Friendly people like to meet others, appear accessible to friends and acquaintances, and are the kind of person who starts talking to their neighbor on the plane, in a queue at the pharmacy or on the bus. Does it seem difficult to you? Things can change. Being friendly means making people comfortable in your presence - as if you really enjoy talking to them. How to do?
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Be Accessible
Step 1. Smile more
You don't have to welcome every person you see with a 32-tooth smile. But if you try to smile 30% more every day, at people you know, at strangers or at acquaintances you meet, you will appear as a much more approachable and friendly person. Remember when you ran into that guy you met once and he looked away and pretended I didn't exist? How did you feel? If you want people to talk to you willingly, you should smile more often.
You can also make it a goal to smile more during a conversation
Step 2. Keep your body language open
If you want people to think that you are approachable and willing to talk to them, you will need to learn to keep body language open. Here are the things you can do to entice people to talk to you:
- Keep your legs together and not crossed.
- Maintain good posture and don't bend over.
- Keep your arms on your hips and don't cross them.
- Lean forward towards other people.
Step 3. Avoid distractions
Another way to be friendlier is to pay attention to what's going on around you instead of trying to beat the last level of Candy Crush on your iPhone. If you are always busy with your cell phone, with a book or with a computer, or even if you look at your nails to correct your nail polish, people will think you have better things to do than talk to them. Instead, commit to looking forward, smiling, and being ready for what the world has to offer. You will be surprised at how many people will think you are friendly and will turn to you.
Using your cell phone is rude, especially when you are actively talking to other people
Step 4. Look for eye contact
You should try to do this both when greeting a passerby and when talking to someone face to face. You don't always have to stare into someone's eyes to be friendly, but you should try to make eye contact with the people you talk to as much as possible so they understand that you care about them and that you think they deserve your time.
If you are walking down a corridor and the person who is passing you is the only other person present, why not look into their eyes and say "Hi" instead of looking down or pretending to be fascinated by your nails?
Step 5. Laugh often
The ability to laugh is another characteristic of friendly people. You won't have to laugh at everything one person says or it will sound fake, but you should try to laugh 20% more, especially when people try to be funny, say something funny, or when you think the other person may need to. support or a boost to self-esteem. Laughing more will not only make your conversations more positive, it will also make you seem like a friendlier person.
Laugh and smile more? A truly powerful combination
Part 2 of 3: Mastering Friendly Conversations
Step 1. Learn the art of light conversation
Knowing how to chat about this and that will help you a lot to be friendlier. You may not be able to converse like this because you are too busy, distracted, or shy. However, it's not as difficult as it sounds: you just need to put the other person at ease, find commonalities and reveal something about yourself. If you feel more comfortable, you can start to dig deeper and discuss more personal topics.
- Some people believe that small talk is entirely superficial, but this is not the case. All the best friendships and relationships are born by talking about this and that. You can't start talking to a new person about the meaning of life right away, can you?
- You can even try to have a chat with the store cashiers, just to be nice. Talk about the climate, say something about the exceptional sauce you are buying, or compliment a piece of jewelry worn by that person. You will feel more positive and the day will go by faster.
Step 2. Ask people questions about them
If you want to be friendly, you need to show real interest in people. They will need to understand that you really care about them, what they think and what they do. To be friendly, you'll need to ask a lot of simple questions that let people know you care. You shouldn't ask for anything too personal, otherwise they might get offended; keep talking about the same topic for a while, and move on to something else when you get to know the other person better. Here are some great topics to try:
- Pets.
- Favorite team.
- Favorite hobby.
- Favorite band, book or movie.
- Brothers.
- Trips.
- School or work.
Step 3. Give compliments
Sincere compliments will make you seem a much friendlier person. A small compliment at the right time will make your interlocutor think "That's really nice!" and it will make him feel more comfortable and happy in your presence. You won't have to give too serious compliments, especially at first - you might say something nice about a person's jewelry, clothing, or haircut, or maybe say they have a great sense of humor.
When talking to someone, ask yourself: "What is the best quality of this person that I would like to compliment?". You should find one in a short time
Step 4. Use people's names when talking to them
This is a simple but effective trick to make people like you more and look friendlier. If you use people's names you will show that you care about them and that you recognize their individuality. You won't have to overdo it to convey this feeling. Simply say "Hi, Elena!" when you meet a person, or "You're absolutely right, Paul" in the course of a conversation will make you seem like a friendlier person.
If someone you just met shows up, using their name a couple of times during the conversation will allow you to remember them in the future
Step 5. Know when you are cold with people
Some people are cold without even realizing it. If someone greets you with a warm "Hello!" and he approaches slowing his pace, and because he wants to talk to you; if you just say "hello" and keep walking, you will look rude. You may think you are making a neutral or committed impression, but you will often appear unfriendly instead.
If you don't hold the door to people, you don't return their smiles and you avoid looking in the direction of people you don't know even when they are around you, you are being rude
Step 6. Focus on the positive arguments
When talking to people, try to limit yourself to cheerful topics. Instead of complaining about work or school, talking about something negative that happened to you, or just being negative in general, you should say something good that happened to you that week, something you can't wait to happen or something fun that you saw on TV. Talking about more positive topics will make you seem friendlier in everyday conversations, because you will seem like a funny and attached person who is worth talking to.
- You don't have to pretend to be someone else to avoid discussing unpleasant topics.
- Of course, if something terrible has happened to you or if you really want to let off steam, go ahead. But try to say at least three positive things for every negative thing you say, so that you seem like a positive person.
