If you are dating a woman older than you, for sure a lot of fun emotions, adventures and experiences await you. If you are nervous and do not know how to behave well, remember that the most important aspect is to have confidence in yourself and not to overestimate the importance of the age difference. Calm down, relax and enjoy your relationship, just like you would with your peer.
Steps
Method 1 of 3: Make She Want You
Step 1. Give yourself confidence
If you really want to date an older woman, you need to be very confident. If you have low self-esteem or think you can't bear the brunt of a romantic relationship, dating an older woman may be too complicated. Women dating younger men aren't looking for a new child or someone to babysit; they want a man who knows who he is, no matter his age. If you don't think you don't trust yourself enough, make a commitment to love yourself for who you are while trying to correct your flaws.
- Avoid being too critical of yourself or making negative comments about yourself too often. Focus on the sides of you that you value.
- Accept new challenges with enthusiasm, instead of starting to make excuses not to even try.
- Try to exude confidence with your body language too. Keep your back straight, make eye contact, smile and try not to fidget.
- Sure, it may take a long time to develop good self-esteem, but you can always take small steps to correct the flaws you can change and accept the ones you can't change. Make a list of the aspects of your character that you don't like, and try to expand this list as you go.
- Much of having confidence in yourself comes from making friends with people who make you feel good about yourself; if your friends continue to criticize you, it will be harder to be sure of you.
Step 2. Impress her with your independence
Older women don't want little dogs to follow them everywhere; they want men with their friends, their interests and their goals. Make sure your life isn't all about her, so you can have time to dedicate to her but without feeling the need to see her 24 hours a day. If she has the impression of being the center of your existence, she could back down.
- Having your own interests, goals and passions is also a sign of maturity and personal growth. If you don't have a lot of interests aside from video games, an older woman won't be pushed to think that you are a mature and dynamic person.
- Keep spending time with your friends whenever you can. You don't have to drop everything to go out with her. Show her that your friends are important to you.
- Try not to be jealous. If you keep asking her where she has been or how she is spending her time, she may think that you are not mature enough to trust her.
Step 3. Take control when you can
Don't try to dominate her, but don't be completely passive and don't go along with everything she says just because you're younger. Even if she has some specific ideas about what you should do when you are together, be sure to make your opinion heard; don't push her to think that being with you is too tiring and that she always has to do everything. Have a personal opinion on where to go for dinner, what movie to see and what activities to do together.
- Take turns deciding what to do on your appointments. Just because she's older doesn't mean she'll have to decide everything.
- If you were to kiss or become more intimate, feel free to take the initiative. Don't make her think you're too shy to try.
- Although, by taking the initiative from time to time, you can show her that you are more mature than your years, you will need to be available to ask her opinion when you don't really know how to behave. Being able to admit that you don't know something is an important sign of maturity.
Step 4. Use age to your advantage
Don't consider age difference as a handicap that prevents you from enjoying your relationship with an older woman. After all, there was a reason she wanted to date a younger man, right? It is possible that you make up for what you lack in experience and knowledge in enthusiasm, energy and positivity. Show her that dating a younger man has several benefits.
- Amaze her with your energy and your ability to try new things. Don't be skeptical when it comes to feeling something you've never even heard of; throw yourself into new opportunities when they arise.
- Even if you haven't had many experiences yet, you can talk to her about all the things you can't wait to try.
- Don't say phrases like “I'm only eighteen, but…”. Don't present your age as a disadvantage.
Step 5. Don't worry too much about his age
One behavior to avoid if you want to have a successful relationship with an older woman is to worry too much about the age difference. While some women like to talk about it, others don't like being considered "older" at all and just want to enjoy a relationship in their own way.
- It is certainly not advisable to insult - even unintentionally - the woman you are dating; unless she is the one talking about it, don't bring the talk about her age.
- Overestimating the importance of her age will make her think that you don't feel like going out with a woman with more experience than you. You may seem insecure.
