It's never easy to tell a girl you don't like her. Maybe it's a dear friend of yours, who has a crush on you, while you can't seem to reciprocate her feelings. Maybe it's a girl you don't know very well, who likes you a lot, and who you need to treat with kindness at the time of the bad news. Whatever the case may be, telling her you don't like her, as tactfully and firmly as you can, will be better for both of you.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Giving her the Bad News with Delicacy
Step 1. Find the right place and time
When you know you need to break the bad news to the girl, the best thing to do is act fast. That said, if you intend to do this with a certain sensitivity, then you will have to think about what the right time and place may be to tell him. It is not appropriate to catch her off guard, while she is talking to her friends and trying to pull her away, or while she is studying for her math test. Instead, choose a place that gives you some privacy and a time when she isn't distracted, busy or stressed.
That said, you can't wait indefinitely to break the news. You don't have to wait for the situation to be perfect to tell her how you feel. Just make sure you have some privacy and take it at a time when you don't seem too flustered
Step 2. Start saying something nice without giving her hope
Even if you don't mean to fool her by telling her she's the prettiest girl you've ever seen, it's a good idea to soften her up a bit before telling her you don't like her. Just say something like, "You know, I think you're an amazing girl" or "I always enjoy talking to you" to let her know that you consider her, without saying anything that seems too romantic. Be careful to choose your words so you don't get the wrong idea.
- As you talk, make sure you keep your distance so he doesn't think you're trying. You should use body language so you don't communicate an openness to her by moving away from her a bit to let her know you're not looking for intimacy.
- It's good to maintain eye contact out of respect, but don't look her in the eye so hard that you're sending her the wrong message.
Step 3. Give her the news
This is the hardest part, so the best thing you can do is say it as soon as possible. Don't talk too much, or she may get confused or have some hope that you might ask her out. Just be as honest as possible, without hurting his feelings. Make it clear that you are about to break the news, because you intend to be honest with her, minimizing the pain she will feel. Take a deep breath and tell him.
You can say something like, "I know you have feelings for me and I'm sorry to say I don't feel the same. I respect you too much not to tell you and I didn't want you to know from anyone else."
Step 4. Listen to what he has to say
Let's face it. Once you tell him, it may be that he will burn the ground under your feet and you will be looking forward to leaving as soon as possible so as not to feel embarrassed. However, the girl in front of you may be feeling very hurt, so you should have enough respect for her not to walk away right away. If he wants to share how he feels with you, let him do it, as long as the situation doesn't get upset.
- You can say something like, "I'm very sorry you think so," but don't feel the need to apologize too much. After all, you can't really avoid what you feel.
- If she gets really upset, you can comfort her a little, but you should try to cut the conversation off. It is not appropriate to give her the wrong impression.
Step 5. Tell her you intend to be her friend if you want
It's time to be realistic. If you don't know it that well and don't intend to delve into it, then go further with words. But if you're already friends or she really looks like a great girl, then you can tell her you want to be her friend. Of course, she may roll her eyes or get caught up in the excitement of the moment, as this is something so many guys say without meaning to, but if you're really serious, let her know you want to be friends with her. It will be possible once he has had time to work off the blow.
- Just say something like, "I think you're a great girl and I would love it if we were friends. But I understand it won't happen for a while."
- Or you can say, "I know everyone always says they want to be friends, but I'm serious."
Step 6. Stay on good terms
Even if the conversation isn't going to be easy, you should make sure that things take a positive turn as much as possible. You can thank her for talking to you, remind her that you want to be her friend if that's the case, remind her of the places she frequented or just try to say something positive to her. If it doesn't sound too corny or fake, you can also try to make her laugh, although it probably won't work right now. The most important thing is that you end the conversation on a positive note so he doesn't go away thinking you're a total idiot.
- You can say, "I hope you'll feel better soon. I really do" or "I'm really flattered by the way you express your feelings."
- You don't have to trivial things like, "I know the right person is coming soon," because he might roll his eyes at this point. Even if that's true, it may not be what you want to hear.
Step 7. Give it space if you want to stay in touch
If you really intend to continue to be friends with her, then you may want to take a break before asking her out with you or in a group. It may take a few weeks, or even a few months, to get over what happened, because just seeing you would risk your heart sinking. While it's still best to be friendly when you see her, let her take the lead when she's ready to date you again.
- When you meet her, just make a gesture and a smile, saying: "How are you?". If she is visibly cold and upset, then don't force things.
- If she doesn't want to be friends with you because it hurts her too much, then respect that too.
Part 2 of 3: Finding Alternative Ways to Give Her the News
Step 1. Know that talking to her in person is best
If you want to give the girl the respect she deserves, then you should tell her in person that you don't like her. However, there may be circumstances that lead you to speak to her differently. Maybe he lives in another city and you don't get a chance to see each other for a while. Maybe you really don't know her very well and don't intend to spend too much time alone with her, even if you don't want to text her. Whatever the case may be, make sure you think long and hard about whether or not you should talk to her in person before breaking the news.
If you care so much about her, then you should have the decency to talk to her in person if you have the chance
Step 2. Give her a call
The next hardest thing after having to speak in person is to call her to break the news. Get the number from one of her friends, if you don't have it (without making it sound like you want to ask her out!), And talk to her in the very best and sweetest way possible. Just say something similar to what you would have said in person, like, for example, "I'm really flattered to like me, but I thought you deserved to know I don't feel the same" and wait to hear what he has to say. While it won't be easy, you will feel better when you clear up the situation and probably a little less uncomfortable than talking to her in person.
Just say something like, "It's not easy, but I wanted to tell you that I don't like you the way you might mean it. I'm sorry to tell you, but I thought you absolutely must know."
