anyone else. When the friendship falls apart, you can not help but let go, face the situation with due maturity and learn to interact with those who shared this special emotional relationship. It won't be easy to relate to your former best friend, but you need to get used to moving forward and allowing yourself to be happy.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Leaving the Friendship Behind
Step 1. Put your heart at peace
When a friendship comes to an end, you have to accept and process what you are feeling. You could write a letter expressing all of your feelings (you don't have to send it to the other person) or devise a ritual that symbolizes the end of your relationship. To find your serenity, you need to recognize how emotionally you are feeling, process it and move on.
- In the letter you could talk about the extraordinary beginning of your friendship and the decline it has had. Describe in detail the last phase of your relationship and how it made you feel, making it clear that it is all over.
- If you prefer a gesture that symbolizes the end of your friendship, you might consider taking a gift from your friend and burying it, burning it, or just throwing it away. Make sure that whatever he decides to do is the end of your relationship.
Step 2. Try to be calm
Start by making small changes, for example in nutrition. Avoid venting anger excessively or too frequently. Do whatever you like to do and be generous with other people. It can be daunting at first, but you have to face the situation because your peace of mind essentially depends on you.
Watch movies you love, eat at your favorite restaurants, and try new things to see what makes you happiest
Step 3. Prepare to meet him in the future
A friendship can end for a number of reasons, but it's possible that your ex-best friend may want to reconnect later on. If your guard is down, you may regret the decision you made. Think about what you will tell him if he ever tries to recover your relationship.
You could even practice in front of the mirror and prepare a speech, like, "I'm glad you still want to be my friend, but I think it's best to leave it as it is."
Part 2 of 3: Coping with the Friend's Reaction
Step 1. Ignore what it says about your account
You will likely be hurt by the rumors he made about you, even if they are true. However, the solution to dealing with such a situation is to ignore them. If you decide to clear things up, you will enter a vicious circle that can drag on for a long time. Not only will you endanger other friendships, but you won't even have the strength to leave everything behind.
For example, if he talks badly behind your back in the school environment, ignore his gossip instead of acting the same way out of spite
Step 2. Don't involve other friends
Nobody likes to choose which side to take. It's not fair to ask mutual friends to take a stand. Don't gossip about him, especially with those who know you. You should also avoid sending him messages through your mutual acquaintances.
Never say, "Next time you see him, tell him I said he's a liar!"
Step 3. Set limits
Avoid talking to your ex best friend. Get away from the places and contexts you frequented together and change all the habits that involved him too. Sure there will be situations where you can't help but see him, but limit the opportunities that lead you to be in close contact with him as much as possible.
Step 4. Pretend you don't care
Malicious comments and rude gestures serve to stimulate a reaction in the person to whom they are addressed. However, if you don't react, your former friend will immediately leave you alone. Keep a positive attitude considering that what he says about you does not qualify you in any way. Furthermore, by ignoring the immaturity of others and letting go of the situation, you will not allow anyone to ruin your peace of mind.
If your ex-best friend leaves a vitriolic note on your car windshield, don't seek revenge. Just take it off and continue your day quietly. Don't be upset by what happened
Part 3 of 3: Interacting with the former Friend in Public
Step 1. Try to be nice
It is not excluded that you will meet him other times. In these cases, you need to remain calm and composed. If you can avoid talking at all, that's even better. Otherwise, say hello politely.
- If you see him at a party and he asks how you are, you can reply: "I'm fine, thanks. I hope you too."
- If you meet him at a school event, just give him a hint and continue having fun on your own.
Step 2. Don't linger in conversation
Being nice to a former friend does not necessarily mean taking a long time to talk to him. If you don't have a problem answering his questions, do it concisely. Avoid replying by asking other questions, otherwise it will be an invitation to extend the chat.
If he sees you at the grocery store and starts wondering how your mother is doing, answer politely, but don't ask him about his family. If you want to show attention to him, tell him, "My mother is fine. I hope yours too. I would be grateful if you would bring them my regards."
Step 3. Leave no room for misunderstanding
If you have no interest in reconnecting, don't be too accommodating. Be nice when you see him and end the conversation. If you let him know that you are suffering from his lack, you will leave a door open to the possibility of regaining your friendship and / or the reopening of hostilities.
There is no need to say "How nice to see you again!" or "See you soon". Have a short conversation in a polite manner, say, for example, "I'm glad you're okay. Forgive me, but I have to go to my girlfriend (or any other person you can think of). Hi!"
Advice
Being happy is the best way to get revenge on a hateful former friend
Warnings
- If he tries to hurt you physically, get help right away.
- If you can't handle the situation yourself, don't be afraid to seek help from an adult or someone you trust.
