Whether you are about to start a public or private university, making friends in this environment can be a far from easy experience. However, if you want to succeed, the key is to remember that others are just as nervous and scared as you are. You should start showing your sociable side as soon as possible, before social circles close in on themselves. If you want to know how to find friends in college right away, just follow these steps.
Steps
Method 1 of 3: Be Active
Step 1. Try to indulge in a couple of leisure activities
This is the easiest and most effective way to meet people with similar tastes. Don't be afraid to participate alone. It's the only way you can get close to and talk to others, especially if you're at a scattered university. Smaller cities don't always have a wide range of leisure options, but one way or another you will be able to cultivate a passion. The first few weeks, almost everyone is lonely and disoriented. If you start late, remember that most groups will be happy to give you a report and welcome you. The important thing is to choose a hobby that interests you, or that comes close.
- Check out websites about the city you live in, Facebook profiles and flyers distributed at the university to find out more about these activities. You could even create your own.
- Also consider the initiatives of the university itself. Don't think they're boring without even giving it a try. It is a good opportunity to meet people and live new experiences.
Step 2. If you love sports, you could join a team
It is a great opportunity to meet people and share a goal. Do matches and competitions put you under pressure and you don't want to stress yourself out? You can always go to the gym. Either way, try to get closer to others, especially if you join a team. You will spend a lot of time together during training, which helps to cultivate the famous team spirit. Companions often become an integral part of their family. If you are nowhere near a sportsman, try another activity, such as theater or music.
Of course, remember that studying comes first, so don't neglect it for other activities. Try to reconcile commitments. Above all, don't forget that in this case hobbies are first and foremost an excuse to make friends
Step 3. Look for work
Often, finding a job as a tour guide or salesman allows you to cultivate close relationships with colleagues. This effort generally leads to new friendships, not to mention that you will have your own income. You can choose any job, not necessarily related to the one you study.
Better to opt for a job that gives you more chance of being in contact with your peers. If you work in a daycare center, you wouldn't have the same chance as a student orientation center
Step 4. Almost all faculties offer credit of choice within the various curricula
Try to select courses that allow you to meet people. If you study music, try joining a band or choir, otherwise sign up for a music production class. Do you have a great passion for art? Choose accordingly. If you enrolled in Exercise Science, opt for a bowling or weightlifting course. If you are studying science, sign up for a psychology or biology course. In any case, do not burden yourself with commitments and remember to base yourself on the main subjects when choosing.
You can also choose courses that have a good social orientation. Lessons that involve lots of discussion, group work, and interactions with other people might come in handy. You can find them in the following fields: communication, sociology, psychology, political science, etc
Step 5. Don't think you're too cool for Facebook
This is certainly not the best time to make the alternative. If you don't join this social network, people you know will have a hard time remembering you, getting in touch with you and inviting you to events. Thanks to the advent of the internet, you just have to sit in front of a computer to take the first step and meet people: after reading this article, add people who attend your university or acquaintances. Obviously, at the beginning only send the request to those you met in person. Join open groups on Facebook that focus on certain interests - it's another tactic for making friends.
After sending friend requests, showing yourself reasonably active on Facebook will allow you to stay on the radar. Just remember not to spend more than 15-30 minutes a day connected or you will miss out on vital opportunities to socialize in the real world
Step 6. Volunteer
You can try this at the soup kitchen, in an animal shelter, or in the university itself. It is ideal for meeting people and making friends. In addition, this experience will allow you to make a great impression when you write it on your resume and will make it easier for you to search for a job. Contact an association in the city where you study or one organized at the university level, which will also allow you to make friends more easily.
Step 7. Brotherhoods, be they male or female, are not so widespread in Italy
More than anything else, there are goliardic organizations. If in the city where you study you find out about such an association, try joining it. In any case, this lifestyle is not for everyone, but don't rule it out: trying doesn't hurt. In case there is no such thing in your university, identify the most popular groups, the ones that you also attend externally. Make friends with a member, so you will participate in different events and have the opportunity to meet lots of interesting people. Don't be skeptical or shy. Also, don't be snobby - give everyone a chance.
- In the search, however, make sure you get close to people who seem similar to you, do not put yourself in risky situations to find friends. If a person doesn't convince you, nobody forces you to hang out with them.
- While not being able to join the group that interests you, you can meet people and, in the meantime, maybe find people who are right for you.
Method 2 of 3: Be Sociable
Step 1. Attend events
Nothing more than a match praises team spirit. Do you hate sport? Don't give up: in the city you will find poetry readings, concerts, exhibitions, dance essays, competitions and many other opportunities. Asking about local events is a great icebreaker trick. However, if you are studying in a city where sport is given a certain importance, going to a game will at least allow you to understand the reason for this stir. You don't even have to cheer: it's a real social experience.
