You were wrong. You had a great responsibility and you made a mistake. Now it seems that the problem is irreparable, and you have to answer for it. Here are some tips for not losing your mind.
Steps
Step 1. Check to be sure:
is the situation truly irreparable? You could still do something, or take advantage of a legal quibble. It probably isn't, and the rest of this article will help you deal with the consequences.
Step 2. Get angry as well
Try to get to tears. This process is natural and you cannot avoid it. Crying also releases hormones that can comfort you and allow you to slow down and consider your situation more analytically. If you can't cry, use controlled breathing to slow your heart rate.
Step 3. Repeat this sentence ten times:
"Life is crazy, but I'm sane." Do it as a favor to yourself. When the problem started you may have been hoping that you were losing your mind, dreaming or hallucinating. Unfortunately, this is not the case. You will have to understand that you are still in control of your actions. Circumstances may be unpleasant, but you are still you. Go to step 4 when you have regained control over yourself.
Step 4. Accept the worst
Even if what just happened is a catastrophe, you need to prepare yourself by thinking about how terrible life will be in the near future. Leave room for dark thoughts. Imagine dying alone as a result of what you have done. Imagine that all your favorite things are stolen from you. These thoughts are natural, and you wouldn't be able to avoid them even if you tried. Take a few minutes for this step, and go to step 5 when you're done.
Step 5. Work out a new plan
As you can understand, life wouldn't be rosy if you tried to live it as if you weren't wrong. Begin to forget the life you led before. It is part of the past. Now analyze your other options. Try to list all the things you've been doing lately. You see? You can do a lot of things in life. There is always a small chance that you may start working on something new, if only to forget your failure.
Step 6. Don't think about your failure
It doesn't mean you have to pretend it didn't happen - you just have to understand that there is more to life. Life is HUGE. You probably already had a lot of interests and now you will only have one less.
Step 7. Think about the details
The stage where you could complain that you screwed everything up is over. Now your job is to be successful again. You don't have to pick up in the same field where you got it wrong. Think about all the things you can do. You might even be thinking about what you are going to eat tonight. Start planning even the smallest details.
Step 8. Two hours
The body's fight or flight reaction is hormonal, so you will have to wait for this phase to pass. You may have done something that requires quick action, but it probably isn't. You probably think you need to start checking for damage right away. You see? Fight or flight. There is a good chance you have at least two hours at your disposal. Find something you can do alone, quietly, and without moving too much, like writing, solitaire, or vacuuming. Your body tells you to let off steam or run a marathon - don't listen to it. After two hours, you will feel much calmer.
Step 9. Talk to other people about it
You may think you need to do this right away, but often it won't be that helpful. Before your two-hour break, you would have been so nervous that you mistreated the first person you met. Now that you're more relaxed, try having a conversation with someone about how to behave from now on. Don't talk about how difficult your life is - this is a thing of the past.
Step 10. Go ahead
Do something that can make you feel happy, even just a little.
Advice
- Avoid people during this process. Your adrenaline-pumping response will make you a bad negotiator.
- Try to write something unrelated to your situation. Writing is a process that will completely involve you and can distract you from your situation for the time it takes to regain control.
- If you are relying on a material object to comfort you, such as food or music, stop wasting time. These things solve nothing. Address the chest problem.
- Physical activity doesn't help. There are those who find it helpful, but in most cases when you are upset, angry and in shock the best thing to do is sit back and stay still.
Warnings
- Understanding when there is nothing more to do is not easy, and it depends on the particular situation. Don't rely on other people to decide when a situation is irreparable. Often people will give you false hope, which will not avoid your failure.
- If you have been prescribed something by a doctor, be sure to follow their directions.
- If you want to vent your frustration by punching something, don't. You would just end up getting hurt and you wouldn't feel better. The same is true for all physical reactions to such a situation.
