Most autistic children are not aggressive, but many of them have nervous breakdowns and have terrible tantrums when faced with difficult situations or when they don't get what they want. They do not react in this way to create difficulties, but because they do not know how else to react. By adopting a few simple strategies, you can help a child with autism limit emotional crises and tantrums and even increase his self-control.
Steps
Method 1 of 5: Managing a Nervous Crisis
Step 1. Assess the cause of your child's nervous breakdown
It is unleashed when an autistic subject, unable to manage the accumulated and repressed stress for a long time, manifests his frustration through a fit of anger that seems a whim. Your child's nervous breakdown was most likely caused by something frustrating. Autistic children do not throw tantrums because they want to engage in difficult behaviors, but because of a stressful event. They may try to let you know that they can't handle a situation, a stimulus, or a change in routine. The nervous breakdown could be caused by their frustration or be the last resort after other attempts at communication have failed.
Nervous crises can take many forms. They may manifest as screaming, crying, covering their ears, self-harming behaviors, and occasionally even aggressive gestures
Step 2. Find the way to make the family environment more comfortable for your child
Since nervous breakdowns are caused by accumulated stress, creating a more supportive environment helps reduce the stressors in your child's life.
- Follow a routine to give your child a sense of stability. Creating an agenda with images can help him visualize his routine.
- If you need to make changes to your child's routine, it is preferable that you prepare him properly by showing him pictures or telling him social stories. Explain to him why a change is needed, to help the child understand what he is going through and to deal with the situation calmly.
- Let your child distance themselves from stressful situations when appropriate.
Step 3. Teach your child about stress management techniques
Some autistic children don't understand how to manage their emotions and may need extra help. Compliment your child when she successfully practices stress management techniques.
- Have action plans for specific stressors (loud noises, crowded rooms, etc.)
- Teach him techniques to calm down: breathe deeply, count, take breaks, etc.
- Plan how the child might communicate his impatience to you when something is bothering him.
Step 4. Pay attention to when the child is stressed and do not underestimate his emotions
Treating his needs as natural and important will help him understand that it is important to express them to others.
- “I see that your face is contracted. Do loud noises bother you? I can ask your sisters to go play in the garden”.
- “You look angry today. Would you tell me why are you upset?"
Step 5. Set a good example for your child
He watches you when you are stressed and learns to imitate the way you deal with situations. By staying calm, expressing your emotions, and taking breaks when you feel the need, you will help your child behave the same way.
- Try to communicate your choices. “I am feeling upset right now, so I will give myself a short pause to breathe deeply. After return ".
- After you've adopted a certain attitude several times, your child will likely do the same.
Step 6. Create a quiet space for your baby
It is important to understand that it may encounter difficulties in processing and controlling sounds, smells and patterns. If your child receives too many stimuli at the same time, they may be stressed, overwhelmed and prone to nervous breakdowns. In such circumstances, a quiet room could help him calm down.
- Teach the child to tell you when he needs the silence room. He could point it out, show you an image that depicts the room, use sign language, make use of assisted communication or ask you verbally.
- For more tips on making a quiet room, do an online search.
Step 7. Keep a nervous breakdown diary
Keeping track of each time your child has a seizure can help you identify the reasons behind their behavior. Try to answer the following questions when recording your child's next nervous breakdown:
- What troubled the child? (Consider that he may have been building up the stress for hours.)
- What signs did it show?
- If you noticed the onset of stress, what did you do? Did your behavior prove effective?
- How could you prevent such a nervous breakdown in the future?
Step 8. Talk to him about his misconduct towards others
Remember that autism is not a valid justification for beating someone or being violent. If the child misbehaves, deal with him when he calms down. Explain that a certain attitude is not acceptable and tell him how he should behave.
“It's not fair that you hit your brother. I understand how upset I was, but this way you hurt people and it is not fair to hit others when you are angry. If you are angry, take a deep breath, take a break or tell me your problem”
Step 9. Get help from other people who care for your child during his or her nervous breakdowns
It has happened that autistic subjects have been traumatized (or even killed) by the intervention of the police. If you can't handle a nervous breakdown, get someone who can offer you their assistance.
Ask for police intervention only in extremely dangerous situations. The police could respond with violence, triggering PTSD and causing even more severe nervous breakdowns
Method 2 of 5: Manage Your Tantrums
Step 1. Evaluate how your behavior affects your child's whims
Children throw tantrums when they can't get what they want. Behaving badly, they hope that in the end they will win it. If you give in to your child's requests (for example, asking for ice cream or bathing and going to bed later), then he will understand that tantrums are a great way to get what he wants.
Step 2. Face his whims right away
It is much easier to solve the problem when the person with autism is still a child. For example, a six-year-old who rolls on the floor is easier to manage than a sixteen-year-old. They are also less likely to harm themselves or others.
Step 3. Ignore your child's whims
Ignore it when he yells, swears, and pouts. Your indifference will teach him that his behavior is not an effective way to get your attention. It helps to clearly express a message such as: "I can't understand the problem if you sulk. But if you calm down and explain to me what's wrong, I'm willing to listen to you."
Step 4. Take action if the child becomes aggressive or performs dangerous actions
Always take action if your child starts throwing things, stealing things that don't belong to them, or hitting others. Ask him to stop and then explain to him why his behavior is not correct.
Step 5. Encourage your child to behave better
Tell him he can choose to act in such a way that he gets the desired response. In this way you will help him understand the best way to get what he wants (or at least to get the attention of someone willing to listen to him or find a compromise).
