If a lot of people call you melodramatic and you always find yourself upset, overly sensitive, or frustrated by the people around you, it may be time to change your attitude. You may think that being like this makes your life more interesting and gives you the attention you are looking for, but there are better ways to live a more meaningful and much less stressful life. If you want to know how to stop being melodramatic, read on for a change.
Steps
Method 1 of 3: Change Your Point of View
Step 1. Find out when you become melodramatic
One way to stop being that is to have the right awareness to know when you become the queen of melodrama. Do you always end up having conflicts with people and do you think it is difficult to get along with all the people around you? Do you find yourself overheating, crying, or getting stuck every day? In this case, unless you live in a war zone, a good deal of these dramas are likely to be created by you. Knowing that you are the source of so much suffering is the first step in keeping your attitude at bay.
Once you understand that you are the source, you will stop blaming the people around you and understand that you are in control of the situation
Step 2. Stop exaggerating everything that happens to you
If you are the queen of melodrama, then you have to be an expert at turning a quiet situation and triggering an earthquake. When you're experiencing a minor conflict or annoyance, take a minute to ask yourself if it's worth making a drama, and review the situation from a different perspective. Maybe your boyfriend arrived 10 minutes late for your appointment. Maybe you spilled some coffee on the sweater. Will this still matter in 10 hours, or in an hour? Is it worth complaining about? Is it worth ruining your day?
- These are important questions. You will likely understand that you are going on a tangent for nothing and will be able to move on without making drama.
- Overdoing every little thing will not help you feel good mentally. It will make you feel stressed, tired, and generally irritable. Remember that minimizing your problems will actually make you feel better.
- If you go crazy over all nonsense, then no one will take you seriously when something bad really happens to you.
Step 3. Make an effort to cultivate your self-esteem
A lot of times the queens of melodrama are like that due to low self-esteem. They may think that people pay attention to them or give them time only if they behave in a consistently dramatic and over the top way and speak ill of people. Ask yourself if you reflect yourself in this description and think about the image you have of yourself and how you really feel in your own skin. When you look in the mirror, what do you see? Work to appreciate the person you see, and don't think your self-esteem depends on the attention you get from others.
- Obviously, developing a certain degree of security takes time. The sooner you begin to understand that your self-esteem must arise from yourself, not from what people think of you, the sooner you will stop sparking conflicts for nothing.
- Really analyze yourself. Nobody's perfect. What are your flaws? What can you do to change or accept them?
- Part of feeling good about yourself is spending time with people who make you feel good. Do you know people like that? If everyone around you is just criticizing you, then you won't be able to feel good about yourself unless you walk away from them.
Step 4. Stop playing the victim
Feeling like you've been wronged causes a good portion of your drama. Do you think the world has treated you badly and that you deserve so much more than what you get? Of course this may be true in some cases, but it's unlikely everyone you know is determined to make your life hell. Instead, get stronger by remembering that your fate is in your hands. Don't say "I can't believe he did this to me" or "I can't believe it happened to me," he starts talking by saying something positive, like "I did a great thing today."
- Don't give people too much power. Instead of obsessing over what they did to you, work on making your life better.
- Ask yourself why you need to always have empathy. You don't really need all the attention you expect, do you? Sometimes you really need them to listen to you, so don't always take advantage of it just to get noticed.
Step 5. Live in the present
Melodramatic people tend to live in the past, obsessed with people's wrongs, quarrels, dramas, or situations that they wish they had gone differently. While remembering the past can be helpful because it helps you avoid repeating the same mistakes over and over, if you get caught up in it all the time you won't be able to live in the moment or move on. Living in the here and now, you won't worry too much about what they said to you or how hurt you felt by what they did to you. You won't even think about the people who now belong to your past.
Instead, do your best to have fun in the place you are now, whether it's with your friends or while taking a long walk. Don't obsess over the past and you'll soon find a way to have a much healthier mindset
Step 6. Write your thoughts in a journal
Talking about how you feel can help you really process what happened to you, deal with it emotionally, and take the time to manage your problems. It is much better to write down your difficulties than to talk to someone about them before you are ready, especially when you have the urge to tell everyone you meet. Writing will help you understand that this is not the end of the world, and that all these dramas are useless.
