How long has it been since you had your last beautiful and liberating cry? Crying actually makes you feel better right away, because it's the body's way of getting rid of stress. However, if it's been months or even years since you cried the last time, it can be hard to remember how to start. Go to a quiet place, remove distractions and allow yourself to deeply experience the emotions to put you in the right mood. Read on to learn which techniques will help your tears flow freely.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Let the Tears Flow
Step 1. Find a suitable place to cry
Most people who have a hard time crying prefer to release their emotions in solitude, away from others. It can be easier to let off steam when you don't need to worry about what others might think. There's nothing wrong with crying in front of others, but you may be more comfortable alone, at least in the early days.
- The bedroom can be a great solution, as long as it is a quiet and private place.
- If there are many people living in the house, take the car and go to a quiet and private environment where you can cry in the car. However, make sure you can drive both outward and backward - crying while driving can be dangerous.
- You can even cry in the shower, no one will hear you.
- Being away from home could help you clear your mind and process your emotions. Look for a private place, in a park or on the beach.
Step 2. Clear your head of distractions
Many people put their feelings aside and dive into a thousand distractions so as not to cry. This technique is so effective that it is possible to go months or years without crying. Do you usually turn on the television at the first sign of sadness and spend the evening laughing in front of your favorite show? The next time you start feeling a little down, resist this urge and give yourself a chance to get in touch with your emotions. This is the first step to be able to make a good liberating cry.
There are many other types of distraction. You can stay at work late in the evening, spend all your free time hanging out with friends rather than just being alone, or reading articles on the Internet until you fall asleep. Pay attention to what you normally do when you don't want to listen to your emotions and try to stop by focusing on your mood instead
Step 3. Deeply analyze what makes you sad
Instead of letting your thoughts distract you with something less important, focus on the main emotions bubbling up in your head. Examine them rather than chase them away.
- If you are sad, think about the situation from which your feelings arose. Think about how much you wish it hadn't happened, what your life was like before it happened, and what it will be like from now on. Give yourself the time, the way to understand and metabolize the loss of what could have been.
- Beyond the strong emotion that is pushing you to cry, the important thing is to live it, allowing it to occupy a relevant place in your mind. Think about how stressful it is and the relief you might get if the problem goes away.
Step 4. Let your emotions mount to the point of tears
Are you starting to feel your throat tighten a bit? Don't hold back and don't force yourself not to think about the reason that makes you sad. Rather let yourself be overwhelmed by emotions. Keep focusing on what you wish had never happened, and when the tears start to flow, don't stop them.
Once you really start crying, it will probably be hard to stop. Keep shedding tears until you've "thrown it all out". You will understand when you stop. On average, a cry lasts about 6 minutes.
Step 5. Try to get better
When you are done crying, observe how you feel. As happens to most people, you will notice that your mind is a little freer from the emotion that was overwhelming you. You won't feel happy right away, but you will likely be calmer, less anxious, and ready to deal with your problems. Try to keep this state of mind and make a habit of crying whenever you want. With practice it will get easier.
- According to a study, 85% of women and 73% of men report feeling better after crying.
- If you feel unwell after crying, try to figure out why. It can be difficult to shake off years of prejudice that crying is a sign of weakness and the like. If you feel embarrassed because you have let yourself go to tears, try to remember that, in reality, it is a completely healthy and natural attitude.
Part 2 of 3: Feeling Comfortable Crying
Step 1. Forget everything you have learned about crying
Did they teach you that those who are brave don't cry? People who have been educated to hold onto emotions as adults have a lot of difficulty expressing them. Still, crying is a necessary part of life that actually promotes good mental health. Crying can be an expression of sadness, pain, fear, joy or simply pure emotion and is a healthy and natural way to release the emotions that run through the body.
- Men tend to have more trouble letting go of emotions than women, especially since they have always been used and educated not to express their feelings. However, crying is as natural for men as it is for women, even if the former do so less often. Both males and females cry indifferently the same times until the age of 12. When they become adults, however, men cry 7 times a year on average, while women cry 47 times.
- Crying is by no means a sign of weakness. It is just an emotional expression that has nothing to do with decision making. You can still take bold action, even if you cry first. Indeed, crying helps to process emotions and to think more clearly about the problem you are facing.
