Not having friends is not always a problem, indeed, for certain personality types it can also be positive. This needs to be addressed differently if you go to school (whether it's elementary, middle or high school) or college.
Steps
Step 1. Be active
If you don't want to join a team, that's okay, you can still play sports. Go swimming or ice skating. Play soccer in the garden, perhaps in the company of your brother, another family member, or alone. Take a bike ride, run, go for walks, dance to your favorite music. Go to the gym closest to your home. There are many activities to do, and you don't have to socialize with others.
Step 2. Be creative
You can cultivate this aspect of yourself if you don't feel like spending time with others. Draw, read, write, paint, sew. Create photo montages with Photoshop or learn to play an instrument. Photography is another nice idea, and you can also try shooting video. Write songs, record them and produce them.
Step 3. Use your imagination and dreams
You could imagine going to Hogwarts with Harry Potter or being a superstar. You could imagine that you are in Terabithia. You could imagine dating Johnny Depp or Brad Pitt. In short, dream everything you want. The imagination has no limits.
Step 4. Join an online community
You don't have to make friends if you don't want to, but sometimes talking to others can ease loneliness. You don't necessarily have to see them in person. If you want, you can contact one or two people for every interest you have. However, you can still spend time alone at the computer. Write a couple of articles on wikiHow or browse the web.
Step 5. At school, entertain yourself
Look around for somewhere nice and quiet. It could be anywhere: behind some bushes, near a tree… Bring books or a pen and paper. Sit in this place during recess. It will be your little private corner, where you can read, do your homework, draw, write, dedicate yourself to whatever you want.
Step 6. At lunch, sit alone in the canteen
If school allows it (or you know you won't be caught red-handed), listen to music on your iPod, MP3 player, or CD player. In case you get the chance, you might as well sit elsewhere to eat.
Step 7. If the teacher assigns group work, ask if you can do it alone
He will probably answer yes. If not, try joining a group. Can't find any? The teacher will have to choose it for you or will be obliged to allow you to do the project yourself.
Step 8. If your parents allow it, adopt a pet:
furry friends are often more reliable than humans.
Step 9. If you're not sporty or creative and think reading is boring, take up another hobby
Collect something! This way, you will still have an activity to dedicate yourself to. It could be any object: autographs of your favorite celebrities, napkins, postcards. The options are endless. Just playing video games and watching TV can be a waste of time.
Step 10. If possible, avoid parties and other social events
If you have no friends, you are unlikely to have fun. However, if you really have to go, bring a book or a camera with you so you'll have something to do. Otherwise, take a walk outside until it's time to leave.
Step 11. Offer to volunteer
Take a spin on the internet, you will probably be able to help in some association. Doing good to others will give you a good feeling and enrich your resume once you have to write one.
Step 12. Watch different shows to find out which ones are your favorites and follow them constantly
Sometimes knowing what happens in the lives of TV series characters is almost identical to having friends.
Step 13. If you have a specific issue at heart, such as world peace or fighting animal abuse, take the time to fight it
Find out about the events and participate. Write letters to politicians and newspapers. Create posters. You could organize a protest yourself!
Step 14. Get out
Just because you don't have friends, that doesn't mean you can't go out and have fun. Go to the cinema, to go shopping, to an amusement park, to the circus, to visit museums. You could even take a walk in the park on your own and enjoy the good weather. Take the bus or train and go explore a random city. Discover its streets. Bring your camera with you to remember these experiences. These are all great ideas for a change of scenery. Renting a few movies, making popcorn, and having a quiet evening can also be nice.
Step 15. Look for a job
Take a walk downtown, find out if they are looking for staff in the municipal library, a clothing store, a bar, McDonald's, any place will do. Having a job is an excellent way to observe people and contribute to society. Plus, you can earn money and increase your savings!
Step 16. Play video games
Video games are ideal for spending time alone. You can buy a console, like an Xbox or a PS3, or play on the computer. But remember that not all games can be played alone. Some MMORPGs, like World of Warcraft, Warhammer, or RuneScape, can be really fun if you don't want to pay to play. In any case, don't always stay in front of a screen, try to communicate more with your family: these people really love you! Don't force yourself to make friends with your classmates: maybe your dislike is mutual, and you won't be comfortable in their company. Also, by doing so, it will appear that you are desperate for friends. Try traveling and dedicating your time to productive activities, such as reading, praying, listening to music and drawing.
Advice
- Don't listen to criticism. If someone insults you, don't feel inferior. Defend yourself. Many people target those who have no friends. Make sure they understand that it doesn't attack with you. Don't react violently anyway, just stand up for yourself. But if they make fun of you without intending to offend you, laugh it off. Try to understand the difference. You don't have to be known to have aggressive reactions, but neither do you have to be considered a weak guy that anyone can insult.
- Nobody should tell you how you should be or what you should do, not even your parents. You are who you are. Be proud of yourself. However, if you are wrong, don't be too proud not to admit it.
- Even if you have no friends, be nice to others. Commit to school and be polite to everyone. In this way, they will have nothing to complain about.
- Remember that your worth and dignity are not determined by the amount of friends you have. Nobody should criticize you for that. If you are down or feeling lonely, listen to some music that will lift you up. Here are some ideas: "Keep The Faith", "Man In The Mirror", "Unbreakable" and "You Are Not Alone", by Michael Jackson, "High school", by Superchick, "Through The Rain", by Mariah Carey, "When You Wish Upon A Star", by Louis Armstrong, "Something Beautiful", by Robbie Williams, "Keep Holding On", by Avril Lavigne, "Beautiful", by Christina Aguilera, and "I Will Survive", by Gloria Gaynor. Discover your favorite songs and listen to them when you are sad.
- If the sadness caused by the lack of friends does not go away, remember that you are not alone in such a situation.
- Remember: being a loner has its perks! Nobody can judge you and your thoughts are yours alone.
- If people say you're weird, take it as a compliment. It's not always nice to hear that, but it sure means you're different and unique. Smile and say thank you. Do not be offended. This is probably the reaction that those who tell you want to get.
- If you don't have friends, you don't owe anyone any explanations. But if you have friends and you feel left out, maybe you think they hate you, then talk to them and express how you feel. Don't hold back your feelings. And, as the Kid President said, everyone needs a pep talk.
- Some mental disorders, such as bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, ADHD, or autism, to name a few, make it more difficult to make friends. If you think you have a medical condition, you may want to consult a psychotherapist, doctor or other specialist.