Try journaling at least once a day. For example, if you feel the need to talk to a friend about something that is bothering you, you could write about this conflict before talking to her so you can calm down
Step 7. Remind yourself that it's almost never the end of the world
The queens of melodrama tend to think that almost anything can make them angry and lead them to make a scene. However, this is almost never the case. Sure, you hate it when people tell you, “It's not the end of the world,” but sometimes you have to repeat that phrase to yourself, especially when you have such a situation. For example, imagine that an exam went wrong: ask yourself if it will ruin or negatively affect your life in the long run, and answer truthfully. The answer will almost never be yes. Think about it the next time you feel anger boiling or you have tears in your eyes.
Method 2 of 3: Change Your Actions
Step 1. Don't be touched by other people's dramas
Although you are the only melodramatic in your circle of friends, chances are she knows people who are similar to you, or who love to talk about their own dramas for a long time. Don't let them get you involved, upset, or angry for no reason. If someone is acting melodramatically when they're with you, tell them they better calm down, that it's not the end of the world, and that they can move on; don't let it affect how you feel. But if someone comes to you to argue, make you nervous, or complain about a trifle, the best thing to do is ignore them.
Getting involved in a fight is your choice. If someone wants to talk to you about something, insist that you only listen to them once they have calmed down and that it can be reasonably discussed
Step 2. Get rid of the unhealthy relationships you have right now
Some people love melodrama so much that they always find themselves in relationships full of quarrels, tears or, in general, tense atmospheres. If this happens to you often, then you have to ask yourself why you need this person in your life. Maybe you like dramas more than the person himself, whose sole purpose is to feed them. Instead, cultivate relationships - friendship or romance - that make you happy, satisfied, and at peace with yourself, at least in most cases.
- You may, of course, still feel attracted to over-the-top people. The next time you come across one like this, ask yourself if it's really worth it.
- This also applies to friendships. Stop hanging out with your enemy-friends just to have something to complain about or get nervous about. Only keep friendships with the people you really care about.
Step 3. Take some time to calm down when you need it
Another move you can take to avoid being a melodrama queen is to be able to recognize the "triggers". If they tell you something that makes your blood boil, try to control yourself so as not to lose your temper, and apologize for a minute. It might seem unnatural, but it's a great way to give yourself some time and evaluate the situation, and avoid saying something you'll regret. Go for a short walk or have a glass of water in the other room. Say you need time to rethink what happened. By managing to take a moment for yourself, you will be able to handle the situation in a rational and calm way.
Be honest with yourself. You may think that you are ready to handle a situation, but then you realize that your hands are shaking, that you are stamping your foot nervously on the floor or that the temperature is rising. In this case, you need more time
Step 4. Find something positive to do
It may sound foolish to you, but many times people create dramas out of thin air simply because they are bored! You are alone at home, the season of the show you are watching is boring, your siblings are not there and you have no one to annoy or talk to … Suddenly, you are reminded of that comment your friend made while you were in school, and you get angry, you lose the light of reason, ending up posting a passive-aggressive post on Facebook. Does it happen often? Then you simply have to find more meaningful things to do in your spare time. Soon you won't even have time to do so many dramas. Here are some ideas:
- Pick a new hobby, like painting or writing poetry. You will find that it is a much more productive way to use your energies.
- Volunteer. Making time for people who really need help reminds you that you should be grateful for your life, instead of complaining about everything.
- Even if you don't think you're the type to make drama when bored, finding something to do can still help.
Step 5. Not everything concerns you
Melodramaticians are known for spinning everything around them. When people try to tell their problem, they tend to say "But what happened to me is much worse" or "Exactly the same thing happened to me when …". While it's good to try to connect with others, it's not okay to turn every situation into a problem with you. People will quickly get fed up and think you are desperate for attention. He will realize that it is useless to confide in you something.
Instead, work hard to respect others, recognizing that they too have problems (and sometimes drama!)
Step 6. Think before you speak
The queens of melodrama have another bad habit: they react on impulse, making rude and insensitive comments just because they are the first thing that comes to their mind. What you need to do, once again, is calm down. Before you say something, ask yourself if you really mean it, or if you regret it 5 minutes later. You may want to insult your best friend, boyfriend or sister in the moment, but you will probably want to take it back later. Instead, take some time to think about what you are going to say and ask yourself if it is actually a constructive comment or if it is only meant to hurt others.
Don't be afraid to say "Wait a minute, I need a minute to figure out how to react."
Step 7. Trust a good friend, not everyone
Melodramatic women love to broadcast their problems live nationally and tell everyone about them. Not only is it rude to let off steam to the butcher, baker, and supermarket clerk - people will quickly tire of your complaints. If something is getting on your nerves, you should talk to your best friend, mother, or other trusted person about it. This will help you look at everything from another point of view, letting anger emerge and making you avoid telling your own business in front of the whole class or your team.
