Many people don't take stalker behavior seriously and this can lead them into dangerous situations. A stalker is someone who pays attention to you in a way that would be scary for many. Stalking is illegal and can be accompanied by harassment or intimidation. If you feel that you are being stalked or if a person's attitude towards you worries you, do not underestimate the signals or your instincts and confess your suspicions to the local authorities. Watch out for all unusual behaviors and learn about the common traits and characteristics of stalkers.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Notice Unusual Behaviors
Step 1. Notice the urgent and constant need to contact you
A stalker may start looking for you right after they get to know you and continue to do so relentlessly. They may call you, text you, and visit you with a frequency that seems invasive to you. If contacts go beyond social norms and exceed your comfort levels, this attitude can be linked to stalking.
A person could contact you on various social networks and become "your friend", then start texting you constantly, until you feel uncomfortable
Step 2. Recognize clingy or controlling people
Those with stalker tendencies may insist that you accompany them to events, or try to join you when you meet friends or family. He may want to know where you are or what you do. You may start to feel uncomfortable if someone wants to be aware of all your travels all the time.
- If someone insists on knowing what you are doing every day, consider it a wake-up call. There is a difference between being interested in your life and becoming obsessed with your travels.
- If you're starting to date someone who does this, think carefully about meeting them again.
Step 3. Notice if the suspect knows more about you than you have disclosed
A stalker may have information about you that you never said. He may have done some research on you and know where you live, where you work, who your friends, relatives are and where you like to go. He may know the route you take to get to work, what time you go to the gym, and your routine.
You may notice that the person makes a mistake and says something you never told them. Think of it as a warning sign
Step 4. Identify social embarrassment
A stalker may not know the acceptable limits of behavior. He may be clumsy in public, have low social awareness and not integrate into groups. He may not understand what other people's relationships are and have a misconception of what others think of him. Often these bad guys have few personal relationships and low self-esteem.
Some people are simply clumsy, not stalkers. If someone doesn't seem obsessed with you, doesn't make you feel unsafe, and doesn't seem very attached to you in particular, they probably just have trouble socializing
Step 5. Consider whether the person in question respects personal space
Notice what happens if you put stakes in your relationship politely, for example by saying, "Please don't talk to me while I'm at work", or "Don't call me after 9pm, I need some time to relax in. loneliness". Normal people respect these demands, stalkers don't. They may decide to ignore what you said, try a different technique to invade your space (e.g. spy) or intimidate you so that you are afraid to distance yourself.
Some socially awkward people and those with mental disabilities have trouble reading body language. However, if you ask clearly not to do something, I am able to respect your wishes
Step 6. Beware of unexpected visits
People with stalker tendencies can show up and visit you without warning. This attitude is troubling if you have told someone you have plans and they are looking for you anyway without telling you. Don't overlook this warning sign, which indicates that a person is not respecting your limits and your privacy.
- The person may be acting innocently, but pay attention to your feelings. Do you feel uncomfortable or threatened, even slightly? Does the visit seem aggressive or intrusive to you?
- You may also notice that you often meet the person when you go out. This can be a sign that he has memorized your routine and knows where to find you at various times of the day.
Step 7. Recognize physical aggression behaviors
A stalker might just want you for himself. If you start to distance yourself from him, he may become increasingly aggressive and intimidating. The fear of being left can cause him great suffering and make him feel abandoned, to the point of pushing him to physical aggression. He may be following you closely or standing next to you, as if to say "You can't run away from me, even if you try."
Step 8. Watch out for other serious behaviors
Stalking can take many forms. If you have the feeling that a person's behavior could be considered stalking, ask the local authorities for help. Here are some of the attitudes you should immediately report:
- Vandalism on your property.
- Send you items by post, such as photographs or letters.
- Drive by your home often.
- Making false reports to the police about you.
Step 9. Respond to stalking
If you believe you are being stalked, now is the time to take action. If a person you know becomes threatening, explain in clear and unambiguous terms that you wish to be left alone. Limit the use of social networks and increase security: change your house lock, bolt the windows, change your phone number and change your daily routine. Avoid going out alone and tell your friends, family, colleagues and neighbors about your situation so they can help you stay safe.
