It's hard to learn how to be a good boyfriend, but when you're a teenager it's even harder because you and your girlfriend probably don't have a lot of relationship experiences. Furthermore, if you learn to communicate and always pay attention in an affectionate way, you will become a fabulous boyfriend in the blink of an eye.
Steps
Part 1 of 4: Communicate Well
Step 1. Be honest
If you want to be a good boyfriend as a teenager, then you need to learn to be honest with your girlfriend. It does not mean that you have to tell her all the thoughts that go through your head, but rather that you should be able to tell her if you are not in a good mood, if you are worried because you did wrong on the math test or if you want her not to call you every. five minutes.
- You have to be tactful. If you want to be honest about something she wants or doesn't want to do, tell her in a nice and nice way so she won't take it out on you.
- Don't pretend you haven't had any other girls before her, if there have been. You don't have to go into detail with your current girlfriend, but you don't have to lie about your past either.
- You don't have to tell her "everything" - for example, if you think your partner is nice, you have to keep it to yourself.
- If he finds out that you have been dishonest, he will immediately lose faith in you.
Step 2. Look for a compromise
Growing up and becoming a good boyfriend, as well as being a good friend and child, means learning that you won't always get what you want. You may want to go to the movies to see the latest Bond movie with your friends, but she might really want to go out that night - you need to learn how to manage your battles and how to make sure both of you are happy in the relationship.
- Remember that it is better to be happy than to be right. If your girlfriend really wants something you care little about, let her do it.
- Be mature. If you and your girlfriend are fighting over something, sit down and make a list of all the pros and cons of each decision. It can help both of you to have the right dimension of the situation.
- Make sure you come to a compromise on both sides. It's not a real compromise if you always want to have her way or if she always ends up getting what she wants.
- Learn to do a little for one. Maybe you can choose where to go out for dinner tonight, while she can choose the movie for tomorrow.
Step 3. Learn to apologize
To be a great communicator you need to learn to apologize if you made a mistake. You will think that admitting that you were wrong can only make you feel worse, but the opposite is often the case. If you realize you've made a mistake and apologize by bringing her some flowers or a sweet note, she'll like you a lot more than if you pretend nothing has happened, hoping she'll get over it.
- It's not easy to apologize - it can be very humiliating. But if you get into the habit of apologizing for doing something wrong, it will become more natural.
- When you apologize, you should be trusted. Sit down, look your girlfriend in the eye and maybe take her hands. This will show her that you are taking the time to apologize. If you just mumble the word "Sorry" in passing or via text, it won't take you seriously.
Step 4. Don't argue for no reason
Sometimes it is important to disagree and work together to find a solution to the problem, but constantly arguing for no reason and with a little provocation is the fastest way to ruin your relationship. Couples of teenagers argue easily because they do not have the necessary experience to reach a compromise or have a serious discussion with the people they are romantically linked to, and this requires practice.
- When you find yourself raising your voice or even screaming, calm down and take a few deep breaths. You will not solve anything if you remain in this state of emotional turmoil.
- If you think your girlfriend tends to argue too much, talk to her about what is happening and how it can be changed.
- If a minor detail is bothering you and you have an urge to argue, ask yourself if it's really worth it.
- Do not allow your anger to grow - if there really is something that makes you angry, it is better to talk about it rather than avoid the topic and wait weeks until the anger erupts into a fight.
Part 2 of 4: Be Careful
Step 1. Try to understand his mood
Many girls have fluctuating moods due to hormonal changes and the natural confusion that arises with growth. If you want to be a good boyfriend, then you need to be attentive to his mood and understand when he is feeling happy or bored or even worried. She may try to hide her mood, but as you get to know her better, you will also be able to understand her true emotions.
- If she is really worried about something, you can ask her to tell you about it freely. If she doesn't want to tell you about it, don't force her or she'll feel worse.
- If it's sad, give it love and affection. Ask her if she prefers to stay indoors rather than go out. Ask her how she feels. Maybe she wants to be left alone or she just wants to be pampered by you.