Attend events that are fun or that you would never consider, like a magic show or a belly dance contest. Get out of the classic comfort zone and let yourself be surprised by the people you will meet
Step 2. Talk to others
You certainly can't make friends if you sit in a dark corner of the library, no one will go looking for you. When you go to class, talk to a colleague and ask them questions about a chapter. Sure, maybe it's all very clear to you, but study topics offer a good excuse to break the ice. You could also take advantage of the events on the horizon (parties, holidays, matches, initiatives in the city, concerts, etc.) to engage in a dialogue.
- After meeting someone, try to remember their name. Use it when you meet again in the future: you will hit it.
- Don't be afraid to take a cue from the context. Basically, you can talk about food when you eat and music when you go to a concert. Don't worry.
- When they introduce you to someone, tell them something interesting about you so they will remember you. You can tell him you have twins or a snake. Try to be unforgettable.
Step 3. Don't study in your room or be a recluse in your apartment
If you live in a dormitory, remember that these places generally have a study room or common area, where you can read without a problem. Try turning on the television or stereo to attract more people to your room. Do you like being outdoors? Study in a park. You may not have the same privacy as you would elsewhere, but over time others will begin to get closer to you.
Try studying elsewhere in the university as well. There are many common areas where you can sit and read: take advantage of the breaks to talk to someone
Step 4. Go to parties
They may scare you at first (loud music, drunk older students, etc.), but over time you will adapt. Going to college also means having fun (not just graduating), so don't lock yourself in your room. If parties where the alcohol flows freely isn't your thing, you can try simpler outings with one or two people you know at the faculty. Don't like parties that everyone is invited to? Prefer the more discreet and quiet ones. Plus, you can go to the movies, join a sleepover, or accept dinner invitations at a colleague's house.
- Just try not to get in trouble - join a group together. In particular, during the first weeks of university, freshmen prefer to go out in company in the evening. Try not to stray too far from your friends. Go around with at least one person you can rely on.
- If it's a themed party, find out about it and dress up accordingly. Try to adapt.
Step 5. Find out about the events organized in the city
Many students are all "home and university" and do not have the faintest idea of what happens outside these spaces. Don't forget to go out from time to time. If you don't live in a particularly large community, it will be even easier to know what's going on around. You can go to see a movie that has just been released at the cinema, go shopping in a new store opened in the mall, go bowling, go to a festival, go around the stalls of a fair, attend a show or concert, try a new venue. It's a great way to meet people of all ages, not just college students.
Step 6. If people you have known for a long time live in the city where you study, remember that this is a great advantage
Maybe you take a class with a girl who went to the same school as you or with your cousin's best friend. These people can be valuable sources, although you don't have much in common. It will be easier to widen the circle of friendships, also because it may be that these acquaintances have friends similar to you. You can hang out with your old school friends (if you live in the same town), but make sure you get past this little group and meet other people.
And then you never know: maybe a person you have recently met will one day become your best friend
Step 7. Try to be approachable
One of the secrets to becoming sociable is to allow people to approach and talk to you smoothly. Try to appear available instead of staring at your iPhone or running to the classroom without looking anyone in the face. Stop for a chat. Be kind, open doors to others, help them study. These little things will work in your favor in the long run.
Really, it doesn't take much; for example, smile at someone you don't know to get them to approach you and chat
Method 3 of 3: Starting on the Right Foot
Step 1. Try to make friends with someone before classes begin
Some universities organize different activities before the start of the academic year. For example, you can attend orientation days to talk to older students and get to know future mates. Go with a good disposition and smile a lot. Maybe this experience makes you think back to the first day of high school or you feel compelled to take part, but it will surely benefit you because it will allow you to make friends.
You may not know your new best friend at these events, but you will certainly meet lots of people to hang out with who will help you overcome the fear of socializing. The more people you connect, the more likely you are to run into the right ones for you
Step 2. Start socializing immediately
In college, you'll have plenty of opportunities to do this - they're all incredibly friendly, willing to meet people, swap phone numbers, and talk openly about school experiences and future plans. Believe us, because it is, especially during the first few weeks. If the first two months you do nothing but feel homesick, call your best friend and show an attitude that is nothing short of antisocial, you miss the chance to introduce yourself to dozens of people you met at the canteen, at class or at the student house.
- If you wait too long, people will begin to isolate themselves with iPod headphones in their ears, take refuge in their small group of friends and close their doors to others. It may seem like unpleasant behavior, but that's the way it is.
- When you meet someone, don't be afraid to ask them for their phone number, whether they are a potential friend or you like them from another point of view. At first, this behavior is absolutely socially acceptable and is not considered disturbing.
- When meeting new people, you should also try to make plans with them. You might ask “Hey! Are you going to the party tonight? " or "Do you want to join the choir too?". Proposing something interesting to do will persuade others to accept your invitation.