Step 7. Open up more
To be friendly, you have to make yourself a little vulnerable and share something with others. However, you don't have to reveal your darkest secrets. Saying something slightly embarrassing, awkward, or weird will allow you to win people over and make them think that you don't take yourself too seriously and that you feel comfortable with them. Here are some topics you can open up about:
- Childhood pets.
- Bizarre holidays.
- A joke you played on your sister.
- A funny mistake you made.
- Something you've always wanted to do.
- Your first experience with an unusual activity.
- A story about your family.
Part 3 of 3: Enhancing Your Social Interactions
Step 1. Commit to talking to new people
This is key to being friendlier. You may be very shy or think that people you don't know are not worth your time or have something wrong. Change from today! Start chatting with strangers sitting next to you on the train, people at parties, or friends of friends you meet. Make sure you read the situation is that the person really wants to talk to you, and do it with a smile on their face.
- You won't have to talk to all the new people you meet, but the more often you do, the more natural it becomes.
- Introduce yourself to people you don't know. If you are with a group of friends and a new person comes on the scene, take the initiative.
Step 2. Invite other people more often
To be friendlier you need to show that you want to spend time with other people. How to do? Invite them to do activities with you. Start small, by inviting a group of people to the cinema, to a free concert, or to have a coffee or ice cream, and notice how friendlier you will feel when they gladly accept your invitation. Make it a goal to invite more people to do things with you at least once a week and you'll live a friendlier life.
- Be brave. Invite acquaintances to spend time alone with you and turn your relationship into a true friendship.
- Throw a party. Invite many different people and have fun introducing them to each other.
Step 3. Accept multiple invitations
Another way to be friendlier is to say yes when people ask you to do something. You may be afraid of hanging out with people you don't know well, you may be too busy, or you may prefer to be alone. However, you will have to overcome these thoughts if you want to be friendly and accept invitations to dinner, to the movies or to parties.
You won't have to agree to participate in something that sounds totally awful. The next time you want to say no, though, ask yourself why: Are you afraid of trying something new? Do you suffer from social anxiety? Or are you just lazy? These are not good reasons to deprive yourself of a happy moment
Step 4. Lead a full social life
If you want to be friendly, you will need to spend more time with your friends. Spending more time with other people will make you more socially adept and sensitive and will get you used to talking to others. You should try to fill the calendar with parties, social activities, group outings, bike rides or trips to the beach and other fun activities with friends.
- To have a full social life, you will need to make it your priority. Don't let work, school, or other commitments take up all your time - at least not too much.
- It is important to have a busy social life, but you also need to make time for yourself. You will need to decompress, especially if you are not used to spending a lot of time in the company of other people.
Step 5. Practice being friendlier to people you don't like
It may be difficult to follow this advice. You don't have to be your worst enemy's best friend to learn how to be friendlier to whoever you like, whether it's your fussy math teacher, your grouchy uncle, or the silent girl who is marginalized by everyone. You'll be surprised at how good it feels to be kinder to people, and that person may respond in a friendly way as well.
Make a list of five people you've always treated coldly. Find ways to be nice to them - if you think they deserve it
Step 6. Overcome your insecurities
You may not be the friendliest person in the world because you lack confidence and think that people will judge you every time you open your mouth. Ask yourself what is behind your lack of trust or your coldness towards other people, and try to understand if it comes from what you think about yourself. In this case, learn to love yourself, and to correct the flaws that require work on you.
Of course, it can take years of hard work to overcome your insecurities, but recognizing this problem as the basis of your difficulties in dealing with other people can make you more inclined to kindness. Remember that other people may be as insecure as you, if not more
Step 7. Befriend people of your age and social background
This means that you should not only make friends with peers, but also with people going through the same stage of life as you. For example, college students, young professionals, middle-aged mothers, or lonely elderly people. Finding people who are around your age and from the same social background as you will make your relationships easier and give you more to discuss.
For example, if you are a young mother, join a group of young mothers and you will find many great new friends
Step 8. Show genuine interest in people
This is essential to not just appear friendly, but to be truly friendly: a truly friendly person takes a serious interest in others and wants them to feel comfortable, worries when others are upset and is cheerful when others are happy; he doesn't talk to people just to look cooler or to get more friends on Facebook. If you really want to be friendly, you will need to remember this tip when talking to people. If you really care about them, they can figure it out.
- You can't of course care about all the people you meet. The more you try to be nice to people, the more natural it will come to you.
- Remember that being friendly doesn't mean being fake. Instead, it means being accessible, treating people with respect, and transmitting positive energies.
Advice
- Be yourself; don't be ashamed of who you are and always smile at people.
- Do not be shy. Also say hello to people you haven't talked to in a while. Stay in touch, you will see that they will appreciate it.
- Look in the mirror and think about the positives of your appearance. If you like yourself, others will think like you.
- Try calling people by name. If you repeat it every time you see them, you will be able to remember it better.
- Make a conscious decision to like the people you meet. You will maintain positive verbal and body language that will allow you to interact better with others.
- Never be rude or offensive.
- Always be polite!
- Don't complain to others about your problems.
- Everyone has something they really love, whether it's a passion, a pet, or a person. Try to understand what a person really loves and remember it.
Warnings
- Beware of irony. People won't always have the same sense of humor as you. It's really easy to offend someone without even realizing it - a joke that's considered offensive can get you in trouble at work or in other social settings.
- If you are too friendly, you may end up looking just creepy. You will scare people who will have a bad first impression of you.