- Don't tell her you see her in a bad mood. Instead, ask her if there is something wrong and if she wants to tell you about it. If you brutally tell her that you find her in a bad mood, she may be on the defensive.
Step 2. Do her some favors
If you really want to be a good boyfriend, then you should be attentive to his needs. Maybe she is really busy during lunch because she has to pass her Spanish exam - offer to bring her lunch while she studies. If she is sick at home, offer to ask her teachers for her homework.
- If she needs to go somewhere, offer to give her a ride.
- If he needs help, he may not be the type to admit it, so you need to be careful and see if you can do something.
- Make sure there is balance. If you do her any favors, she should reciprocate. If it's a one-way street, then it could be that she's exploiting you.
Step 3. Be supportive
You should recognize that your girlfriend has her own personality and you should support her in achieving her goals and also when some conflict arises in her life. Here's how to be supportive:
- If you know there is an exam coming up, you should give her space to study or help her if you can.
- If she's really into football, tennis, or any other school sport, you should cheer her on during her games.
- If she is in trouble at home, make sure you are very careful and ask her if there is anything you can do. If she doesn't want to tell you about it, please her.
- Ask her about her interests. If you know she is passionate about painting or the violin, support her by letting her talk to you and share what is important to her.
Step 4. Pay attention to her friends
Is very important. Girlfriends can support or thwart a teenage relationship because, if they like you, they'll tell her she's very lucky to have a great boyfriend like you; if you don't like them because you don't consider them, they'll tell her you're a boor and convince her that she can get better and that she should break up with you as soon as possible.
- Be nice to his friends. Greet them even if your girlfriend is not present and ask them how it goes. You can also get them to talk to you about their interests to get to know them a little.
- Don't ignore them. If you approach your girlfriend when she is with a group of friends, be sure to say hello.
- Don't tell your girlfriend that you don't like her friends. Even if you find yourself a bit boring, they mean a lot to her and, if you admit it, your relationship will improve too.
Step 5. Don't ignore it when you are with your friends
It's important. If you are going out with her and your friends or even if you are in a group, you should still pay attention to her and let her know that she is important to you. Do not ignore it as soon as your friends arrive, otherwise it will feel like a burden or as if it were the last priority.
- If you are going out with friends, you should sit next to her and include her in the conversation. Never leave her alone.
- Help your friends get to know him. If they are shy or embarrassed, it will be hard to have fun. Get them to talk about common interests.
Step 6. Pay attention to your appearance
If you want to be a good boyfriend, you should also be careful about how you look. You don't have to look like a pop star to show your girlfriend that you care about your appearance when you are with her. You just need to shower regularly and shave, if that's what you normally do, and wear the right, well-ironed clothes.
- If you seem neglected when you are with her, she will think that she is not important enough to you.
- It is important to look good, especially before taking it out. Show her that it's worth the effort to look cute.
Step 7. Be a gentleman
While it can be hard to be a gentleman when you're just a teenager, you should learn to treat your girlfriend with respect. You have to be attentive to her needs ranging from opening the door to hanging up her jacket.
- If you take it out, open the car door.
- Get her into a room first, in front of you.
- If she's cold, offer her your jacket.
- If you take her out to dinner, have her sit in the chair.
Step 8. Find out when it needs space
If you really want to be careful, then you should notice when your girlfriend wants to be left alone. Space and privacy are necessary for any healthy relationship - don't be mad if your girlfriend seems to want to be alone or with friends for a night. If you are always around her, then your relationship may become too intense. Spend some time alone so that you understand how much you miss each other.
- If you are always around her, then she may start thinking that you want to control or dominate her. Let him do his thing.
- If she wants to be alone, you have to be calm. If you are concerned or resentful, they will think you are insecure.
- Leave some space on your agenda. Don't try to plan his weekends so that he is together every second, without having time for your family or other friends.
Part 3 of 4: Being Affectionate
Step 1. Compliment her
It is natural to feel a little shy when complimenting your girlfriend. If you are a teenager, it could be your first relationship or, in any case, one of the first, and you may be worried about telling her she is beautiful or complimenting her on her clothes. You should start getting used to complimenting her. It will let her know that you like her, that you notice her and that she means a lot to you.
