Nervous breakdowns are common in children with autism or with Asperger's syndrome. They occur when the baby is under pressure, angry or over-stimulated. These crises are dangerous for the child and terrible for the parents, so it is very important to develop an effective strategy to manage them and minimize their frequency.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Calming the Child During the Crisis
Step 1. Behave in a calm and reassuring manner
During the crisis the child is confused, agitated, frustrated, disturbed or frightened, in practice he experiences a whole series of negative emotions.
- So yelling, scolding him or even hitting him does not lead to anything, it only aggravates the situation.
- What the child needs, during the nervous breakdown, is to be reassured that everything will be fine, that he is safe and that there is nothing to fear. Try to be as patient as possible.
Step 2. Hug him
In most cases, the child's anger is expressed physically, so physical contact is important to calm him down. He may be so angry that he is completely beside himself. A hug helps him calm down and restricts his movements at the same time, so he can't hurt himself.
- The hug is recognized as a relaxation technique that eliminates anxiety from the body. At first the baby may try to push you away and wriggle, but after a few minutes he will begin to relax and calm down in your arms.
- Many people find it difficult to keep older and stronger kids, in this case it would be useful to have a more corpulent person (like the child's father) who is able to hold him.
Step 3. Make him take a break
There are times when reassuring words and loving hugs aren't enough to stop the crisis. In these situations, don't hesitate to be firm and inflexible with the baby.
- The first thing you should do is to move the baby out of that particular environment he is in, force him to stop and take him to a separate room. Isolation sometimes works as a calming agent.
- The duration of the "pause" can be as little as one minute or more, depending on the age of the child
Step 4. Learn to tell the difference between real breakdowns and simulated breakdowns
Sometimes children mimic a nervous breakdown to attract attention and get what they want. It is best to ignore these behaviors, otherwise the child will get used to using this tactic. The burden of knowing how to distinguish between a real crisis and a simulated one rests with you as a parent.
Step 5. Be prepared for future crises
These are part of the life of an autistic boy, so it is very important to be ready to deal with them.
- Make sure that all dangerous tools are out of the reach of the child as he could use them to injure himself or to injure those around him.
- Make sure there is someone strong nearby in case you need to hold them down.
- Your phone must be close at hand in case you need to call for help.
- Make sure that the child does not come into contact with things, people, situations that trigger the crisis.
Step 6. Call the police if necessary
They are very rare, but there are occasions when the situation is completely out of your control and there is nothing you can do to take back the reins. This is the time to call the police for help.
- Calling the police usually works as a sedative because the child is afraid of it.
- Before the police arrive, the child will have vented all his anger but will not be able to stop because he has lost his self-control.
Part 2 of 3: Preventing the Crisis
Step 1. Keep the baby busy
Crises are more likely if he's bored. So you should be alert to any signs of irritation or frustration that may indicate the onset of a nervous breakdown.
- As soon as you realize that the child needs something new, switch to another activity to give him a break from what is triggering boredom.
- Try to involve him in physical activities that help him release energy, such as a walk, gardening or anything that helps him "clear" his mind.
Step 2. Take him away from stressful situations
If you find that a condition, environment, or situation triggers emotional breakdowns, try to avoid the child being surrounded by it as soon as possible.
- For example, if you notice he's getting more and more agitated in a noisy room full of people, take him somewhere else before it's too late.
- Try to take it outdoors or in a quiet room where it can find tranquility.
Step 3. Film him during the nervous breakdown and show him the video later
Show him his behavior at a time when he is calm and when the symptoms of the breakdown have dissipated. This allows him to see his behavior with objective eyes and gives him the opportunity to do an analysis. As they say, "a picture is worth a thousand words".
Step 4. Explain the differences between good and bad behavior
When the child is old enough to understand, sit down with him and teach him what behaviors are acceptable and which are not. Also show him what the consequences of his behavior are, such as making mom and dad scared or sad.
Step 5. Implement positive reinforcement
When the child shows signs of controlling the seizure or at least making an effort to do so, sincerely praise him for his attempts. Emphasize good behaviors by highlighting their advantages and benefits. Tell him how proud you are of him, try to emphasize good deeds instead of punishing bad ones.
Step 6. Use a star chart
Prepare a billboard to hang in the kitchen or baby's room. Use a green star for any good behavior or a blue star for attempts at self-control (if it fails to manage the crisis). Use the red stars for any emotional breakdowns or whims that the child was unable to control. Encourage the child to make the red stars turn blue and the blue ones turn green.
Part 3 of 3: Understanding the Causes of Crises
Step 1. Be very careful of environments that send too much stimulus
A child with autism spectrum disorders (ASD) is unable to handle intense and overly stimulating environments and activities.
- Too much activity or too much noise can overwhelm him.
- The child then cannot manage this excessive stimulation and the nervous breakdown is triggered.
Step 2. Watch out for communication problems
Autistic children are unable to convey their feelings, anxiety, stress, frustration and confusion, due to their limitations in communication.
- This inability prevents them from building friendships and relationships by stressing them even more.
- Eventually they have no choice but to blow their feelings and seek refuge in the nervous breakdown.
Step 3. Don't overwhelm the child with information
Often children with ASD have problems processing information and managing a large amount of it in a short time.
- You have to present the information a few at a time, following a "small and simple step" strategy.
- When too much information is brought to the attention of an autistic child too quickly, there is a risk of panicking and triggering a crisis.
Step 4. Avoid alienating him too much from his daily routine
A child with autism or with Asperger's syndrome needs a constant and regular ritual every day in every aspect of his life. He develops expectations for everything and this rigidity gives him a sense of security and makes him feel calm.
- When there is a change in everyday life, for the child everything loses predictability and this greatly disturbs his serenity. Frustration can become panic and panic can become a nervous breakdown.
- The need for everything to always be the same and predictable gives the child a solid feeling of control over everything and everyone. But when this routine breaks down and what he expects does not happen, the child is overwhelmed.
Step 5. Be careful not to intervene when it is not necessary
Sometimes certain types or amounts of attention that the child does not expect or does not appreciate can trigger the crisis. This is especially true with food. The child expects the people around him to be able to respect his autonomy and the ability to know how to do some things on his own.
- For example: the child wants to spread butter on his toast himself, if someone intervenes and does it for him it could annoy him very much.
- From the outside it may seem like a trivial problem but for the child it has enormous significance. This could start a whim and trigger a crisis. So the best thing to do is let the child do his homework himself and just ask if he needs help.