For example, you might say to your child, "If you want me to help you, breathe deeply and tell me what's troubling you. I'm here if you need me."
Method 3 of 5: Use the Behavior Model A-B-C
Step 1. “Anticipate” the problem
Record (preferably in a diary) the precise moments when the child is prone to nervous breakdowns, for example before going out, before bathing, at bedtime, etc. Write down the A-B-C pattern (antecedents, behaviors, consequences) of the problematic behavior. Thanks to this system you will be able to analyze your child's behavior and understand how to avoid and deal with problems as they arise.
- Antecedents: what are the factors that triggered the nervous breakdown (time, date, place and happened)? How did these factors affect problem behavior? Were you doing something that hurt or upset the baby?
- Behaviors: what were the specific behaviors exhibited by the child?
- Aftermath: what were the consequences of the child's actions for the aforementioned behaviors? What happened to him?
Step 2. Use the A-B-C pattern to identify the triggers
Then use this information to teach your child to apply the "if-then" technique. For example, if he is upset that a peer broke a toy, then he should ask for help.
Step 3. Talk about your A-B-C register with a psychotherapist
Once you have gathered the information, you can share it with a therapist to give him a detailed picture of your child's behavior in some specific situations.
Method 4 of 5: Helping Your Child Communicate
Step 1. Help your child express their basic needs
If he can talk about what is bothering him, he is less likely to build up stress and assume the wrong attitudes. He must know how to say or communicate the following needs:
- "I am hungry".
- "I am tired".
- "I need a break, please."
- "It hurts".
Step 2. Teach your child to try to identify their emotions
Many autistic children fail to understand their emotions and it would be helpful for them to be able to point to images or recognize the physical signals associated with emotions. Explain to your child that by telling others how they feel (for example: "The grocery store scares me") allows them to help them solve problems (for example: "You can wait outside with your sister while I finish shopping. ").
Make it clear that if he talks to you, you will listen to him. In this way there will be no need to resort to whims
Step 3. Try to stay calm and be consistent
The child who tends to have nervous breakdowns needs a stable parenting figure, as well as a consistent attitude on the part of all those who care for him. You will not be able to make your child achieve self-control until you have achieved yours.
Step 4. Suppose your child wants to behave well
This approach is called "assuming skills", and it greatly improves the social skills of people with autism. They tend to confide in others if they feel respected.
Step 5. Explore other alternative communication systems
If an autistic child cannot express himself verbally, there are other ways that allow him to communicate. Try sign language, assisted communication, image exchange communication system, or anything else recommended by the psychotherapist.
Method 5 of 5: Try Other Strategies
Step 1. Know that your actions can affect your child's nervous breakdowns
For example, if you keep doing something that upsets him (such as exposing him to painful sensory stimuli or forcing him to do something against his will), he may become violent. Children have nervous breakdowns more often, when they believe that these are the only way to communicate their emotions and desires to their parents.
Step 2. Respect your child
Pushing him, ignoring his discomfort in certain contexts or physically holding him back is harmful. Don't compromise its autonomy.
- Of course, you can't always give in to his "no". If you are not going to please him, explain to him why: "It is important that you sit in the car seat so as not to take any risks. If we have an accident, the car seat will protect you."
- If something is bothering him, try to understand why and try to fix the problem. "Is the seat uncomfortable? Would you feel more comfortable sitting on a cushion?".
Step 3. Consider drug treatment
Drugs such as selective serotonin reabsorption inhibitors (SSRIs), antipsychotics and mood stabilizers may prove to be effective in treating children who show a greater tendency to aggression and agitation. However, like all other medicines, they can cause some side effects, so take some time to evaluate if they are the right choice.
Some studies have amply shown that a drug called Risperidone is quite effective in the short-term treatment of aggressive and self-harming behaviors in children with autism. Consult a doctor or psychotherapist to learn about the pros and cons of this drug
Step 4. See a therapist who can also help your child develop their communication skills
Make sure you contact someone who has some experience with autistic children. Your doctor or support groups for people with autism spectrum disorder may recommend a psychotherapist who is experienced in this disorder.
Step 5. Make your child's homework easier
For example, if they don't like getting dressed, break the assignment into a sequence of individual steps. This will help you understand your child's difficulties in carrying out a certain activity. Therefore, without saying a word, he will communicate his discomfort to you.
Step 6. Use social stories, picture books and games to teach him manners
The libraries are full of children's books, useful for acquiring various skills, but you can also pass on the skills through play.
For example, if one of your dolls is angry, you could set it aside so that it can breathe deeply. The child will learn that when people are angry they react this way
Step 7. Evaluate a reward system
Enlist the support of a specialist to work out a way to reward your child so that he or she is rewarded for keeping calm. Rewards could include praise ("You did a great job tackling that busy shop! You did great at breathing deeply"), golden stars on a calendar or material rewards. Help your child feel proud of his achievements.
Step 8. Offer your child lots of love and attention
If she can establish a strong bond with you, she will learn to reach out to you when she needs help and to listen to you.
Advice
- Be patient. While you can sometimes lose your temper, it is important that you are calm and in control so that your child also stays calm.
- Remember that autistic people don't like nervous breakdowns. Your child will likely feel embarrassed, ashamed, and apologize for losing control after a nervous breakdown.
- Involve your child in researching various coping strategies. This will help the child take control of the situation.
- Nervous crises are sometimes caused by sensory overload that occurs when a person with autism receives too much sensory input. This disorder can be treated with sensory integration therapy, which aims to reduce sensory perception and manage inputs.
