We all feel emotions; some are easy to manage, such as joy or happiness, while others, such as fear, anger, or sadness, are more difficult to cope with. Whether you have to deal with anger, depression or frustration, it is important to be able to deal with any kind of emotion that causes us pain in the immediate and long term.
Steps
Method 1 of 2: Dealing with Complicated Emotions in the Moment
Step 1. Identify the emotion you are feeling
Identifying a specific emotion can be more difficult than you think. If you are in trouble, start with the four primary categories: anxiety, sadness, anger and joy. By just identifying exactly what you are feeling, you can begin to take away the power of the emotion as you reflect on its causes. Although varying in intensity, most sensations can be traced back to one of these categories.
- Anxiety often takes the form of "what if" questions: "What if I'm not okay?", "What if they don't accept me?" and similar.
- Sadness occurs when we focus on events that we cannot change, such as death or loss.
- Anger is the response to an attack - to our values, for example.
- Joy is a positive thought that often occurs as a result of an achievement - for example, from a compliment received from a friend, or a gratification, such as a promotion at work.
Step 2. Try some relaxation techniques through the breath
Taking some immediate action is one of the most used strategies for managing your emotions. It can help to focus on something else you can control - like your breathing, in this case. Research has shown that practicing breath control has a positive impact on the stress response and fight or flight response.
- For example, a simple technique is to count to five as you exhale, hold your breath for five beats, then exhale another five beats, focusing on each phase of your breathing.
- Another way to focus on your breath is to use an inflatable balloon - blow into the balloon to inflate it and watch it deflate.
Step 3. Try a self-relaxation technique
Self-relaxation techniques are another way to focus on something other than a complicated emotion. To improve your mood you can try, for example, the technique of the five senses. Sit in a comfortable position and focus on your breathing, then isolate each of the five senses by taking a minute to each and focusing on the sensations each one gives you. Take a cue from the following tips:
- Hearing: what sounds surround you? Focus on sounds coming from outside, such as the noise of cars, the chatter of people and the chirping of birds. So focus on the noises that come from inside your body, such as that caused by your breathing or digestive process. While you are focused on listening, do you notice anything that you had previously missed?
- Smell: what smells do you perceive? Is there any food near you or are there flowers outside? You may notice smells you may not have noticed before, such as that of the paper in the open book next to you. Try closing your eyes - it can help decrease visual distractions.
- Sight - what do you see? Take note of details such as colors, patterns, shapes and fabrics. Look for possible variations in color shades in objects around you that you may not have noticed previously.
- Taste: what taste do you feel? Even if you're not eating, you can still sense a taste. Try to catch the aftertaste left by a drink or a meal you have consumed by running your tongue over your teeth and inside your cheeks to gain greater awareness.
- Touch: What do you feel when you touch without moving from your position? Dwell on the feel of the clothes, chair or floor on your skin. With your fingers, touch your clothes or the chair and focus on the sensations you feel.
Step 4. Try progressive muscle relaxation (RMP)
It is a technique that consists of tensioning and then relaxing different muscle groups. Among its benefits is the ability to become more aware of the sensations in your body. Start with your toes and work your way up towards your head, isolating different muscle groups from time to time.
- Stretch each muscle group for five seconds, then take thirty seconds to relax.
- You can also use your imagination to help you through the process. For example, to help tighten your facial muscles, imagine eating a lemon or something sweeter to relax them.
Step 5. Try meditation or prayer techniques
Meditation has been shown to help increase positive emotions, satisfaction, health and happiness. It also decreases anxiety, stress and depression. There are different types of meditation, but the ultimate goal of each is to calm the mind.
To begin, sit in a comfortable position. Focus on a single element, such as the flame of a candle, the repetition of a word or a prayer, or count the beads of a rosary. As you concentrate your mind will begin to wander: let go of your thoughts and bring your attention back to the starting element. While it may seem simple, focusing your mind is a daunting task, so don't be disappointed if you only succeed for a few minutes at first
Step 6. Try to throw away negative thinking
Some people find it helpful to write down their negative emotion on paper as they analyze it. The material action of throwing away the sheet on which the emotion is written can contribute to letting it go also from a mental point of view. While this is a symbolic gesture, associating a material and controllable action with letting go of a negative emotion can help you.
