Being understanding means taking some time to think about how others feel. To be truly understanding, you need to know how to put yourself in others' shoes, be tactful, kind, and friendly. Sometimes, we are so busy with our needs that we forget how around we have other people who may be hurt or offended by our behavior. Dedicating to being understanding can help you be more aware of the needs of those around you while still following your needs. If you want to know how to be a more understanding person, start with Step 1 to get on the right track.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Having a Comprehensive Optics
Step 1. Put yourself in someone else's shoes
Before talking to a friend, colleague, neighbor, or teacher, ask yourself how that person might be feeling at the time. Maybe you're mad at your roommate and want to tell him he's too messy, or you want to ask your best friend to stop calling you so often. So, before expressing how you feel, you need to think about how the other person will react, and put yourself in their shoes. While you may not have to completely change what you meant to fit the other person's needs, thinking about the situation from their perspective can help you better articulate what you want to say while minimizing harm.
- Maybe your roommate is really messy, but maybe he's the one who always does the shopping. You should find ways to bring out his qualities along with his flaws, so that he doesn't get defensive or think he doesn't appreciate him as a roommate.
- Maybe your best friend calls you so often because he's been lonely since being dumped by his girlfriend or boyfriend. You can still tell him what you meant, but think about his feelings and try to see her from his point of view before proceeding.
Step 2. Anticipate the needs of others
One aspect of being understanding is knowing what others need even before they themselves understand it. If you go out for lunch with colleagues, get napkins for everyone. If you go to the beach with friends, bring an extra umbrella for them. If you know your husband will be late for the office, leave him dinner ready in the fridge. Be attentive to the needs of others, even before they express them, so that you can be a truly understanding person.
- People will be grateful to you and will be struck by your attention.
- You don't have to do it because you want something in return, but because you really want to help others.
Step 3. Be understanding with others in public
Many people tend not to think about their surroundings when they are in public. Next time you go out, think about how others might see what you do, and how they react. You may think that talking loudly on the phone with your friend while you are at the bar is innocent, while you may be annoying other people who are chatting or eating. Here are other ways to be understanding in public:
- Keep your voice at normal volume, whether you are talking on the phone or with friends
- Avoid taking up too much space
- If you are in the classroom, avoid opening something loudly or moving around enough to distract others
- See where you go instead of texting while you walk
Step 4. Be understanding of the financial situation of others
Before you ask your friends or other people to pay for something, you should keep their financial situation in mind. If your friend is out of money, don't ask him to go eat in the poshest place in town - unless you're the one offering. You may not think about it if you are financially well, but you don't want to put others in awkward situations because they can't pay. Here are some ways you can make sure you are understanding about the financial situation of others:
- If you're planning a wedding, think about your guests. Can your best man really afford a $ 500 dress, or a bachelor party abroad? Can your guests afford to pay for a flight to come to your ceremony? Of course, it's your party, but you need to make sure the people involved don't have to drain their bank accounts to attend.
- If you go out with people who don't have a lot of money, find cheap things to do, like take advantage of happy hours or maybe go see a second-run movie instead of going from bar to bar or to the theater. Don't embarrass others by making them admit that you can't afford some things.
Part 2 of 3: Being Understanding During a Conversation
Step 1. Choose your timing carefully
Being understanding means knowing the best time to say something. The most harmless comment can become offensive if you say it at the wrong time. Make sure the people you talk to are in the right mindset to hear your comment, don't interrupt anything or cause complications with what you are about to say. Here are some ideas on how to pick the moment:
- For example, maybe you have good news to share, maybe you're engaged. This news is perfect for a happy hour with friends, but if your colleague is talking about her mother's funeral, then you should put it off for another occasion.
- On the other hand, if you have some bad news to give, make sure the person is in the right frame of mind. If your friend is talking enthusiastically about her pregnancy, now is certainly not the time to say you were dumped.
- If you have to say something negative to a coworker, make sure you do it when the person isn't caught off guard. Set a time to talk to him instead of casually making this negative comment when he least expects it.