- You should give her a lot of compliments if she has a new haircut or if she is wearing a new suit.
- You can tell her she looks beautiful as often as you like - not just when she's fully dressed. If he looks good in shorts and a shirt, tell him.
- You don't have to overdo it - at least one compliment is enough every time you see each other.
- You don't have to compliment her just for how she looks - you can compliment her on an aspect of her personality, like her awesome sense of humor or because she's a great gymnast or is great at French.
Step 2. Give her affection in a physical sense
If you want to be affectionate, you should hug her from time to time, hold her hands, or even give her a quick kiss when you see her. You don't have to go overboard or put your hands on her every time you meet, but you should give a signal that you are close to her, even if it's just a gentle handshake after class.
- Learn to pamper her. Spend some time hugging her, stroking her hair or showering her with kisses. Put your arms around her waist! Girls love this and feel protected and safe in a guy's arms.
- Be as loving as she wants you to be. Don't make her feel like she's being assaulted in public or doesn't have room to breathe.
- Do not overdo it in exhibiting fuss. You will find that often couples who get along do not need to always hold hands or to exchange affection in public. It can be done, but only to the extent that makes her feel comfortable.
Step 3. Ask her if she is ready for the next step
Don't force it. You would make her uncomfortable.
- You can just ask him.
- You can also try something new whenever it comes naturally to you, during a kiss or quite unexpectedly. Be careful to read his verbal reactions and physical attitude - stop if he is not comfortable.
- Don't rush her! Let him carry on with his times. If she tells you she doesn't want to, don't keep asking or she may not feel safe with you anymore.
Step 4. Give her small gifts
They are a great way to show your affection to her, no matter how small or insignificant they are. If you're a teenager, you probably won't have a lot of money to spend and you don't have to save up to buy her a diamond necklace. You just have to give her a cute teddy bear for Valentine's Day, a bouquet of flowers for her birthday or some tickets to the movie she wanted so much to see.
It is not so much the gift that matters as the gesture. A gift shows you've spent time thinking about it
Step 5. Write her some sweet notes
It's a romantic, old-fashioned way to let her know you thought her. Put them in her locker or in her hand after school or even at the end of a romantic date. You don't have to write a lot - just tell her you've thought of it and give her a compliment.
- Don't leave her notes if you feel obligated. But if you really want to show her your affection this way, she'll appreciate it.
- You can also write her an SMS message by accident, with a simple "I love you" or "I'm thinking of you". Maybe it's more impersonal than the cards, but it's always better than nothing, especially if you are far away and can't give them directly.
Step 6. Make time for romance
You need to take some time to go out and tell yourself how much you like yourself. You don't necessarily have to talk. You should try to have an evening date every week or two so that your girlfriend can deepen the relationship.
- You and your girlfriend can take turns choosing where to go and what to do. Maybe one week she'll want to go mini golf and the next you'll choose to go to the beach.
- Almost any situation can be romantic if you are alone with your girlfriend and show her a lot of affection, whether it's at a country fair or a funny movie.
- You should also have time for your friends, but don't let your girlfriend feel like the last choice.
Part 4 of 4: Making It Last
Step 1. Look for common interests
If you want to be a good boyfriend and make your relationship last a long time, then you and your girlfriend should find some interest to pursue together. Although it can be difficult with a busy schedule, you should find an activity that both of you enjoy, like playing tennis together on weekends or trying every sushi restaurant in town.
- You can also find a TV show that you are passionate about and that you can both follow.
- It doesn't matter what you do together, but building common interests will allow you to look to the future and discuss it throughout your relationship.
Step 2. Keep your relationship fresh
If you have been together for some time, you may fall into routine and feel that your relationship is losing that special spark. Make sure you keep things interesting by finding new ways to compliment your girlfriend, hanging out in new places on your dates, and finding other interests to pursue together.
- Be spontaneous. Pick it up after school and take it to a park for an impromptu picnic.
