If you find that you have feelings for your best friend and want to tell her, take a moment to think about how that might affect your friendship. Look for signs that she too likes you back, such as avoiding telling you who she has a crush on or if she touches your legs or arms in a playful way. When you reveal your feelings to her, do it in person, alone, and frankly, giving her time to understand what you have said. Regardless of what your answer is, always try to put friendship first and be proud of having had the courage to declare yourself!
Steps
Method 1 of 3: Identify the Signs that Indicate that it is reciprocating
Step 1. Flirt with your friend to see how she reacts
You can flirt in many ways, but it is important to use discreet tactics so as not to make her uncomfortable, such as looking her in the eye a little longer than usual or teasing her gently to see her reaction.
Know that your best friend may understand your flirting as mere sympathy, so don't rely on that alone in determining whether or not she reciprocates
Step 2. Notice if she talks to you about her crush
If your best friend often talks to you about who she likes or the guys she would like to date, it is a sign that she has no other feelings for you than normal friendship, so be aware if she introduces you to the guys she has a crush on or ask them. if she likes someone to be even more direct.
You might ask her, "Do you like someone?" when you talk about your friends' crushes or stories
Step 3. Notice if your best friend seeks physical contact in a playful way
Notice small gestures, such as placing a hand on your arm as you speak or a prolonged hug; similarly, do the same to her to try to figure out if she is interested in you: for example, you could accidentally pat her back or hug her around her waist as you walk.
Pay attention to her reactions. If she feels uncomfortable or rejects you, chances are she isn't interested in you
Step 4. Compliment her to get her to know you like her
Tell her things you like about her that you wouldn't normally confide, such as how much certain clothes give her or how much you admire her diligence in her studies.
You could compliment her by saying “I really like watching you play volleyball, you are very talented!” Or “This shirt brings out the color of your eyes”
Step 5. Ask for the opinion of a mutual friend, if you want
If both you and your best friend have a friend or friend you are both close to, the latter may know how the other feels about you, so you may want to confide in them and ask for their opinion on your intention to declare the your feelings.
Know that the mutual friend could report your confidence to the other, so make it clear not to mention it to anyone if that's what you want
Method 2 of 3: Talk to Your Best Friend About Your Feelings
Step 1. Ask her to meet you in person
You may be tempted to reveal your feelings to her through a text or a phone call, but it is preferable to talk to her face to face, as this will show that you are serious about your feelings and can more easily evaluate her reaction.
Talk to her when you are together on an ordinary date, such as at the park or at lunch
Step 2. Plan your speech in advance to get prepared
Write down the precise things you intend to say to your friend when you reveal your feelings to her, or create a mental outline of what you want to say first, because preparing the precise points in advance will help you feel calmer and more confident when dealing with. the conversation.
If you are very anxious, rehearse your speech in front of the mirror to feel more peaceful
Step 3. Talk to her when she has time to put her thoughts in order
Telling your best friend that you like her during the commercial break at the cinema or when she's about to leave is not a good idea; instead choose a time when you are both comfortable and in no rush to go elsewhere, such as in the evening or on the weekend.
- For example, you can do this on Fridays after school so she will have the whole weekend to reflect on her feelings.
- If you tell her just before the start of classes or in a hurry between one activity and another, you could be disconcerted.
- Organize yourself so that you have enough time not only to reveal your feelings to your friend, but also so that she has time to think and respond if she likes.
Step 4. Talk to her away from other people, for your privacy
Choose a place that is not very busy, such as a park or quiet areas of the school, and where there are no family and friends around, so that neither of you is uncomfortable and no one else listens to the conversation.
Talk to her on a walk rather than in a noisy, crowded restaurant
Step 5. Start an ordinary conversation before you tell her your feelings
Start by chatting as usual about familiar topics, such as school, homework, or extra-curricular activities, and when you feel comfortable, tell her that you would like to talk to her about something. Be sincere and honest about your feelings by stating that you have feelings for her and saying that you think it's important that she know.
You could say something like: "It's not easy for me to tell you, but I've had a crush on you for a while."
Step 6. Emphasize the importance of your friendship
Even if you wish to transform your relationship into something bigger, it is important that you tell the other that you do not want to lose her friendship if she does not reciprocate your feelings, then explain to her how much you care about your friendship and how much you want it to remain so.
After you reveal your feelings, you might add, "It would be great if you reciprocated my feelings, but first I want our friendship to stay strong."
Step 7. Tell your friend she doesn't have to give you an answer right away
It is likely that she will be surprised by your statement and may not know exactly what to think, so reassure her by telling her that you do not expect an immediate response and that you just want her to know how you feel.
Avoid asking her immediately how she feels about you or what she thinks about it so that she has time to put her thoughts in order
Method 3 of 3: Addressing the Answer
Step 1. Give your best friend time to think about what you have told her
The best thing to do is give her a couple of days to clarify her thoughts and feelings, then give her the time and space to understand what she feels and what to tell you.
While giving her a day or two to understand what you have said to her, continue to hang out with her and talk to her as usual, unless she says she needs some time for herself
Step 2. Accept their reaction, whatever it is
After you tell her your feelings, give her some time to assimilate the conversation, staying calm and respecting her feelings, whether they are confusion, enthusiasm, embarrassment or otherwise.
Step 3. Don't rush if your best friend says she has feelings for you
If he says he reciprocates your feelings, that's great news, but don't be in a hurry when starting a story and avoid rushing ahead. remember that your friendship is always very important, so don't do anything that puts it at risk.
Start by arranging a romantic date for the two of you alone to see how the new relationship works
Step 4. Avoid treating your best friend differently if she refuses you
Accept her decision and try to move on if she tells you that she doesn't have that kind of feeling towards you and that she just wants a friendship. While it is normal for you to feel uncomfortable in her presence for telling her your feelings, be proud of yourself for expressing yourself and try to keep your friendship strong.
It is a good idea to interpose some distance between the two of you for a while after you tell her your feelings if you feel very sad about her rejection
Step 5. If necessary, spend time with your family and indulge in hobbies
If you feel sad about your friend's rejection, try focusing on things you like, spending time with family and friends, and cultivating hobbies and passions that help you regain a good mood.
- Paint, create objects, play sports, read or compose music to focus on the things you like.
- If you need to talk to someone about your feelings, ask a family member or friend you are familiar with if they would like to listen to you and give you advice.
