If a guy expresses his interest in you, but you don't reciprocate his feelings, you can feel like you're in a difficult situation. Don't you want to deceive him, but neither do you want to hurt him? The best way to solve the problem is to talk to him. During the conversation, you need to be completely honest about how you feel.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Prepare for the Conversation
Step 1. Make sure they like you
If you're not absolutely sure that a guy has feelings for you, don't do anything. You could ruin a friendship if you acted on gossip that other people have told you or on assumptions you have made. There are some signs that can let you know if someone really likes you.
- He always asks you out.
- Always seek physical contact.
- He always wants to see you alone.
Step 2. Don't procrastinate
The longer you wait, the worse the situation will get. His feelings will grow and it will become impossible to maintain a friendship when you have to tell him the truth.
Step 3. Don't avoid it forever
You can pretend to believe that he will "understand" if you just avoid it. Not gonna happen. You will have to find the right time to talk to him. Pick a time when you are alone so you don't embarrass him in front of a group of people.
Step 4. Prepare an action plan
Write what to say before the meeting. If you don't find the right words, you will lengthen the conversation, make it more awkward and worse than it should be. Write down the reasons why you are not interested in him. Of course, don't attack him with rude phrases, such as saying he's ugly, but be honest about why you don't like him.
- You can't forget your ex.
- You are not physically attracted to him.
- You like another person.
Step 5. Talk on the phone
If your conversation will take place on the phone or by text, you can still follow all the advice described here. Remember that the most important thing is not to leave room for doubt. Make sure she understands that there are no possibilities for a relationship in the future.
Part 2 of 3: Addressing the Discussion
Step 1. Recognize the seriousness of the situation
You will need to make it clear to the guy who likes you that you want to have an adult conversation. That way, he'll know you're speaking truthfully. If you don't start with these words, they may not understand the importance of what you are about to say.
Step 2. Be kind
Reject it without making it suffer. Add a compliment or two but let him know he's not your type.
- "You are a very good friend, but we can't be together."
- "You'll make some girls very happy, but it won't be me."
Step 3. Let him know he has to "back off"
Even after you explain why you don't like him, he may not fully understand. For this you will have to continue the conversation to explain clearly that there will be nothing between you.
- "We will not have a romantic relationship".
- "We can remain friends, but we can't go any further."
- "Between us there is not the right alchemy".
Step 4. Make sure your feelings can't change
If you didn't tell him clearly that you can't change how you feel, he might hold on to that hope. Leave no room for uncertainty. Also establish ground rules for your friendship (if you continue to have one).
Step 5. Be honest
Allow him to ask you questions if he wishes and answer truthfully. There is no point in trying to protect his feelings with lies - tell him the truth. This will help him move forward faster.
Step 6. Listen to it if needed
It will be helpful to rehearse the conversation in your head before talking to the guy, but you may also end up with preconceptions about how your meeting will go. Don't attack him with your thoughts, but sit in front of him and listen to what he has to say so that he does the same with your words.
Step 7. Ask if you are done
To make sure he understands what you said, ask him what he thinks about it. Don't make concessions and don't let him leave without realizing you don't like him. Leave no room for doubt.
Part 3 of 3: What to do after the conversation
Step 1. Be polite
Just because you've told a guy you don't like him doesn't mean you should ignore him or be rude. Don't think he was weakened or hurt by your choice. He will be able to carry on, so treat him like a normal human being.
Step 2. Give it space
Do not try at all costs to understand how he is. If you meet him, be friendly, but don't contact him in any other way. Rejections are bad and if you constantly remind him of what you said, you will make him suffer more. This could lead to a lack of self-esteem, anger or even aggression - not becoming the cause of these problems.
Step 3. Don't fool him
If he decides that you can remain friends after speaking, be sure to clearly establish what behaviors are appropriate. You can talk about it later if you need to reflect. Discussing these topics will help both of you overcome what you have previously told each other.
- Decide if comments about the other person's appearance are acceptable.
- Determine if physical contact (hugging, holding hands, etc.) is still appropriate.
Advice
- Give him a few compliments so he doesn't get too down on it.
- Don't be surprised if she reacts with anger or a defensive attitude. It is not easy to accept rejection.