Step 7. Use a positive image
You may find it easier to interrupt a negative stream of thoughts by replacing it with a positive image. This technique can be especially useful if you are fixating on a memory that has a heavy emotional impact. Start with a positive and reassuring image or mental picture: it can be a memory or even a place. Think of a moment, a situation, a point in that place that can make you feel calm and happy.
- Try to remember every single detail related to the memory or place in question. Concentrate on bringing all five senses back to that precise point by analyzing the sounds, smells and other sensations you experience.
- Some people find it useful to carry with them, in their wallet or purse, a concrete image that helps them to recover the memory in their time of need.
Step 8. Talk to a friend
Being alone with your sad or painful emotions can create a sounding board within which you cannot help but be obsessed with the emotion in question. If any of your closest friends are available, look for them. Emotions, including happiness, are contagious - an upbeat friend may be just what you need to unwind.
Method 2 of 2: Long-Term Gimmicks for Managing Emotions
Step 1. Keep a journal
Many find it a useful method for unraveling and analyzing the most difficult emotions. Sometimes the difficult aspect of an emotion is simply feeling unable to express it. Write down what happened, how you feel, and the duration and intensity of the emotion - often, just organizing your thoughts in a journal entry is a good start for analysis.
Step 2. Identify the cause of your emotions
Once you start taking note of your emotions, you may find recurring patterns that you hadn't previously noticed in the triggers. Try to identify the cause of each emotion. If you recognize common causes, ask yourself what changes you could make to eliminate them or reduce their impact on you.
Step 3. Test your negative thoughts
People tend to get desperate because of their difficult emotions and to elaborate negative thoughts about them that are simply not likely. By isolating and analyzing such thoughts, you can stop the chain reaction generated by emotion. Testing and correcting your thoughts can take time and patience, but you can start by asking yourself:
- Is this thought likely?
- If you think it is, what are the facts that support your opinion?
- What are your reactions to negative thoughts?
- What effects on your actions or behavior could you experience if you didn't have that thought?
Step 4. Use techniques to stop thinking
Once you are familiar with the process of analyzing your negative thoughts, you can also begin to recognize the patterns associated with them. This way you can simply break the negative cycle and replace it with more positive or productive thoughts.
You can start with a verbal interruption (for example by telling yourself to get out of it) or even using a material sign (like a rubber band on your wrist) when you recognize negative thinking. Recognizing its presence will help you eliminate it
Step 5. Sublimate your difficult emotions
Turn your attention to your favorite pastimes in times of difficult emotions: using feelings as a channel to express creativity and artistic talent is the process known as sublimation. There is a lot of energy in difficult emotions - channeling it into projects, skills, and other positive outlets can help you manage it productively.
Step 6. Seek help from your support network
Don't try to hold the world on your shoulders - talking to someone you trust can relieve any kind of complicated emotion or negative thought you may have. This person may even find a solution to your problem or provide you with a way to deal with it that you haven't thought of. Hiding your worries will always create more problems than it can ever solve. Seek help from your closest friends, your partner, family members, or a professional therapist or counselor if other methods have not been effective.
Step 7. Talk to a professional
If the lasting strain you've had to endure dealing with a difficult emotion has left you feeling withdrawn or overwhelmed, it may be time to seek advice from an experienced counselor or therapist. A professional can also be a good alternative if your emotions originate from something you prefer not to share with your friends or family. Your therapist will be able to listen to you, helpful tips, and additional tools and resources to help you manage your emotions.
If the counselor feels that taking medicines might be helpful during treatment, he or she will be able to provide you with a prescription or direct you to someone who can
Advice
- Find a relaxing place in your home, such as the bedroom, study or living room. Choose a space that has a calming atmosphere and something comfortable for you to relax on.
- Leave the house regularly. Social interactions are one of the best ways to reduce the intensity of difficult emotions.