Step 6. Don't change too much for her
You may think that, in order to have a successful relationship with an older woman, you should first completely change your personality. If you change too much, however, the woman may no longer find the characteristics that led her to be interested in you at the beginning of your story. Even if you can commit to gaining experience, becoming more mature and being independent within the relationship, don't change so much that she no longer recognizes the guy who asked her out.
- The important thing is that she likes you for who you are, not for the refined and elegant person you pretended to be. If you don't feel more true to your personality, now is the time to stop.
- If you really want to be in a meaningful relationship with an older woman, don't hide the important sides of your character just to look more mature. Show her who you really are.
Method 2 of 3: Being a Wonderful Boyfriend
Step 1. Be a gentleman
If you want to successfully date an older woman you will need to be a true gentleman. You certainly do not want to make her think that you are a rude person who does not know how to behave with a lady! But also consider that some women think that some “gentleman's” actions are out of date, such as holding the door open or seating a lady's chair, so first try to understand how the woman you're dating feels. But keep in mind that it never hurts to be polite, have good manners and avoid talking about vulgar subjects. To be a true gentleman, the important thing is to respect it.
- Show up on time for appointments and, occasionally, give her a small gift.
- Try to look after yourself before going out with her. Let her know that you think it's worth it.
- Give her lots of compliments to show how beautiful and awesome you think she is in many ways.
- Also treat those around you with respect. Being polite to waiters, friends and strangers will show that you are a really polite person and that you are not just pretending to impress.
Step 2. Don't worry about your lack of experience
Of course, the woman you're dating is more experienced than you and will likely have been with more people. This does not mean that you will have to talk about it all the time or that you have to worry about not being up to par. If she's more experienced in the bedroom than you are, great - enjoy what she can teach you. Don't focus on her past and just think about enjoying the moments you are living with her in the present.
- If you want to be a good boyfriend, try not to bring the talk about your lack of experience. She might get embarrassed and you might seem insecure.
- When it's time to deepen your intimacy, don't worry if you don't have much experience. If you allow yourself to be obsessed with this aspect, you will not be able to enjoy the moment.
Step 3. Be assertive
Be a man who knows what he wants and isn't afraid to ask. If you're always going to be indecisive, thoughtful, and insecure when it comes to expressing what you really think, an older woman may be looking for someone more mature. Feel comfortable telling her what you'd like to do when you go out, don't be afraid to let her know she hurt you, and don't hesitate to express what you really want.
- To be truly confident, try to speak in a loud, clear voice. If you speak too softly and stammer, you won't be able to sound really convinced.
- While it's not respectful to interrupt her when she talks, don't be afraid to express what you think when it's your turn.
Step 4. Be mature
Even if you may not be the most mature man in the world, you can certainly strive to improve from this point of view. Try not to throw a tantrum, don't get angry about nonsense, and don't let her know that you have no idea how to behave. Try to look comfortable and inform yourself if you don't know how to behave in a given situation. Learn to be polite to others and treat them with respect, instead of always thinking about yourself first. An older woman will want a man who is mature enough for her.
- Avoid complaining or whining about trivial matters. It is a sign of a profound lack of maturity.
- Avoid childish habits, such as biting your nails, making fun of people, or arguing with your relatives.
- Don't get angry or lose your temper when things don't go your way.
Step 5. Keep a fun and light attitude
The woman you're dating has probably had enough of the seriousness of older men. Show her that you are different by adopting an upbeat, fun, and light attitude so that you can enjoy your moments together. Minimize serious talk and conversations about the future. Focus on enjoying the relationship in the present instead of thinking about what will happen next.
- Keep the conversation on fun, light topics and make her laugh. Show her how fun you can be.
- Of course, when you're ready, you can open up to her and talk to her about deeper topics. In general, though, try not to be too serious.