Talking to someone who loves you right away will help you understand that you don't have to tell everyone something as soon as it happens just because you want to take a weight off your chest. Instead, learn to be patient. Opening your mouth without thinking first won't help you solve anything
Step 8. Get the attention of others for something positive instead of your own dramas
Many melodramatic people are like that simply because they want others to pay attention to them. Well, if you want to be looked at by others, why don't you do it for positive action instead? Give it your all when playing with your team. Play Desdemona in a heartfelt way when your theater group stages the Othello. Write a great article for the school newspaper. Do what makes you feel good, and people will naturally feel attracted to you, they won't be bothered by all your tears and exaggerations.
Think about it for a moment: if you like to have people pay attention to you when you behave in a melodramatic way, then you need to seriously put in the effort and find a positive outlet to channel your energy
Method 3 of 3: Treat Others with Respect
Step 1. Be honest and open with others
This may seem impossible if you are used to dealing with problems by talking about the people who get on your nerves rather than addressing them directly. However, you need to know that this will get you nowhere. When you have a real conflict, take time to discuss it with the person concerned; do it in an open and honest way, to encourage communication. This doesn't mean you should tell her all the things that go through your head, especially if they're offensive, but that you should have a constructive conversation, as long as you want to fix the problem.
- Take a moment to calm down and discuss the problem in a rational way, instead of getting carried away by the anger of the moment.
- Of course, it's easier to just complain about this person. However, if you face the problem directly, he will respect you more and you will improve your relationship.
- Take some time to listen to it. Don't just tell her everything you hear, expecting her to have nothing to say.
Step 2. Don't gossip
The queens of melodrama can't do anything about it. They love gossip more than Perez Hilton. If they hear some luscious gossip, they can't wait to share it with their 3,000 friends on Facebook. However, if you want to curb this, one of the easiest moves is to stop gossiping about others. The less you do it, the more they will respect you, and the less it will backfire on you. It can be difficult to break this habit, but once you do, you will feel grateful for all the positivity that will flow into your life as a result.
Instead of talking about the people behind them, start praising them when they're not around. This will make you and those around you feel better
Step 3. Don't raise your voice
Melodramatic people love to scream or even just talk louder than everyone else so they can be heard clearly. Here is another vice to take away. When you find yourself raising your voice too much, breathe deeply three times, and make sure that the tone and volume match those of the people around you. Don't think you don't have the ability to be more discreet: everyone has it.
By lowering their voices, people will enjoy spending more time with you. Nobody likes to hang out with people who dominate the conversation
Step 4. Don't give people unsympathetic nicknames and don't offend them by being carried away by the impulse
What's the point? You will feel good for five seconds, then you will want to be swallowed by the earth. Would you like to be insulted? What if they gave you offensive nicknames? If so, then you have a problem. You have to say constructive things to others, only then can you resolve a conflict. And if you end up making a comment that you regret later, apologize.
Step 5. Think about your own business
You already have enough personal dramas to get involved with those of other people, right? Don't fret over the attitude your sister's boyfriend has or your friend's cousin dented her car. Think about your problems, don't poke your nose into what doesn't belong to you. Melodramas love to feed other people's dramas because they feel they have boring lives; if you find fun things to do in your spare time, then it won't happen to you again.
Step 6. Try to listen to others
The queens of melodrama are so busy with themselves and everything that happens in their lives that they don't bother to listen to others. When someone tells you something, look them in the eye, really pay attention to their words, and don't interrupt. Hang out with people who are important to you, help them when they need it, and don't consider them sounding boards for babbling about your problems. Everyone you know has difficulties, dreams and goals, and you should treat them as your fellow man, not as if they were people who should think only and exclusively about you.
Everyone is looking for good listeners, an increasingly rare type of person. If you learn to really listen to others, in the meantime you will become a better friend, and a better person. By recognizing that others have problems too, you will understand that your plays aren't all that dramatic after all
Advice
- Don't change out of the blue: people will have a hard time recognizing you. Proceed slowly, also because you have to fully understand what you are doing.
- Try to help others. For example, if a girl falls down the stairs, give her a hand to get up. This way, people will understand that you have a good side, and that you are trying to change.
- Ask people who know you and trust what you should do to change. You can say “Hey (person's name), I want to change to please others. Do you have any suggestions for me? ". In this way, you can combine the advice of this article with those of a person who knows you well.