- Contrary to what you may have heard, crying is not the prerogative of babies. The latter are more likely to cry because they have not yet internalized the idea that crying is "wrong". However, this need does not go away as we grow up.
Step 2. Evaluate the benefits of crying
Crying is one way people relieve emotional tension. It is a rather natural bodily function that is activated as a result of the emotions that are felt and that must be vented. Interestingly, humans are the only mammals that produce tears to express their emotions. Crying is actually a survival mechanism that helps us in the following ways:
- Relieves Stress and lowers blood pressure. Over time, intense stress and high blood pressure are likely to cause serious health problems, so crying helps to limit them at least in part.
- It is a way to eliminate toxins that accumulate when you are angry. Some chemicals build up in the body in case of stress. Crying helps to expel them through tears, especially in tears of emotion, unlike those caused by irritation.
- Improve the mood immediately after. It is not just a belief, but a scientific fact. When you cry, the manganese level goes down. It is the buildup of this mineral that causes stress and anxiety, so crying is a natural way to relieve emotional pain.
Step 3. Find out why you hold everything inside
Now that you know all the positive mechanisms that occur when you cry, think about what can happen if you stop the tears from flowing freely. If it's been a long time since you were able to let off steam by crying, you may need to make a conscious effort to release your emotions through tears.
- Do you have a negative idea of crying? If so, try to change your mind and consider that there's nothing wrong with crying - it's only good for you.
- Do you generally find it difficult to express your feelings? It would be a good start if you allowed yourself to cry. If you are able to process what you feel in this way, you will have a chance to get in touch with your emotions.
- When you repress your feelings and hold back the tears, know that what you are feeling will not go away. In fact, you may get angry or numb.
Step 4. Allow yourself to cry
Crying gives you a chance to take better care of yourself and respect what you feel, instead of denying it and holding it back inside. When you cry, give yourself the opportunity to express who you are. This emotional freedom has a positive effect on mental health.
- If you have trouble expressing your emotions, think back to when you were a child. Reflect on how much freedom you had, at that time, to be yourself, to be able to cry when you felt sad because it was time to play, or when you fell off your bike and peeled your knees. The events that can lead you to cry as an adult are certainly different from those that made you burst into tears when you were a child, but you can still try to regain that sense of emotional freedom.
- It can also be helpful to think about how you treat others when they cry. Do you suggest we stop and hold back the tears? When your best friend feels dejected and starts crying, you probably want to hug him and encourage him to release all the emotions he is feeling. If you give yourself the same kindness, instead of censoring yourself, it can be easier to cry.
Part 3 of 3: Using Techniques to Stimulate Crying
Step 1. Look at the old photos
It's a surefire way to bring tears down, especially if you miss someone in particular, your family, or are sad that life has changed so much. Browse an old photo album or look at them on your computer, scroll through them one by one for as long as you want. Remember the good times you spent with the people portrayed or how much you loved a particular place.
Step 2. Watch a moving movie
It can be very cathartic to watch a movie with a plot that is so sad it makes you cry. Even if the story tells a completely different situation than yours, watching the characters go through difficult times and cry could help you unleash your tears. When you start crying during a movie, think about your situation so you can process how you feel about your life. If you need some heartwarming movie tips, try these titles:
- Steel flowers;
- Sublime love;
- The waves of fate;
- Blue Valentine;
- Rudy - The success of a dream;
- The green mile;
- Schindler's List;
- Inside Out;
- Titanic;
- The boy in the striped pajamas;
- Dad, I found a friend;
- I & Marley;
- Story of a book thief;
- Room;
- Romeo + Juliet by William Shakespeare;
- The pages of our life;
- Blame the stars;
- The Giver - Jonas's World;
- Up;
- Yellow Fang;
- Where the red fern grows;
- Hachi;
- Forrest Gump.
