Being a good boyfriend? It's not always easy, even if you have a wonderful girlfriend by your side. A good boyfriend knows when to talk, listen, offer advice, support, fill his girlfriend with attention and give her space. His girlfriend must trust him and admire him, even feel motivated to become a better girlfriend. A good boyfriend is able to adapt to various situations and knows that his work never ends.
Steps
Method 1 of 2: Expressing and Sharing Your Feelings
Step 1. Be honest
In any self-respecting relationship, honesty is the best policy (with rare exceptions). If you are sincere from the beginning of the relationship, you are unlikely to have problems in the future.
- Try to tell her the truth when you have to, but don't overwhelm her. For example, if you have been in a very serious relationship in the past, tell him without revealing detailed details about your ex.
- Honesty must be tempered with kindness. You don't have to shower her with compliments when you don't feel like it, but an uncomfortable comment requires a certain delicacy. For example, he asks you what you think about a dress you are trying on, the problem is that it doesn't convince you. Tell her it's not bad, but you much prefer the blue one, which flatters her eyes.
- Not only do you have to learn to be honest without getting too much trouble, you have to accept that she will be honest with you too. If you want to be a good boyfriend, you need to be able to face the truth.
Step 2. Trust her and give her reasons to trust you
Trust should be the foundation of the relationship. It will allow you to cultivate a more open relationship, but also to better understand your partner's wants, feelings, and needs.
- You can show her that you trust her by telling her something personal that very few people know.
- You can get her to trust you by showing her that you care and care about everything she tells you, especially if it's personal and important to her.
Step 3. Make a fair contribution to conversations
When talking, try to create a good balance so that the conversation runs smoothly. If you are too quiet, they may think your interest is waning. If you are too talkative, he may think you are self-centered or rude.
- Conversations are an exchange. The same goes for relationships. When they are one-sided, they never succeed.
- Obviously there will be occasions when you will talk a lot (for example when something exciting or important happens to you) or when you will be more shy (for example when you have a bad day). Overall, however, try to create balanced dialogues.
Step 4. Learn to listen
Instead of just thinking about what you're going to say or getting lost in other thoughts, be careful when she talks to you. Work out his words. Always try to seem interested and absorbed in what he says.
- When you talk to your girlfriend, you don't just have to nod, but also memorize what she says to you. If he tells you about an important experience, impress it well in your mind.
- If she has said something to you twice in the past and you don't have a clue what she's saying because you haven't been paying attention to her, she'll realize it and won't be happy at all.
- Also observe her body language and her gaze. You have to learn to understand if there is something that bothers her even when she doesn't say a word. What do her face, body or certain gestures (such as curling her hair) convey?
Step 5. Learn to compromise
It is essential to communicate effectively. If you and your girlfriend are unable to express disagreement without throwing objects at each other or without one member of the couple quickly succumbing to the other's needs, then you have a problem. To be able to compromise, learn to talk about your needs and desires, but at the same time try to understand your girlfriend's point of view rather than ignore her side of things.
- Once you have exchanged opinions on a certain issue, you can work together to write a list of pros and cons, in order to understand which is ideal for both of you.
- Sometimes one of the two will have to give up. This is not a problem, as long as it happens in a balanced way. For example, if she chooses the movie you will watch in the cinema, you should have the right to choose the place where you will dine.
- To learn how to compromise in the face of a disagreement, it is essential to use a calm and even tone of voice. Never shout, swear or beat her (it would not justify in any case): do not get overwhelmed by emotions. If necessary, leave the house for a while and come back when you feel you can speak rationally.
Step 6. Put it down
You can do this by giving her all your availability, listening carefully and showing interest in her life. When you spend time together, make an effort to be present and attentive to their needs. This will make you both feel more secure and the relationship will be built on reciprocity. If you support her goals and dreams, she will do the same to you.
- Be there when she has to study for an important exam, has to enroll in college, or is stressed about an event that can change her future.
- If she's going through a busy week or month, you should be there to do her little favors, like making lunch or giving her a ride to college, and make her life easier.
Step 7. Be empathetic
If something is important to her, it should be important to you too. Then it does not matter if this thing interests you only and exclusively because it is relevant to her: in a relationship it is essential to share experiences and support each other. When she's upset, try to put yourself in her shoes and figure out why. Don't neglect her feelings because you think she is melodramatic.
- Always confirm that you are listening to her, and when you comfort her try to be sincere. If you don't honestly feel sorry, try to change your point of view. Look at things from his perspective.
