Bullying someone has long-term negative effects on both yourself and your victims. If you're used to hurting others intentionally, physically, verbally, or emotionally, it's time to break that pattern. The steps in this article will help you understand the reasons behind your bullying behavior and how to change it.
Steps
Method 1 of 3: Do a Consciousness Exam
Step 1. Try to understand what bullying is
If you do any of these things, then you are a bully.
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Verbal bullying is when you make fun of, monkeys, give bad nicknames, or insult someone.
Stop Being a Bully Step 1Bullet1 - Physical bullying is when you hit, push, pinch or kick, physically harm someone in any way.
- Emotional bullying is when you manipulate someone for your interest by making them feel guilty or taking away their power and security. This includes gossip, talking behind the back, isolating and excluding someone.
Step 2. Identify your insecurities
Many bullies do this because they have insecurities. Consider the following questions:
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Are you a bully to cover up your weakness? Putting someone under to hide their frailty is a very common reason for bullying.
Stop Being a Bully Step 2Bullet1 - Are you a bully to attract the attention of others? Maybe you are looking for your place in a difficult group setting by flexing your muscles.
- Are you making fun of someone else because of something you don't like about yourself? It is very common to bully someone who has a common trait with you that you don't like.
- Do you hurt others because you are unhappy with your life? Some turn against others when they feel they can do nothing to change their situation.
Step 3. Identify the bullying patterns in your life
Do you harm others because it was done to you? Sometimes bullies behave like this because they learned it from someone else. Think about how other people in your life cope with their insecurities and their sense of helplessness.
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If you are bullied at home, ask a professor, therapist or someone you trust for help and ask immediately.
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Step 4. Reflect on how bullying others makes you feel
What do you think while you are hurting someone else? If you can spot the pattern that activates when you lose control, you have a better chance of stopping this negative behavior.
Method 2 of 3: Take Control of Your Behavior
Step 1. Stop and think for a moment
If you bully because you have a temperament problem, learn to think before you act. For example, if someone says something that might make you lose your temper, take a deep breath and pause before responding.
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Remember that with your every action you make a decision to behave in a certain way. Your words and your attitudes are under YOUR control.
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Step 2. Stop hanging out with groups of people who reward you for mistreating someone
If you treat people badly to gain a certain status in a group, then the group has a very bad influence on you. You probably don't even want to harm others, but you have the impression that your "survival" depends on this. Stop hanging out with these people right away and don't bully anymore.
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If the group forces you to bully someone else, talk to someone you trust and who can help you handle the situation.
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Step 3. Learn to empathize with others
Maybe you are mean to others because you can't see things from their perspective. Try asking yourself how you would feel if someone hurt you like that.
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Spend time with people to get to know them better.
Stop Being a Bully Step 7Bullet1 - Remember that we are all the same: you are no better than others, and others are no better than you.
- Appreciate what makes each person unique, instead of judging them as being different.
Step 4. Get help from a professional
If you feel you cannot control your bullying behavior on your own, talk to a counselor or therapist about your problem. He will give you tips and techniques to change your attitude.
Method 3 of 3: Make Amends
Step 1. Apologize to the people you bullied
Once you have learned to control yourself, there is still a long way to go to regaining the trust of others. Start by apologizing to the people you hurt.
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Don't apologize if you're not being honest. Others will understand if your words are false.
Stop Being a Bully Step 9Bullet1 - If you have deeply hurt someone, there is a possibility that they do not want to talk to you. Respect their space, and accept that your relationship could be irreparably ruined.
Step 2. From now on, treat people with respect
Learn new ways to understand and relate to others until treating people with respect has become a habit. If angry thoughts still haunt you, remember to stop and think before you act. Focus on the things you have in common with others and appreciate their humanity. You can't control others, but you can control yourself.
Advice
- Avoid dating the wrong people. If your friends don't like your new attitude, then they're not real friends.
- Be an example for others. Be nice to bully targets so that everyone sees how wrong it is to bully them.
- Learn to compliment others rather than insult them. Always try to see the best in others, not the worst.