Step 3. Send her a nice message
Of course, it is not a great idea to send important information via text message, and besides, the girl will feel quite sorry to receive the news in this way. However, if she's really pushy and you want her to get the message, you can text her so both of you can move on. He'll appreciate that you didn't neglect to tell him instead of leaving the dirty work to someone else.
Just say something like, "You know, I know you like me and I really appreciate your sincerity. But I'm sorry to tell you I don't feel the same. I thought you should know."
Step 4. Email her
Another way to tell her you don't like her is to send her a short, but sweet email. While this may not be such an intimate way to tell her what you are feeling, it may be okay if you already have such an email relationship that you can express your feelings a little deeper than texting. Just be short and sweet and tell her you don't reciprocate her feelings, ending on a positive note. Here's what you can say:
I know you like me and I just wanted to tell you that I don't feel like reciprocating what you feel about me. I hope you are well and that we will be able to date soon
Step 5. Chat with her
Another way to tell her you don't like her is to chat with her via Facebook, g-chat, or another platform. Just tell her how you feel without spending too much time chatting. If you chat with her for 20 minutes before breaking the bad news, then she may think that you really intend to deepen your knowledge or that you even want to ask her out. Just a simple "Hi, how are you?" to start the conversation and quickly get to what you are going to say.
Get out quickly. When you are online, there is no need to come up with brilliant sentences. Tell her you don't like her in the nicest way possible. Avoid saying "I don't like you" directly, saying something like, "I don't feel what you feel about me" to soften the blow
Step 6. Write her a note
Another thing you can do to give her the bad news gently is leave her a note. It can be a little more personal than an email or text message, because it will see that you wasted time writing it in person and that you chose your words carefully. You should be concise, but sweet, and make sure you give it to him when you leave school so he doesn't read it in class and express his displeasure in public.
Just write two or three sentences in which you tell her that you don't have a feeling of love for her and make sure you sign the note. Give it to him in person so that no one else can read it
Part 3 of 3: Knowing What Not to Do
Step 1. Don't talk to other people before you tell her
If you care about her and her feelings, then you shouldn't go around telling your friends, her friends, and anyone who passes by that you don't reciprocate her feelings. Even if you don't like her at all as a person, you need to give her the respect she deserves by breaking the news when you're alone instead of letting her hear it from someone else.
- Put yourself in her shoes: if you really like a girl, how would you feel if you found out that she doesn't like your feelings back?
- If her friends ask you if you like her or not, be sure to tell her you don't reciprocate her feelings instead of letting her learn from them.
Step 2. Don't tell him in public
Another thing you should avoid is communicating to her how you don't feel about her in front of other people. While you may think it is easier to get close to her at a party or while talking in a group, this will surprise her and risk upsetting her even more than in a situation where she has time to process what she is alone. it happened. While it can be difficult to be completely alone, do your best not to spread the news so you don't hurt her further.
It is not appropriate to put her in an even more embarrassing situation in front of her and your friends. Respect their feelings and privacy
Step 3. Don't fool her
Another mistake guys make when they have to tell a girl they don't like it is to delude her into being unable to tell the truth. If you're not serious, then don't say anything like "I'm not ready for a relationship right now, but maybe we can think about it in the future" or "You are the perfect girl for me, but I can't fall in love" or "I have just need some time to get over another situation right now. " While you may think these phrases soften the blow, they will actually prolong his pain and, therefore, you should avoid making any statements that aren't serious just because you think it will make the conversation easier.
Make it clear that you don't feel anything important to her and that it won't happen in the future either. The sooner he knows, the sooner he will be able to move forward
Step 4. Don't insult her when you deny her
Even if you think it's okay to be a little curt to get to the point, you should avoid telling her you don't like her because she's not your type, because you think she talks too much, or because you think she isn't smart enough for you. Also, you shouldn't even tell her you don't like her because you prefer another girl who stands higher in your ranking. Tell her you don't reciprocate her feelings and keep it up.
Avoid saying things like, "I just don't have much to say to you" or "I think you're a little annoying." There's no need to kick her when she's down
Step 5. Don't look for stupid excuses
While you may think that apologizing is the best way to avoid being hated, you should be as honest as possible. Never say, "It's not you, it's me", because every girl has heard it before. Don't say you're too busy to date a girl right now, when you know perfectly well that you have time for the right one. Don't say you don't want to commit when, in fact, you'd like to be with a different girl. Be honest with her and she'll respect you a lot more for it.
It is not worth earning a reputation as a liar. If you don't like a girl, you want her to be just as honest, right?
Step 6. Don't drag yourself into the situation
Once you know that there is a girl who really likes you and that there is no chance that her feelings will be returned, you need to let her know as soon as you find the right time and place. The longer you hang out with her even though you know you won't love what she feels, the more hope you give her, so the best thing you can do is really tell her how things are so she can move on.
While you may think it would be easier if she finds out you don't like her through word of mouth or by dating you another girl, it is your duty to her to let her know as painlessly as possible
Advice
- Avoid changing the subject. If you see the conversation moving away from the problem, bring it up again.
- Try to be nice. Sure, you're ending a relationship, but that doesn't mean you have to behave sensitively.
- Make eye contact while talking to the girl. Don't let him look down or ignore you.
- Smile and look at her seriously depending on the topic and situation. If you know that she is spreading abusive and nasty comments about you, then it is not appropriate to smile at her. If he has followed you all over to tell you that you have no taste in clothing, then go straight to the point!
Warnings
- Don't go out and say "I don't like you!" It will hurt his feelings even more than an explicit approach.
- Thinking he has bad hair doesn't mean "I don't like it." Make sure there is a good reason behind your rejection and to end your friendship with her.