Step 2. Choose your words carefully
If you want to be understanding, then you need to know that the words you use are as important as the message you want to give. If you want people to accept it without feeling bad about it, then you need to think carefully about the words you will use when you talk to them. Whether you're looking for a gentle way to give a negative judgment or even find the right way to compliment someone, it's important to keep in mind that words matter. Here are some things to keep in mind when choosing your words:
- Even if you are giving a negative judgment, you can find a subtle way to express it. You can tell a co-worker that "he could be more efficient" instead of saying he is "slow", or you can tell a very pressing friend that you are feeling a little choked by him instead of telling him that he is "clingy".
- You can also make your message sound less offensive if you don't directly use the word "you" each time. For example, instead of telling your girlfriend, "You're paranoid," you can say, "I'm worried about the lack of trust in our relationship." This still sends the message without your girlfriend feeling accused of anything.
Step 3. Don't monopolize conversations
Another thing that non-understanding people do is talk all the time without understanding that others don't care. It's one thing to have a great story to tell, but if you're always the one who talks and talks and doesn't let others talk, then you're definitely not understanding. The next time you talk in a group or with another person, be aware of how much you talk about others. Make sure you give others a chance to intervene, ask them how they are, how they feel. This is very understanding.
- If you have a chat with a friend in the hallway or at lunch, make sure you both have time to tell how it goes. If you tell your friend about your day and what you are going to do next weekend and then say hello to him, you are not very understanding.
- You should also be understanding when you are thinking about what to talk about. Do your co-workers really want to hear you talk about problems with your friend they don't know? Or does your best friend want to hear you talk at length about the meeting at work?
Step 4. Thank others
It is also understanding to give heartfelt thanks to others for something they have done for you. It can be something big, like letting you stay with them for three weeks while looking for an apartment, or something smaller, like having coffee. No matter how small the gesture is, it's important to thank people so they know how much you appreciate it, and understand that you don't expect people to be nice to you. Make eye contact and give that person 100% of your attention when you thank them to show that you mean it.
- If you've been a long-time guest at a friend's house or someone has done something very nice for you, send them a bottle of wine or a basket to show them you care. Sometimes just say "Thank you!" it is not enough.
- Get into the habit of writing thank-you cards to show your appreciation. This is a much appreciated and often forgotten gesture.
- You can even go beyond saying "thank you" and explain why that person's action matters so much to you. For example, you can say something like, "Maria, thank you for making me dinner the other night. I was so stressed out at work that day, and you helped me get better."
Step 5. Apologize when you make a mistake
Even understanding people have shortcomings. If you made a mistake, whether it was hurting someone or accidentally hitting someone, you need to make sure you apologize for your actions. Don't say "Sorry" and look away like you don't care; forced to look in the eye, tell the person how sorry you are, and say it won't happen again. Taking responsibility for something is much more understanding than putting it all under the rug and hoping it will go away on its own. While apologizing may be unpleasant, the other person will appreciate it.
Understanding people know when to apologize because they are aware of hurting someone's feelings, even if they didn't mean to. If you've hurt someone, don't say something like, "I'm sorry you were hurt when I …" This kind of language ends up blaming the other person and shunning your responsibilities
Step 6. Be tactful
Being tactful is very important when you want to be understanding. Being tactful means knowing how to make a statement without offending the people around you; it doesn't mean you have to lie to carry it out. To be tactful, you need to be able to judge or criticize in a gentle and thoughtful way that gets the message across without hurting your feelings. You also need to listen and be aware of the people around you so you can make sure they respond positively.
- If you find yourself offending someone, then they will be less likely to accept your criticism. Giving information in a kinder way will make others feel better and more likely to change; it is a win-win situation for everyone.
- For example, if you want to tell your colleague that he's been a bit slow lately, you can say something like this: "I find that your projects are always very detailed and thoughtful. I was wondering, though, if there was no way to maintain quality. of your work by speeding up the times a bit."
