It is a bit ironic to follow steps on how to become a nonconformist person, but it is definitely not like subjecting yourself to the conditioning of social pressures. Use the tips and strategies suggested in this article to get an idea of non-conformism and develop your own point of view, behavior and style.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Understanding Social Pressures
Step 1. Avoid rebelling impulsively
You will probably not be happy at all to be subjected to external pressures or social demands. Make sure that this dissatisfaction does not turn into a "nonconformism for its own sake". To become a nonconformist person, it is necessary to find out what comes close to your personality, without choosing the most difficult path out of spite.
Step 2. Allow others to live their life
Stereotypes and hasty judgments are nothing more than a further consequence of social pressures. Do not express opinions about people based on their belonging to a subculture, be it religion, fashion or party.
Step 3. Think about the groups you belong to
Keep in mind that even a subculture without a mainstream or respect for social rules has its own codes of behavior. It examines the pressures that arise within this type of reality, as well as the pressures traditionally exerted by society. A group of like-minded people might make you feel comfortable and accepted, but it won't necessarily teach you how to find your way.
Step 4. Use social networks in moderation
If you have a social profile, try to limit its use to a few minutes per day, if not less. Constantly checking other people's behavior and / or sharing what you are doing can hinder the development of an authentic opinion.
Step 5. Criticize the messages spread by the mass media
Television programs, magazines, music, video games, and other popular media are important forces that equalize expectations and urge people to follow certain standards. Use these means of communication in small doses, if at all, and examine them critically. Ask yourself questions similar to the following and try to find the answers for yourself:
- If you have a pretty strong emotional reaction to a TV personality, do you think this was the goal of the show's writers? Why should they decide that he plays the villain, the hero or the shoulder?
- How do commercials and song lyrics portray good times, good people, romantic relationships, or sex? Is there a better alternative or should other solutions be encouraged?
Step 6. Examine your actions
After every outing with friends or after making an appointment, think about your behavior and decisions. If you have acted to please someone else or to avoid being teased, admit that you have reacted to accommodate certain pressures. Similarly, keep in mind that if you avoided making a "popular" choice or expressed a negative opinion because other people showed interest in a certain topic, the social pressures exerted in these situations have affected your behavior anyway. Consider these episodes so that you can honestly think about your preferences next time the opportunity arises.
Part 2 of 3: Finding Your Point of View
Step 1. Get in touch with different points of view
The more experience and preparation you gain on various perspectives, the less you will take prevailing opinions for granted. Talk to people you don't normally hang out with, who are of different religions, ethnicities, sexes and ages from yours. If you can, travel to places you've never seen before and get to know the locals.
Step 2. List your priorities
Sit down and think about what would make you happier if there was no social pressure. Decide if your clothing should be comfortable or trendy and choose the kind of clothes that fit this vision. Write down the activities you enjoy and the ones you would like to try.
Step 3. Examine the models you are inspired by
The attempt to imitate someone is the polar opposite of the concept embodied by non-conformism, but it is perfectly acceptable to use individuals or movements to inspire to draw ideas and develop one's way of acting. The ideal would be to critically examine various influences in order to guide one's style, political opinions and personal behaviors. It could be characters, such as Nikola Tesla and Gandhi, or groups, such as political movements, music bands and sports teams.
Step 4. Experiment
Try out different behaviors and styles. Know who you are, what you like and hate. Many people rely on their role models, their opinions and the ideals they believe in. Think for yourself and choose the ones that seem right to you.
Step 5. Read various kinds of books
Consider writers who lived in different countries and other eras, especially those who wrote in another language. Look for authors who challenged the literary and social traditions of their time, to see things from a different perspective than that found in the works of the dominant currents. Here are some examples:
- American counterculture authors such as Jack Kerouac, Allen Ginsberg, William S. Burroughs, Kurt Vonnegut and Hakim Bey.
- Novelists who try their hand at different forms and styles, such as James Joyce, Flann O'Brien, Andrej Belyj, Milorad Pavić and Gabriel García Márquez.
Step 6. Read books that deal directly with nonconformity
If you want to better understand conformism and the pressures exerted by society, many books address these issues directly. Specifically, there are two main categories to consider:
- Many novels for young adults deal with the subject of nonconformity, such as Jerry Spinelli's high school novel Stargirl and Scott Westerfield's Ugly.
- The most famous pens that have spoken out against conformism are those of Ralph Waldo Emerson, Friedrich Nietzsche, Henry David Thoreau and Jean-Paul Sartre.
Part 3 of 3: Being Nonconformist in Everyday Life
Step 1. Go ahead despite the opinions of others
Negative comments don't matter. Positive ones are not necessary. Remember this whenever you build up anxiety or stress from social pressures.
Just because you don't blindly follow social conventions doesn't mean you're immune to them. Try to reduce the time spent with friends and family who discourage you or give you unpleasant opinions
Step 2. Talk about your way of seeing things
If someone invites you to discuss your nonconformist attitude, present your point with openness and sincerity. Behind your decisions there are valid reasons and by talking about them you can strengthen your confidence, maybe you can even encourage others to think for themselves.
Step 3. Don't make a big deal out of it
Do not have excessive reactions and do not express yourself aloud in a laconic way: you will tend to irritate your interlocutors. You may behave differently than everyone else, but don't challenge their way of acting unless you feel directly attacked. Above all, don't try to get people to adjust to your offbeat behavior. Be an example, not a preacher.
Step 4. Be aware of the consequences
Behavior that doesn't embarrass you doesn't free you from the consequences. Be prepared to deal with the negative reactions or retaliation that may arise as a result of your actions, and only move forward when expressing yourself or challenging the status quo is important enough to overcome these problems.
Step 5. Wear clothing that suits you
When shopping, ignore everything you've heard about fashion, emo style, preppy and everything in between. When you see a shirt you like, try to understand why. Do you really like it or because you saw it in a magazine that advertised it? See if you are happy with the answer. If you are, buy it, otherwise forget it. Non-conformism does not mean wearing clothes with questionable tastes, but wearing what you like best.
Advice
- You may find a group or a hangout with few "social rules" or a less strict application of them, where you can be yourself without fear of being annoyed. Anarchist author Hakim Bey describes these places as "Temporarily Autonomous Zones" (TAZ).
- Change can be a good thing. In order to become nonconformists, it is not necessary to give oneself rules once and respect them forever.