- Don't do it every weekend. Make sure you try at least one new thing together every time you go out, even if it means seeing the same movie in a different cinema.
- Don't forget your appearance. You should continue to hold on to yourself, even if you have been together for a while. If you let yourself go, they may think they don't care anymore.
Step 3. Maintain independence
If it's a youthful relationship, it's never a good idea to spend too much time together. Let's face it - this type of relationship is less likely to last than one between adults or during college, so you shouldn't invest 100% of your time on your girlfriend or both of you might regret it. Your relationship can continue to grow and strengthen even when you both remember who you are without the other.
- Keep having fun with your friends. Don't completely neglect them to go out with your girlfriend.
- And don't let your girlfriend lose her friends to hang out with you all the time either.
- Don't stop following your interests just because of your girlfriend. Keep rehearsing with your band even if she doesn't like music.
- If you and your girlfriend are always together, you won't have room to step back and get a broader perspective. Starting some alone helps you evaluate what you have and think about what might not work.
Step 4. Don't advance too fast
If you are a teenage boy, chances are you have a hormonal storm to vent with your girlfriend whenever you can. But, if you want to go beyond kissing, you need to make sure your girlfriend is completely ready to take this step.
- Never pressure your girlfriend if you want more than she wants to give you. She may feel forced by you and regret it later.
- If you keep pushing the relationship too much, your girlfriend may think you are with her for the wrong reasons.
- Let your girlfriend make the requests every now and then. Wait for her to tell you what she wants instead of asking her for more.
- You should avoid pressure not only in bed, but in general. Do not start talking about the University or your possible future together as long as you have not been together for a long time and are seriously close.
Advice
- Don't change for her. He's dating you, isn't he? This means that she likes you for who you are.
- Don't be paranoid. Let her talk to other guys; don't always worry about the fact that one day she might leave you, or that she might be angry etc… Simply love her as much as possible and treat her with respect; if you do, everything will be fine.
- Opposites attract. Maybe your tastes are completely different. Even if you have a lot in common, small differences can strengthen your relationship.
- The language varies a little. Don't always call her the same way, like: "beautiful" or "sexy"! Try to use different ways to refer to her. Also, don't focus solely on her physical appearance; compliment her on her personality, character, etc.
- Always answer his calls and don't complain if he wakes you up.
- Make sure you communicate with her every day. It doesn't matter if it's just a text, or a phone call; let her know that she is important to you and that you love her.
- Don't obsess over his past. He's with you now and that's what matters.
- Don't go overboard to impress her. Girls consider boys who exaggerate in this sense to be quite "weird". Trying to impress a girl is good, but always with a certain limit.
- Give her flowers from time to time.
- When you have to give her a gift for her birthday, never give her money; give her a real gift! It will make her understand that you care about her and that you don't consider her some kind of "prostitute".
Warnings
- Never tell her not to sit on your lap. If she is sitting on your lap and your leg falls asleep, gently invite her to move a little. Don't force her off your knees if you don't want her to think she's fat or too heavy.
- NEVER ask her about photos of her naked. If she wants you to see her naked, she will do it in person in due time.
- Don't be jealous of your exes. He is with you now and not with them. Likewise, don't make her jealous of your exes. Try to avoid this topic as much as possible.
- If you don't return the same feeling a girl has for you, tell her. Living in a relationship where there is no balance between the feelings of both can be really harmful.
- Don't tell her that you consider another girl sexy, and don't ask her for an opinion on that. It can be a very dangerous subject. You sure don't want to hear how much she likes Justin Bieber, do you? For her it is the same thing. Also, for a girl it can be worse due to increased insecurity.
- Remember that all guys have a chance to win the girl they like; no matter who you are or how you are.
- Don't try to make her jealous and don't tell her you think she is. However, if you truly believe she is a jealous girl, give her a little more affection.
- If she has male friends, don't get jealous. It is really irritating! Tell her very kindly that you are a little worried that you spend so much time in the company of other guys. However, don't make her feel the weight of your jealousy.