Step 6. Don't keep talking about the age difference
If you want to make your relationship last, don't bring up every second of the fact that she is older than you. Let her know that you want her for who she is, not because you think it's exciting to date an older woman. If you keep talking about it, he may start to doubt how you feel.
If she talks about it to play it down, be ready to laugh too. If he doesn't talk about it, however, don't do it yourself
Method 3 of 3: Making the Relationship Last
Step 1. Be interested in who she really is
If you want to have a long-lasting and successful relationship with an older woman, don't just think of her as the sexiest woman you've ever dated in your life. Commit to getting to know her for what she really is, and remember that age is just a question of numbers. Let her know that you are interested in meeting her and that you value the time you spend together. Here's how to do it:
- Really listen to her when she wants to talk to you. Put your phone away, make eye contact and don't interrupt her.
- Ask her about her childhood, her job, her friends, her family, and her interests. Let her know that you want to know everything about her.
- Make yourself heard even when you are not together, to show her that you care about how her days go and that you are thinking about her.
- Give her compliments that let her know that she is truly special to you. Don't just tell her how beautiful she is; appreciates his sense of humor or other aspects of his personality that really matter.
Step 2. Leave her space
If you want the relationship to last, don't be too clingy. You will need to respect the fact that she is independent and has a life beyond you, such as hours spent at work, evenings with friends or the time she devotes to her hobbies, whether it's yoga, writing poetry or cooking.. Don't be addicted to her and don't ask her to be with you all the time, try to appreciate the fact that she has a life outside of your history.
- Interested in what he does when you are not together. Ask her about her friends, her job, and her hobbies to show her that you really care.
- Speak up when you're not together, but don't call her three times in a row when she's out with friends; don't make her think that you don't have a personal life or that you are jealous.
Step 3. Learn to have a conversation
If you want your relationship to last, you need to be able to have a real conversation with her. Do not make her think that she is the one who has to hold the conversation or that you do not have a personal opinion with which to contribute. Let her know that you are thoughtful, mature, and deep if you want her to continue to be interested in you.
- Learn about politics, what's happening in the world and what's new at the moment. If it does lead the conversation to a news story, you certainly don't want to let her know that you have no idea what it is referring to.
- Talk about your experiences, such as your childhood memories or travels you took. Don't think your experiences aren't worth it just because you're younger.
- If something interesting happened to you during the day, don't be afraid to share it. Don't think that you always have to be serious just because you are with a mature woman.
- Try not to talk about topics that make you seem smaller. If you have had a fight with your roommate for stupid reasons or have had to beg your parents to give you money, it is best to avoid talking about it.
Step 4. Don't fall into the routine
If you want your relationship to last, don't keep doing the same things every time you go out. Go in search of new restaurants to try, new places to visit and new activities to experience together, from taking salsa lessons to preparing a one-on-one dinner. If you were to rest on your laurels and keep repeating the same things day after day, it might seem boring; an older, more experienced woman might want something more.
- While it's great to create your own traditions as a couple, try not to fall into the same routine day after day. Do something new at least once a week.
- Write her a love letter telling her how important she is to you and explaining the reasons why you think it. Don't think that romance has to die just because you've been together for a while.
- Be spontaneous. Offer her a weekend out just the day before, or take her on a surprise date to do something she's always wanted to do, like go climbing.
Step 5. Find out if your relationship is made to last
When you've been dating for a while, she starts wondering if she's the right one. If you feel like you've completely forgotten the age difference and realize that your relationship is meaningful, fun, and fulfilled, hats off. If, on the other hand, you were to think that the most exciting aspect of your relationship was the age difference and that you are no longer involved as before, it is time for a change.
- If dating an older woman was just a new experience for you, you may not be with her for the right reasons.
- Be honest with yourself. If she wants more than you feel willing to offer her, it may be time to go your own way.
- If, on the other hand, you are having a wonderful time, keep enjoying your great relationship for as long as you want.
