Powerful people hold positions of power thanks to others, but that doesn't mean they don't take an active part in the process. To become powerful it is necessary to possess the characteristics and perform the proper actions of those who possess authority and influence. You may need to win over your friends to be able to influence others.
Steps
Part 1 of 2: Becoming a Powerful Person
Step 1. Find the right role for you
It will be easier for you to become powerful if you put yourself in a position that is natural for you. Find an activity you want to do, immerse yourself fully in the role and start from there to take the path that will lead you to have more power.
- In particular, you should try to take on leadership roles that you feel you can maintain, even if they are not closely related to the industry in which you want to become more powerful. For example, you could lead a small group to your parish, even if your intention is to become more powerful in your work environment.
- By holding positions of authority, you can develop a more powerful personality, which you can then apply to other areas of your life.
Step 2. Reflect on previous moments of power
You have probably experienced some of these moments before, although they may seem irrelevant when compared to the kind of power you are seeking right now. If you feel your resolve falter, remember these past moments and spend time reflecting on the feeling of power they gave you.
Moments to remember can cover any aspect of your life. For example, you can think of a significant academic achievement, such as an honors degree, or a personal achievement, such as quitting smoking. Regardless of what you choose, the goal is to focus on the feeling of power, rather than the event itself
Step 3. Assume a "power posture"
Although not always, powerful people tend to use an "expansive" body language, that is, to take up more space. This type of language conveys self-confidence to other people and this can cause you to be seen as a more powerful person.
- Some elements of this type of posture are crossing the arms and legs so that the knees protrude forward, extend the legs over the edge of the chair, or place the hands on the hips.
- Conversely, a compressed posture is shown when you flex your legs under the chair, drop your shoulders or keep your hands at your hips.
Step 4. Act like you are powerful before you even become powerful
To do this you will need to show that you are not afraid and that you are very confident. If you wait to gain power before backing your claims you may have to wait forever.
Don't be afraid to make changes or take risks. If you happen to be afraid, act as if this is not the case. Power is a virtuous circle: if others perceive you as powerful, they will naturally treat you as such, to the point of granting you a power that you did not previously have
Step 5. Stay true to your ideas
Recognize what you want and try to get it, whether others agree with you or not; conversely, do not pursue an idea just because it is popular.
In pursuing a goal, don't flaunt it all the time. If you do this it will appear that you are seeking approval and this will put you in a position of less power than those from whom you are trying to get it
Step 6. Break some rules
Don't be afraid to think outside the box and break some minor social rules or conventions. Being innovative often requires a leap of faith; moreover, violating - with a certain tact - less important conventions can also convey to others the impression that you are so powerful that you can get away with it.
The key is to understand which rules must be followed and which ones can be violated. There is not a single way to understand it, as circumstances can vary a lot, but in principle you only break the rules that must be broken. Evaluate if there is anything that can be improved by loosening some rules and try to understand what you can do to get rid of unnecessary restrictions
Step 7. Take Your Responsibilities
When things take a turn for the worse, don't point the finger at others and don't waste your time mulling over past mistakes; rather accept your responsibilities in order to remedy the mistakes made and make the most of the present situation.
Failures are part of everyone's life: powerful people are not afraid to acknowledge this. The key is to accept them and work to remedy them. Instead of arguing to find out who is to blame, you can demonstrate your power by simply declaring that you are ready to take care of the matter
Step 8. Take care of your well-being, both physical and mental
If you are not feeling fit you will not be able to emanate a powerful presence.
- Taking care of your physical health is pretty simple: eat right, exercise to stay fit, and sleep the hours your body needs to function properly.
- Taking care of your mental and emotional health can be more complicated, but in general you should take time to relax and connect with the people and things that you think are important to you. Don't get carried away in the pursuit of power to the point of letting this process consume you.
Part 2 of 2: Using Relational Skills That Express Power
Step 1. Define your expectations
Instead of waiting for others to make the decisions, make them yourself. Give up any delay and be clear about your needs and desires so that you can set the pace for each interaction with others for yourself.