Step 3. If you are in a long distance relationship, examine it carefully to see if it is appropriate to end it
Experience tells us that only one in 1000 resists the earthquake triggered by such a transfer. In case this person doesn't convince you or you don't get along very well, maybe it is better to put an end to this farce. You're only 19 (or 22, if you're about to start a master's degree): you should take advantage of this moment to meet people, explore all the possibilities and spend time outside your room. Don't be glued to your phone arguing with your girlfriend because you can't go visit her every couple of days. This will make you isolate yourself from potential friends and condemn yourself to loneliness from the very first moment.
- You may not meet the love of your life in college, and in fact it probably won't, but locking yourself in before starting the search will surely make you more antisocial.
- If you really believe in this long-distance relationship, keep phone calls relatively short and don't plan too many visits, especially during the first few months of college.
Step 4. If you don't have a particular affinity with your roommates, you don't have to be with them all the time
Sure, they seem kind and nice. Does this mean that you will have to attack like a mussel? Absolutely not! On the other hand, try to hang out together during the first few weeks of college, also because you will help each other get to know people. However, if you feel like you're not really soulmates, don't use them because you can't get a shred of social life.
- You don't even have to completely dump your roommates. But be prepared to go out and do things on your own instead of becoming their shadow.
- Sometimes, it's best to have a friendly but not too close relationship with roommates. This allows you to avoid embarrassing moments in the future, because maybe you may have problems living together.
Step 5. Make friends with someone who is more sociable than you
At university, you will meet a great variety of very different individuals. Some will be shy as curly, others as shy as Justin Bieber. Obviously, you should find a balance between friendships, but choose at least one person, or even more than one, who has excellent interpersonal skills, loves meeting people and is always willing to try something new.
This will maximize your chances of meeting lots of people and finding the ones who actually do it for you
Step 6. Don't humble yourself too much
Going to college also means making mistakes, making bad decisions, and feeling some remorse, but you should avoid putting on (too) entertainment. Have fun, do something crazy and dance on the tables with your friends. On the other hand, don't become the kind of girl who ends up puking on a stranger's shoes or passionately kisses three guys in one night. Unfortunately, they will remember you for your mistakes, not just your wonderful qualities.
- Don't be afraid to step out of the comfort zone and try something new, but be careful not to get a bad reputation right from the start.
- College sex isn't as legendary as it is shown in the movies. Plus, if you don't protect yourself, you'll end up jeopardizing the whole experience - you could contract a life-threatening sexually transmitted disease or get pregnant at the wrong time. You can certainly have a fulfilling sex life, but take care of yourself and remember that there is no shortage of risks.
Step 7. Don't give up
The first year is fraught with enormous changes: many people at some point get demoralized and give up everything. Many freshmen have never left the family nest, and transitioning to a new environment, away from friends, siblings and parents, could be tough. This usually happens among students who move to a city far from home. Don't let it happen to you. The anxiety and sadness could steal an entire year, and when you start adjusting you will regret not doing anything to change the situation. Someone does not play sports, is not enrolled in a faculty (such as artistic or technical ones) that forces him to work with others and does not carry out extracurricular activities, so he does not have real interpersonal contacts until the second year, or even the third!
- Regardless of the type of faculty you choose and the subjects studied, in class you will still meet people who have programs similar to yours, so approach them even though you don't have to do a project together.
- This greatly facilitates the process of making friends. Although a classroom is full of people and you don't even know where to start to get to know someone, still try to step forward, because you certainly share goals and interests.
Advice
- Be yourself. The students are all in the same boat, so you don't have to act. You risk looking fake and no one will want to befriend you. You yourself would not want such friends.
- Don't judge others.
- Don't be obnoxious or bully. Try to give compliments, like "Nice shirt!" or "I like your room!". Don't say "I don't like the color of your shirt!" or "You are ugly!". Nobody will want to be friends with you if you are rude.
- If you live near your hometown, you can still keep in touch with your old friends. You can also hear from each other on WhatsApp, Twitter and Facebook.
- If you live in a dormitory, leave the door open as often as possible. Try to frequent the common areas and those where the vending machines are located.
- If you take a master's degree program, you will meet older people, so the ways to make friends are different. Read this article.
Warnings
- Don't be foolish to get the attention of others. Sooner or later you will pay the consequences.
- Be careful if you decide to leave your bedroom door open. Thefts often occur in student houses. When you don't close the door to let your friends in, remember to lock up anything that could be stolen.
- Don't be annoying. Nobody likes annoyances.
- Don't mess with other freshmen. If someone asks you to do something illegal, why ever consider them a friend? These are things that happen in the first year, so be careful - they might target you.
- Try not to overdo alcohol, take drugs, engage in illegal activities, gamble, engage in silly pranks, get involved in criminal activity, or have unprotected sex. All of this can permanently change your future.