Part 3 of 3: Acting Comprehensively
Step 1. Do kind acts for others when you see them in trouble
Being understanding means recognizing when someone needs your help even before they ask you for it. This goes from opening the door for a person with their hands full to grabbing a snack for your friend under study for exams. As long as you don't find yourself giving help to people who don't need it, that way you will be understanding. Keep your eyes peeled for those situations, big or small, where you can really help someone. Always look to see if someone needs something, even if that person is afraid to ask. Here's how to be understanding:
- Keep the door open for others
- Move the chair to seat them
- Make room for those who sit next to you
- Have older people sit in your seat when you are on the train or bus
- Get coffee for your colleague when you go to get it for yourself
- Helping your parents with housework when they are too busy
- Run an errand for your friend or roommate
Step 2. Follow good manners
Another aspect of being understanding is showing good manners. If you want to be understanding, then don't be rude, don't overdo the noise, or don't be pushy. You don't have to be Prince Charming, but have those basic manners that make the people around you feel comfortable and considered. Whether you go out with your friends or go to your grandmother's 80th birthday party, you must always show good manners, even if the meaning of "good manners" can change depending on the context you are in. Here are some examples of good manners:
- Don't swear or overdo it with bad words
- If you burp, apologize
- Put a napkin on your legs when sitting at the table and avoid getting dirty with food
- Don't suck soda noisily
- Make room for others on the sidewalks
- Avoid vulgar or inappropriate arguments in front of the wrong people
Step 3. Share
Another way to be understanding is to share with others. You may have brought a box of your mom's delicious cookies for lunch and you can't wait to devour them all, but you should ask your coworkers if they want any. Maybe you've brought some cool stickers to school that you can't wait to post on your journal. Then ask your friends if they want to have fun too! You can also share clothes, your space, or something else that has meaning to you with the people around you. Remember that if you share something you don't really care much about, then it's not really sharing.
Sharing isn't just for children or between relatives. It is an important quality for understanding people of all ages
Step 4. Be on time
One of the least understanding things you can do is act as if your time is more important than that of others. You may not do it on purpose, but if you arrive late - especially if you do it habitually - it sends the message to others that you don't really care much about their time. Whether it's five minutes late for class, half an hour late for work, or forty-five minutes late to meet friends for lunch, this will make others feel very annoyed and think you don't care. they.
- Obviously, if you're going to a party or event with a lot of people, arriving on time may not matter - in fact, arriving at a party at the right time can be a little bizarre. But if you force someone to wait for you, then that's downright rude.
- If you know you're going to be late, don't lie about your position ("I'm right on your doorstep!") Believing it makes things better. Be honest that you will arrive 10 or 15 minutes late.
Step 5. Make gestures of courtesy towards others
This is another aspect of understanding. Instead of just being sympathetic to people who are close to you, you can also be sympathetic to strangers, especially those who would do well with a little attention. You can keep the door for others, put some change in the tip box at a club, pay a compliment to someone you pass on the street, give a parking ticket with an hour left to the person who just arrived, or help. an old woman carrying the groceries to her car.
- Make it a habit to look for opportunities to help others, it will make you a more understanding person.
- Of course, you need to make sure the other person welcomes your courtesy gesture. You certainly don't want to bother someone who wants to be left alone.
Step 6. Keep your spaces tidy
It is important to keep your spaces tidy, whether you want to be a sympathetic guest, an understanding roommate or family member, or just a sympathetic person. If you live alone, it is good to keep your spaces in order anyway, but you should be understanding especially towards those around you. Make your bed, take out the trash, wash the dishes, and don't let others do it for you. This is an important aspect of being understanding, at any age.
Uncomprehending people expect the world to revolve around them, and for others to take out the trash. This shows how they believe they are more important than others and expect people to act accordingly. You don't want to be such a person
Advice
- Make it your habitual way of doing things that are courteous to others.
- Be patient in learning this new personality trait of yours!
- Practice makes (almost) perfect!
- Another way to practice understanding is to volunteer to work with children; just act as if you believe the things they say even if it's not true.