- Sometimes she will just want to cry and be consoled. Don't try to fix his problems right away. Instead, wait for him to deal with all his emotions, then move on to practical things.
- If she is sad, try to ask her, "Would you like to talk about it?" Let her know that you really care. If she isn't ready to talk about it, don't investigate.
Method 2 of 2: Show Affection
Step 1. Show your affection often
The nice gestures will let her know that you love her. Caressing her, hugging her, kissing her or perhaps some public display of affection will make you feel even more united.
- Don't overdo it, or you risk embarrassing her. Remember to always consider her body language and mood - if she doesn't like it, don't kiss her.
- Many times a caress is enough. If she's a romantic and you haven't seen each other in a couple of days, tell her you missed her, wrap your arms around her waist and squeeze her gently.
- Also consider her preferences: you can try kissing her on the lips, cheek, forehead, or neck to let her know you're happy to see her. You can also kiss her hand: grab it and bring it to your lips.
- If you don't know his views on public displays of affection, be discreet at first. Believe it or not, not everyone likes to hold hands.
Step 2. Comment on her physical appearance
If she carefully prepares for a date, compliment her, but remind her that she can also relax and just be herself when she's with you. Don't make her think she should always be flawless. She needs to understand that she looks good to you both when she takes an hour to put on makeup and when she gets out of bed in the morning.
- If she gets a new haircut or is wearing new clothes, let her know that you have noticed and that she looks great.
- Complimenting your physical appearance isn't as superficial as it may seem. If you love a girl, she will be beautiful to you anyway. Your girlfriend needs to know that you really mean it.
Step 3. Give her sincere compliments whenever you can, but don't choke her
Don't compliment her only on her physical appearance, but also on her personality. That way he'll know that both appearances and substance matter to you. When you give her reason to believe in herself, her self-esteem will strengthen.
- Don't use trivial phrases. For example, don't say "You look good dressed like this", but "This sweater makes your eyes sparkle" or "This haircut looks great on you". The more specific you are, the more unique and heartfelt the compliment will be.
- Even the small and seemingly silly comments are meaningful. Saying "You have great handwriting" or "You know how to park well" can also boost her self-esteem, as long as they are sincere compliments. This shows that you pay attention to the little things.
Step 4. Give her gifts on special or surprise occasions
A healthy relationship cannot survive on material things alone, no matter how sophisticated or expensive gifts are. However, giving something thoughtful and attentive can show that you care about her and that you want to make her happy. Among other things, an object or an experience leaves a lasting impression.
- Engage when you need to buy her a gift for birthdays, Valentine's Day, Christmas, anniversaries, and other special occasions. Choose a sensible and thoughtful gift - it doesn't have to be expensive, just show that you've actually thought about her and her tastes.
- Think of something special, like a pendant with her name or a pendant that symbolizes her passion (a snowflake, if she loves skiing, or a musical note, if she likes to play).
- When you are with her, try to understand what interests her. He may point to an item in a shop window or tell you about activities he would like to try, such as horseback riding. Don't just think about material objects - experiences can be much more exciting and fun.
- Sometimes buy her something "why yes". Buy a gift out of the blue and tell her that when you saw it you immediately thought of her. This gesture has a huge impact because it is unexpected and pleasant.
Step 5. Add a dash of spontaneity to your relationship
Familiarity and confidence are some of the most reassuring aspects of a relationship, but try not to fall into the trap of routine. You probably enjoy sharing some activities on a regular basis, but you shouldn't always do the same things.
- Instead, try to visit new places, try different activities than usual and visit other parts of the city. Not all experiences will meet expectations, but at least you will have shared something and you will have gotten to know each other even better.
- If you always try something new, the relationship will be full of surprises and together you will never be bored. You will also have memories that will remain etched in your mind even after a long time.
- Every so often surprise your girlfriend by doing something original: challenge her to run to where you are headed (if it's not far), dance without music or give her a pack of Lego and invite her to build something that represents you.
- Plan a surprise trip. You can choose a secret destination and just tell her what to pack. Obviously consider his tastes and adjust accordingly. Some girls like the mystery and excitement that comes with a surprise trip, others don't.
- If she told you she has never visited a national park or a picturesque town in your area, take her there without telling her where to go. He will appreciate your spontaneity and the fact that you listen to him when he speaks.
Step 6. Take care of yourself
Your girlfriend needs to feel important, useful, and appreciated, but not be overly needy or addicted. Take care of your personal hygiene and always be tidy. Set goals and work hard. If you don't take any responsibility, you can't be a good boyfriend.
