The ticking of the clock and a sudden silence, no one says anything, time seems interminable and you only hear a tick, tick, tick. It happens to everyone sooner or later to find themselves speechless. If you still don't know how to fill some awkward silences now you can learn how to do it, it just takes a little practice.
Steps
Step 1. Know when this happens
Embarrassing silences generally arise when someone blocks the conversation following an embarrassing, rude or misplaced statement.
For example, if you are recounting your romantic date, and a friend of yours comments that he will be dating the same person tomorrow, it will create a genuine "awkward silence", and it will be so often that you can cut it with a knife! To break it, say something to play down with a joking tone of voice
Step 2. Choose a neutral topic to comment on
Sometimes we find ourselves short of speeches, so it is advisable to have a couple of ideas ready to unlock the situation in case of need.
- If you are having lunch with someone, you could make a comment on the food "am I wrong or is this the best pizzeria in the area?" Not only will you break the silence but you can offer a topic for a new conversation.
- Time is the most common argument to break the silence, and it is also the most neutral. Whenever you experience a sudden awkward silence, you can quickly fill it with a question about the weather, for example "Did you hear what a storm there was last night?"
Step 3. Listen carefully to the words of your interlocutor
In all conversations, the most important thing is to pay attention to the other's words.
- If the person you are talking to responds with a telegraphic “Yes” or “No”, the awkward silence may be more difficult to unblock. Try to reconstruct what he really thinks.
- For example if you ask him "Did you like the movie?" and he just answers "No", at which point you can ask him to specify what he didn't like, the plot? The soundtrack? You will have plenty of opportunities to get the conversation going.
Step 4. Talk about what you were able to do
It could be a good way to find things in common with your interlocutor. Avoid judging yourself better than the other and comparing what you have with what he has.
- For example, if you are sitting next to someone, and you try to start a conversation with a phrase like "I have a huge house and an Olympic size swimming pool in the garden" when you know your interlocutor lives in a tiny apartment, you are surely embarrassing him.. That person will feel uncomfortable and inadequate, they will also judge you as a braggart and try to find an excuse to leave.
- Instead, try to talk about something original that you can show off with healthy pride and humility at the same time. The ideal would be to find a topic that also interests your interlocutor. For example, if you both like outdoor activities, you could tell about an excursion you took, or when you took part in an adventurous climb. If the person in front of you is interested in continuing the conversation, they will be enthusiastic, or ask you questions about it.
Step 5. Avoid monotonous responses
Avoid answering with a single "yes" or "no" and try not to ask questions that can be answered with a single word.
- Try to avoid statements that could block the conversation, for example if your interlocutor says something nice comment with a "Yes, really nice!" rather than with an "Ah, yes". Choosing the second sentence will drag the conversation to a standstill.
- In case you find that you have transported the dialogue to a dead end, remedy the mistake yourself by trying to reactivate the conversation. At that point you could resume the initial topic or find a new one. Remember to comment in the form of a question, so that the conversation continues spontaneously.
Step 6. Prepare topics to talk about in advance
If you know you have to find yourself in a situation where you will meet new people, especially if it is an environment in which you may find yourself having a face-to-face conversation - but - you, preparing before the topics to talk about will be an advantage.
- Stick to the theme. For example, if you find yourself with people who meet because they have a common interest, if they practice the same sport, or work in the same sector, or are involved in social activities, you can start the conversation by choosing the topic that unites them.
- If it is a group of people not connected to a particular context, you can start talking about a topical issue. Try not to go into too much detail, at least until you are talking to only one interlocutor.
Step 7. Relax
Your interlocutor is also entitled to participate in the conversation, so try to ask questions that involve him. Ask him questions, let him talk about himself, don't focus all attention on you. Not only will he be happy to answer you (people generally love to talk about themselves) but he can also ask you new questions. Don't let the conversation go away because it's just you talking.
Step 8. Transfer the embarrassment to something else
If you realize that you have touched on a sensitive subject for you or the person in front of you, and the conversation is giving way to an awkward silence, avoid asking personal questions to your interlocutor, you will make things worse. At this point you need to involve an external element.
Make a sympathetic or intriguing comment about an inanimate object or a third person. For example, it tells a curious anecdote related to a particular place, to a thing, or to an eccentric character
Step 9. Think of an activity
If you want to have fun with the person you're talking to, but for whatever reason the conversation has reached a dead end, suggest something to do together.
- If you are at a party you could welcome newcomers or propose to your interlocutor to prepare cocktails for other friends, and maybe invent a new combination together!
- If you are on a date, or in a situation where you are alone with your interlocutor, you might suggest taking a walk together or any activity that is easy to undertake in the situation you are in.
Step 10. Start a new topic
If you find yourself short of words, maybe it is not your fault and that of your interlocutor, perhaps you have simply exhausted the topic. So it's time to move the conversation to something new, you can start by talking about current news, the weather or your favorite book. Anything that breaks the monotony and reactivates the conversation.
Step 11. Don't avoid your interlocutor unless you want to end the conversation
If you don't pay attention to his words you will find yourself commenting with something he has "already said before". But maybe you weren't listening.
If you start reading the messages on your mobile phone, the impression you will give to the person in front of you is "I'm sorry but this plastic object is more interesting than you at the moment". So think about it before you take out the iPhone and start swiping it. The mobile phone could give you something to do but there is a risk that the person in front of you will leave after a while
Advice
- Behave friendly and laugh often. Without exaggerating.
- If you feel the situation is getting awkward, pretend you don't notice and smile.
- If your interlocutor says something that could trigger a new topic, take the opportunity to talk about it. For example, if you start by talking about the rain, and he comments that he is worried about his dog if a thunderstorm comes, you can continue the conversation on the subject of pets, or whatever topic relates to the situation.
- Ask about his family, but try not to touch on some topics that might embarrass him (such as illness or a relationship that has ended).
- Know when it's time to leave the conversation. If you feel that at the moment there is not a good dialogue with the person in front of you, smile, apologize and leave the scene. Find one of your friends and start talking to him, or just go out for a breath of fresh air.
- If you like animals you can use this topic to start a new conversation. If they don't like them then try to understand from the words of your interlocutor what they would be interested in.
- If you really don't know what to talk about, sometimes it's best to stay silent. At that point you could make a strange expression or focus your gaze on an object. The other person will perhaps ask you what you are looking at, and at that point you can think of a nice comment to revive the situation. It all depends on the person in front of you, if it's your friend you could make him laugh with a really funny comment. A laugh is always a good way to unblock an awkward situation.
- If you don't understand what your interlocutor is talking about, ask him to explain it to you.
- In an embarrassing moment, you can pull a funny joke out of your repertoire to break the ice.
- If you're on a date and the conversation, and even the company, gets boring, come up with an excuse and leave the scene. Do you have to bathe the cat? Or maybe there is your favorite TV show?