Step 3. Listen to moving music
The right music can be the best way to help your emotions work their way into your mind. To take advantage of the music and cry, it is good to choose an album or a song that you have listened to at another time in your life or one that strongly reminds you of someone who is no longer there. If you don't know a particular song or artist that can help you with this, try listening to one of the following songs, all of which are extremely sad:
- "Not the Love We Dream Of" - Gary Numan
- "Lost" - Gary Numan
- "I'm So Lonesome I Could Cry" - Hank Williams
- "Hurt" - Johnny Cash
- "Tears in Heaven" - Eric Clapton
- "On My Own" - Les Misérables
- "Jolene" - Dolly Parton
- "Motion Picture Soundtrack (piano only)" - Radiohead
- "Say it Like You Mean It" - Matchbook Romance
- "I've Been Loving You Too Long" - Otis Redding
- "How Could This Happen To Me" - Simple Plan
- "I Know You Care" - Ellie Goulding
- "Goodbye My Lover" - James Blunt
- "Carry You Home" - James Blunt
- "All By Myself" - Celine Dion
- "My Heart Will Go On" - Celine Dion
- "Young and Beautiful" - Lana Del Rey
- "The Ice Is Getting Thinner" - Death Cab for Cutie
- "Too Late" - M83
- "Welcome to the Black Parade" - My Chemical Romance
- "With Light There is Hope" - Princess One Point Five
- "Apologize" - One Republic
- "Night Owl" - Gerry Rafferty
- "Ladies And Gentlemen We Are Floating In Space" - Spiritualized
- "8 Billion" - Trent Reznor & Atticus Ross
- "Cry Like a Rainstorm" - Linda Ronstadt
- "Shot" - Rochelle Jordan
- "The Call" - Regina Spektor
- "Blue Lips" - Regina Spektor
- "If You Could See Me Now" - The Script
- "Street Spirit (Fade Out)" - Radiohead
- "Remember Everything" - Five Finger Death Punch
- "Scars" - Papa Roach
- "Var" - Sigur Rós
- "The Man Who Can't Be Moved" - The Script
- "Coming Down" - Five Finger Death Punch
- "The Scientist" - Coldplay
- "Wait" - M83
- "Wound" - Ark
- "Echoes of Silence" - The Weeknd
- "Fourth of July" - Sufjan Stevens
- "One more light" - Linkin Park
- "Youth" - Daughter
- "Don't Cry For Me Argentina" - Madonna
- "I'm Sorry" - John Denver
- "Iris" - John Rzeznik and The Goo Goo Dolls
Step 4. Write down what you feel
Grab a pen and paper and try to capture the essence of your mood. You can start by telling where your emotions come from. Describe the details of your emotional relationship that ended, the last months of your father's illness, how you lost your job at the beginning of the crisis. Then delve deeper into the topic, outlining how a certain event has changed your life and how you feel as a result. Putting your memories on paper is also a great way to cry.
Step 5. Talk to a friend if you prefer
It can be really helpful to confide in someone what fuels your sense of sadness, anger, or despair. Describe how you feel to the point where all your words and tears are exhausted.
You may also want to consider seeing a therapist if you find yourself needing to cry for long periods. It could be a symptom of a more serious problem, such as depression
Advice
- There is nothing wrong with crying. It does not mean that you are a weak person. On the contrary, tears are a sign of strength.
- Don't feel embarrassed for any reason. Everyone is crying.
- Keep a bottle of water and plenty of tissues nearby, as you will probably need them.
- If you feel the need to cry when you are in school, go to a secluded place, if possible, such as the gym, the locker room (unless there is a gym class) or the lecture hall (unless classes are held). gathered there).
- If you are feeling down, try to have someone close to you, such as a friend or family member, and tell them what's wrong. Let it out. Crying is not a sign of weakness!
- Know that there will always be another day and that people will forget that you cried.
- Tell others about your emotions instead of holding them back! They will be happy to help you.
- If you feel the need to cry in class, you can turn your face down or cover it with a book. Don't make noise by sobbing or blowing your nose. Keep a handkerchief handy and quickly wipe away any tear that falls on your face. If you have long hair or bangs, hide your eyes so you don't show tears.
- Remember that self-harm does not help you relieve pain.
- Trust your thoughts to someone you trust. Don't keep it all inside.
Warnings
- Don't cry in front of a group of people you're arguing with. Do this in the presence of a trusted person or when you are alone.
- Make sure you've used waterproof mascara if you think you're crying on a date.
- If you go crying in an area where access is prohibited, you could get in trouble!