- Be proud of how you look and how you present yourself to the world. If you take care of your look and, above all, your behavior, she too will make a good impression and appreciate it.
- If your girlfriend feels like you can't take a step without her, the relationship will become a burden. She sure wants to take care of you, but she is not your mother.
Step 7. You both should have personal spaces
Your girlfriend is your sweetheart, but she isn't literally yours, she doesn't belong to you. Having a healthy relationship doesn't mean always sticking together. In fact, if you allow her to indulge her passions without calling her every five seconds, she'll appreciate you even more.
- Look for a balance that allows both of you to distribute the time equally between moments spent alone, with friends and as a couple.
- Seeing your respective friends will make you more united and being apart will strengthen the relationship.
- Having different social commitments will also give you lots of conversation points.
- Try to have separate interests as well. Keep pursuing your hobbies, sports, and other passions you had before you met her. It's good to share an interest, but if she doesn't want to, don't force her to watch your favorite team's games. For your part, you don't have to do yoga with her unless you want to try.
- Having separate interests will also allow you to cultivate a certain individuality and evolve separately - this is essential for growing together.
Advice
- If your girlfriend is sad or angry, don't let her go to bed in this state. Talk to her about what happens to her. She'll realize that you really care about her.
- Talk to her regularly. Text her, call her, let her know you care.
- Ask her what she likes about you and show her this side of you more often. For example, if she likes your smile, smile more often. If she likes to challenge you to run, take the challenge, but match your speed to hers, slow down, catch up with her again, overtake her and slow down once more. If you do little things that make her happy, she'll appreciate you more.
- If you get jealous when talking to someone, don't get discouraged or angry, otherwise they'll think you're obsessed with them. Explain this to him and he'll probably be more careful.
- If your girlfriend doesn't like your best friend, explain that she has no reason to worry and that you will be loyal to her.
- Tell her how you feel. If you are upset, angry or happy, tell them. Girls like to comfort their boyfriend when he's down.
- Believe in yourself. This will make it easier for her to trust you. Also, some women like men a little swaggering. The important thing is not to overdo it.
- When going through tough times, try to improve the situation rather than trying to figure out who is right.
- If someone flirts with her, make a joke or tease her, but don't be rude, otherwise she may think you're angry.
- Don't rush into a serious relationship - go step by step.
- She remembers that her friends know her well. If you don't know what gift to give her, ask them: they will probably be able to tell you what dates she dreams of, what her favorite places are, the brands she buys most often and the things she hates. In any case, if you have had a fight, don't go to her friends to understand what is happening: they will almost always be on her side and then they will go and tell her everything. Be nice to them - if they don't accept you, they might advise them to stay away from you.
- When you can't figure out if something is bothering her, ask her. He'll probably tell you, if not, don't insist - he'll tell you when it's ready.
Warnings
- When she is angry, never yell at her. Calm her down and deal with the problem in a civilized way. This will keep everything under control and this will help you resolve difficulties with less conflict.
- Don't embarrass her in public. If you talk about underwear, hygiene, sex, and other sensitive topics, he may feel uncomfortable. They may be normal for you, but maybe she doesn't want to talk about them in public. Also, never tell funny stories about her without asking her permission first. In particular, if he tries to shut you up, don't continue. You risk hurting her feelings - she'll feel like it's more important to you to hit your friends and make them laugh than her reputation.
- Don't be clingy. Just like you, she wants her personal spaces too. If she feels like going out with her friends or doing another activity that doesn't involve you, let her.
- Never blame her for actions done by her family. Nobody can control what others do or say. If a gesture or comment bothered you, tell him, but then put a stone on it.
- Don't say or do things that you will regret, because otherwise you will put yourself in an awkward position. If you know you're about to explode or say something unfortunate, go for a walk. Then, after a couple of hours, text her to see if she's okay and if you can talk to her.
- Never tell her that you were about to do something for her and then you didn't get the chance. Examples: "I wanted to buy you this gift, but then I changed my mind" or "I wanted to take a day off to spend it with you, but then I realized it was a bad idea". She won't think you were thoughtful: she'll think you don't give her that much importance.
- If your partner sees you involved in an easily misunderstood situation, don't say, "It's not what you think" or "It's not what it seems". Take her hand (she'll probably try to walk away), look her in the eye and tell her you love her, that she's the only one for you. Then, explain to her that it's all a misconception.