Rather than asking for permission to do something, express your intentions without waiting for confirmation. Even if the situation ends in the same way regardless of whether it was you who made the first move, declaring your expectations immediately will allow you to conquer the position of greatest power in the interaction
Step 2. Treat people with professional courtesy
If you demand respect, you must be willing to give it. The time of others is just as precious as yours: it is important that you understand it.
Stick to the golden rule of treating others as you would like to be treated. It is not pleasant for a person to show up late for an appointment without first warning, nor is it to do someone a favor and not get even a thank you in return. If someone who does this is at risk of losing your confidence, be prepared to face the same consequences if you do
Step 3. Inform people
Good communication is essential if you want to become more powerful. Don't put people in the position of having to imagine what will happen or worry - rather provide all the details you would like to have yourself if the situation were reversed.
For example, if you are doing a search for a person and told them you would let them know on a certain day, it is vital that you contact them by the appointed day. Even if you do not have an answer, you must leave a message to let her know that you have not forgotten the question and that you intend to honor the commitment made
Step 4. Be clear
Effective communication leaves little room for mistakes or misunderstandings. When explaining something, do it as clearly as possible, making sure you've covered all the details before changing the subject.
- Detailed communication is important to avoid accidents and misunderstandings later on. Everyone must be on the same wave frequency. In the event that events precipitate, having maintained clear communication will limit the possibilities of mutual accusations, as no one will be able to simply say that they have not been aware of some details.
- Especially when it comes to work it is always wise to communicate as much as possible in writing, so that the details can be promptly quoted and examined at a later time.
Step 5. Anticipate needs and demands
Try not to wait for someone to ask you before completing a task or doing a favor: anticipating a need before it becomes urgent you will demonstrate a high level of competence.
- Of course, in some cases you will have to wait for instructions before taking action. For example, if it is a new job, it will take some time before you know everything you need to act independently.
- What you absolutely must avoid is that people have to ask you something repeatedly. Regardless of the quality with which you have completed the task entrusted to you, the person who receives the results will probably feel frustrated if they have to remind you several times.
Step 6. Get involved
Looking busy or distracted will not make you seem as powerful as you think, so don't get distracted when talking to someone, but make sure the other person has your full attention.
- In particular, do not constantly text, email and do not make calls at the expense of the person in front of you. Technology can keep us in constant contact with others - and that's a good thing - but we don't have to get addicted to it.
- When we interact with others it is necessary to do so by involving every aspect of our being - mentally and emotionally - and this requires attention and sincerity.
Step 7. Work well with others
If people fear the idea of working with you, they will probably even refuse to work for you. Try to accept the ideas of others and learn from them. When a conflict arises, manage it correctly instead of attacking the other in a mean way.
Instead of focusing on other people's mistakes, help them work on them. Likewise, when someone points out your mistake, accept the criticism politely and try to learn from it
Step 8. Establish an effective social network
While it is important to have a positive reputation regardless of who you interact with, you should pay particular attention to the relationships you have with those who are already in positions of power.
You should actively seek out people in positions of power - making connections with the right people will make it easier for you to get on the right path
Step 9. Show anger in appropriate situations
Conflicts are inevitable, so there is no point in avoiding them. Handle the situation as rationally and calmly as possible, but don't be afraid to express anger - as far as power is concerned, anger is better than remorse or sadness.
There is always room for forgiveness and understanding. That said, people generally don't seek forgiveness if we are too busy apologizing and feeling sorry for them. Allowing yourself to express anger does not mean being merciless, but demonstrating that we are not willing to be mistreated
Step 10. Don't be afraid to make enemies
You have to try to get along with most people but, at the same time, it is not possible to please everyone. Don't be afraid not to follow the flock or to be unpleasant to someone: if you always try to adapt to the expectations of others you will never gain any power and you will not assert yourself.
