Half of the population is estimated to be introverted (sometimes called "loners"). Despite this statistic, society appears to be trying to make introverts feel they are in the wrong. Thankfully, on balance many love being alone and prefer to curl up on the sofa to watch a movie rather than go to a party. If you are a loner, learn to accept this characteristic of yours, find out how to spend time alone and how to have fun when you go out alone. You will understand that you are fine as you are and that there are many other people just like you.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Being Happy Being Alone
Step 1. Consider why you like to be alone
If you've started to think that you need to try hard to be more sociable or worry that something is wrong, remember the reasons why you like to be alone. If necessary, list them. As soon as you start to feel insecure, you can refer to this list.
For example, many loners find that time alone allows them to "recharge their batteries" by engaging in a creative activity or simply relaxing with a good book
Step 2. Be proud of your strengths
Some think extroversion is an ideal character trait. However, more and more research supports the benefits of introversion. For example, some studies have found that introverts can be great leaders, as they are good at giving their subordinates space to try new ideas and listen to others.
- An extrovert recharges energy through social interactions and unusual experiences, while an introvert is more introspective. An introvert needs to be alone and often feels drained from intense social interactions.
- There is also a strong correlation between introversion and creativity. Remember that many famous artists, writers and scientists are considered loners, just think of J. K. Rowling, Emily Dickinson and Isaac Newton.
Step 3. Accept yourself for who you are
To peacefully enjoy your way of being, it is essential to accept yourself for who you are. If you want, you can definitely make an effort to become more sociable. But if you are genuinely happy when you are alone, why try something different?
When you find yourself being critical of yourself, try to change your point of view, turning it from negative to positive. For example, if you think, "People think I'm a loser because I don't like going to parties," remember why you find it hard to attend these kinds of events. Example: "I know people don't understand how exhausting it is for me to go to a big party, but staying at home makes me happy, so I shouldn't worry about what they think."
Step 4. Learn what you can from criticism and ignore everything else
It can be difficult to deal with people who judge your habits, especially if you care about them. Sooner or later someone may scold you for preferring to be alone. Think about it to see if they can actually teach you something or if they just can't understand your reasons as they are different from you.
- They may tell you that you are not making an effort to be sociable or that you have something wrong. If you think the person who criticizes you is really trying to help you, then listen to them.
- If you love the person who criticizes you, try explaining that you are made this way and that you need to be alone to recharge. For example, you might say, "You love going to parties and surrounding yourself with friends. I am happy the way I am and I like my life."
- If you don't know the person who criticizes you well or you don't care about their opinions, then shake off their judgment. Remember that his words reflect his thoughts and beliefs, they are not indicative of what is right or wrong.
Step 5. Nurture relationships that you think are important
As loner as you are, it is possible that you have a couple of good friends or relatives that you rely on and who form your closest social circle. Spend time on these relationships so that you have all the support you need in difficult times.
If you don't have friends and don't feel the need to have them, don't worry. However, make sure you can count on at least one person (such as a family member) in difficult times
Part 2 of 3: Carving Out and Spending Time Alone
Step 1. Disconnect from social networks
If the various social networks take a lot of time, try to limit yourself. It has been proven time and again that social networks induce one to compare one's life with that of others, which often leaves a feeling of inadequacy.
When you open social networks, remember that people publish only the best moments of the day, maybe even exaggerate what they share in their posts
Step 2. Create a personal space
If you live with other people, you probably have your own bedroom. You can take advantage of it to make it your personal space and fill it with things that make you feel good. If you share it with brothers, sisters or roommates, finding a lonely place can be a little more difficult. In this case, maybe you can find a closet or a corner that nobody goes with to spend time alone.
- You can also look for a lonely place outside the home. No one guarantees you that you will enjoy a moment of absolute peace, but a park is often ideal for being on your own without being bothered.
- If you have your own room, close the door when you need to be alone. If that's not enough to dissuade people, then place a sign urging them not to disturb.
Step 3. Get up earlier or go to bed later
If you can't find a quiet spot in the house or outside, try getting up an hour or two earlier than the others. If that's not possible, go to sleep later. Maybe this way you can have a moment of solitude without being bothered by parents, brothers, sisters and / or roommates.
- However, be careful with this step. Getting up earlier or going to bed later can cause you to sleep less. Sleep is important to enjoy good mental and physical health, so don't give up too many hours of rest in the name of solitude.
- Take advantage of this moment to do whatever makes you happy. For example, engage in a creative activity, meditate, or engage in work that you are unable to do when others are around.
Part 3 of 3: Quitting Alone
Step 1. Do something you enjoy
It can sometimes be difficult for a loner to leave the house, as he wonders what he could possibly do alone without feeling uncomfortable. However, if you think about it for a moment, you will find that you can do a lot of fun things on your own.
- It's nice to go to the movies alone. Find a movie you want to see and enjoy it with a nice popcorn bucket. Going to the cinema in company has many benefits, but if you think about it for a moment it is useless, as you exchange very few words while watching.
- Try different coffee shops. For some years now, cafes where you can have a coffee and stop and do something else have been in vogue. In fact, more and more venues of this type are opening. Bring a book or, if you like drawing, a sketchbook. Order a coffee or tea and enjoy a few hours away from home.
- Try a restaurant that interests you. You have no reason to feel embarrassed if you want to go alone. Are you afraid that people may stare at you? Do this at a less busy time.
- Go for a walk or a run in the park. Going out and enjoying nature is another great activity to do in solitude. Running or walking is good for the mind and body.
Step 2. Bring a book or put on headphones
A lonely person may feel nervous when going out as they fear that someone might try to approach for a chat. If you want to avoid this, put on headphones or bring a book to read while you wait or are on public transport. That way others won't feel in the mood for futile chatter.
This does not guarantee that no one will speak to you. Some particularly social people are hard to discourage. If someone talks to you and you don't care about the conversation, answer concisely and don't ask questions that stimulate them
Step 3. Enjoy the moment
If you are not used to going out alone, you may feel like everyone is staring at you and get distracted by it, risking not savoring the moment. Try to remember that others are unlikely to really care about what you are doing or why. If you get used to going out on your own regularly, you will realize that most people are busy with their daily schedules. While it takes some practice, whenever you go out alone focus on how what you're doing makes you feel, rather than thinking about how other people are feeling.
If you can't focus on yourself, the experience of going out alone can drain you as much as that of doing it with other people
Step 4. Try to talk to a stranger from time to time
Depending on your work or your studies, it is possible that days or weeks go by without speaking to anyone. For example, if you work from home, you may not have to talk to anyone at all. While this can make you feel perfectly comfortable, socializing has been shown to be good for everyone (even loners) from time to time.