Never face a stalker alone. Always be accompanied by someone, a friend, relative or acquaintance. If necessary, notify the police
Part 2 of 3: Observe the Personal Traits of the Stalker
Step 1. Recognize the detachment from reality
Many stalkers delude themselves into several unreal beliefs, for example they may think that you have something they want or need, that you are their only soul mate or that you know a secret they need to know.
These illusions can fuel the oppressive behavior of stalkers, who see them as real
Step 2. Identify the intensity
Many stalkers are extremely intense. When you first meet one you may notice that it stares you in the eye for a long time. You may initially think of it as an attractive feature, but after some time it can become threatening. The person may believe that a very strong bond has arisen between the two of you or that you are meant to be together.
This intensity can manifest itself in a storm of messages, frequent visits, or elaborate methods to get your attention
Step 3. Notice the obsession
Stalkers can have obsessive tendencies. They may not take "No" for an answer and may exhibit obsessive behaviors or thoughts. This obsession can be very unpleasant to other people, but a stalker does not notice the effect that one's behavior has on others.
The stalker may become so fixed in his thoughts and behaviors that stalking becomes the center of his life. For example, he may be obsessed with seeing you every day or always knowing what you are doing
Step 4. Pay attention to the need for control
Feeling in control fuels stalker behaviors. The more things a person knows about you, the more powerful they feel. Control is often achieved by knowing as much information about the victim as possible. This is especially true for social media. A stalker can ask you about photos and events in a very specific way.
If someone repeatedly asks you who the people in the photos with you are or asks you questions about a specific place you mentioned in a post, consider it a wake-up call
Step 5. View grandiose gestures with distrust
Stalkers often believe that you are the only person they can love. This romance can quickly escalate into obsession and abusive behavior. Such a person, with whom you are not in a romantic relationship, may start trying to win you over with exaggerated romantic gestures in order to show you his love. He could give you expensive gifts, take long trips just to see you, or make you a romantic and grand marriage proposal.
Part 3 of 3: Identifying a Stalker
Step 1. Consider the most common demographics
Some patterns have emerged regarding stalkers in the United States. Some characteristics to take into account are unemployment or a modest career, the age between the end of 30 and the end of 40, intelligence (often they have a diploma or degree). Stalkers tend to be men, but they can also be women.
Substance abuse and personality disorders are common among stalkers
Step 2. Find out if this is someone you know
Stalking victims are almost always harassed by someone they know, most often by an ex. This can be especially dangerous if the ex has a history of domestic violence. It could show up at your workplace and put you and other people in danger. Those who know you may know which places you frequent and threaten you.
- If you have an ex you think is dangerous, alert your workplace safety and give the employees a photo of the person in question. You could also warn co-workers of any dangers by telling them, "A dangerous person is trying to contact me. Don't leave the door open if you see it."
- Some people stalk for revenge and may be former colleagues, vengeful relatives, or friends with a streak with you.
Step 3. Identify if your stalker is a stranger
Being stalked by a stranger is as worrying as if it were a person you know, as it is impossible to know the person's motive and whether it is a danger. Some of the reasons that can lead a stranger to become your stalker are sexual desire, agreeing or disagreeing with your political views, considering yourself a celebrity, or feeling romantically rejected.
If you suspect that you are being stalked by a stranger, report it to the police
Step 4. Get help getting rid of a stalker
If you are being stalked, it is important to seek help as soon as possible. If not stopped, the attacker could put you in danger. Contact your local authorities immediately.
If you feel in danger right now, call the emergency department immediately
Advice
- If you feel threatened by someone, call the emergency department (113) or the Telefono Rosa (1522) and involve the authorities.
- Collect evidence if you want to report stalking. Keep text messages, voice messages, videos, and any other evidence that testifies to a person's stalking and threats.
- Learn about stalking laws. You can find them on this web page.
