A simple dye is eventually washed off the hair. No problem, right? Not really: getting your parents to let you color your hair can be very difficult if they want you to keep a natural good look. You may be able to do this by exposing the arguments in your favor, making compromises, and doing all the necessary research before starting the discussion.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Doing Research
Step 1. Collect information on hair dyes
Decide which color and which product to use. Look for reviews to make sure the brand you have chosen is of good quality.
- Some dyes are produced by the same brands that trade shampoos, conditioners and hairspray. Choose one of your parents' favorite brands.
- Products to protect skin and hands from stains are not always sold together with color. Check the packaging.
Step 2. Learn about the risks of hair coloring
The dyes contain hydrogen peroxide, which damages the hair. A single treatment is unlikely to ruin your hair, but still consider the risks.
The likelihood that you are allergic to color is low, but a small patch of skin is still worth testing before applying the product all over your head. Pour a drop of dye on your wrist or ankle and wait 24 hours to make sure no allergic reactions appear
Step 3. Make sure that the color you choose is one of those allowed by your school or office code of conduct
Don't risk getting in trouble. If your school doesn't allow for unusual colored hair, your parents will likely object to your idea.
Respect the age limits. If the package says "Not recommended for people under 16", do not use that product if you are 13. You could cause severe damage to your hair follicles
Part 2 of 3: Finding Good Reasons to Dye Your Hair
Step 1. Offer the question tactfully
Start by discussing the topic of hair coloring. At dinner, ask your parents: "What do you think about hair coloring?". Then explain that you have been thinking about this for a long time and would like to try dyeing your hair. Describe exactly what you would like to do. Avoid saying "All my friends do it" and similar phrases; your parents would react immediately with a response like: "What if all your friends jumped off a bridge?".
It uses first-person affirmations, which sound less accusatory and pretentious. For example, you might say "I'm getting older and I'd like to try out a new look by dyeing my hair" rather than "You should get my hair dyed because I'm grown up now."
Step 2. Explain that this is not a permanent change
The product will gradually fade away every time you wash your hair. You can say, "I found a temporary dye that could allow me to experiment with a new hairstyle without making any drastic changes." You will ease the worries of your parents, because even if they don't like the color result, they will know that it is a temporary situation.
You shouldn't lie to your parents, so make sure you find a non-permanent dye before talking to them
Step 3. Offer to pay for the dye and all other necessary staining products
If you say you are willing to pay everything out of your own pocket, you will demonstrate your commitment and maturity. Also, saving your parents an expense can only be good for your cause. For example, you can say, "I have thought a lot and am willing to pay for the color and all the necessary products out of my own pocket."
Step 4. Tell your parents that you are ready for the worst
If they don't want to have your hair dyed because they fear the color will ruin it, say you would rather learn the lesson and pay the consequences than do nothing. You can say, "I've been researching what to do if the dye doesn't look the way I want it" and "I know that to reduce the damage to my hair I will need to take care of it after dyeing it." Explain to your parents that you will face all the consequences of your choice.
It may be helpful to explain to your parents that you understand what can go wrong, such as that the color may not look the way you want it and that your hair can be damaged. Know all the possible negative consequences before talking to them and study possible solutions
Step 5. Tell your parents why you want to dye your hair
Don't just tell them you want to, but describe your thinking in detail. Some people like to color their hair because they have the possibility to better control their appearance, others want to change their look to feel more self-confident. Find out what is the reason that motivates your desire and explain it to your parents.
An example of an acceptable motivation for dyeing your hair is the desire to want to try this experience now, when you are young and do not have many responsibilities. This way, you will be able to decide with more awareness in the future
Part 3 of 3: Making Compromises
Step 1. Let your parents know that if the procedure goes wrong, you would be willing to dye your hair your natural color
Often, you will receive a yes if you meet the needs of your parents. For example, include this "clause" in your agreement: if the dye looks bad, you would be willing to go back to your natural color. You can say, "I'm ready to go back to my natural color if I don't like the color or if it doesn't suit me."
Step 2. Suggest that a professional do the dye
If your parents are concerned that you, or a friend you asked for help, might make mistakes when applying the color, this solution may solve the problem. You can say: "If you are worried that I might get the treatment wrong, I can always have it done by a professional. In that case you would have nothing to fear about the quality of the result".
The only downside to this trade-off is that the treatment will cost a lot more
Step 3. Let your parents choose the color together with you
Find an agreement on the new color for your hair. That way, you all have control over the situation. You might say, "I'll try a color closer to my natural tone first, if that makes you more comfortable."
If you can't get your parents to let you dye your hair the color you want, ask if you can dye it the same color they currently have. When they see that the procedure hasn't ruined your hair, they won't be able to object to a different color
Step 4. Ask if you can only dye part of your hair
Instead of coloring all of your hair, ask for permission to get some highlights, streaks or a shatush. You can say, "Maybe instead of dyeing all of my hair, I could just color the tips. That way the difference won't be as noticeable and I would always have the option to cut the tips if my appearance wasn't what I wanted." Purple can also be visible under your natural color. If you have long hair, then compromise on coloring only the tips; if something went wrong or if your parents didn't like the result, you could always cut them off.
Step 5. Ask if you can have colored extensions applied instead of the dye
If your parents are adamant about hair coloring, suggest buying and coloring clip extensions to evaluate your appearance with the new color. This is a very easy temporary solution to change if you or your parents don't like it.
Advice
- Behave like an adult when you talk to your parents and they may treat you as such, granting you permission. Don't complain and don't raise your voice.
- If they say no, reply that you understand their position and that you will come to terms with it. That way, you will demonstrate your maturity. After some time they may decide to retrace their steps if you try again to ask for their permission after a few weeks.
- Tackle the problem with maturity. Don't complain, don't beg and don't talk out of turn. Prepare the speech in your head in advance. If you receive a no, bring it up again in the future when you are even more prepared.
- Don't expect your parents to say yes. Explain that they can reflect as much as they like and let you know when they have decided (if they don't seem inclined to give you permission to color your hair); they will think you are mature and open-minded.
Warnings
- Always follow the directions printed by the manufacturer on the packaging. Whoever prepared the dye can offer you the best advice on how to use it.
- Be well informed. There are unwritten rules and known consequences regarding hair coloring: black hair turns orange with simple hydrogen peroxide, some shades of brown or ash blonde can turn blonde hair green, etc. If in doubt, ask a professional for advice.
- Make sure you get help from an adult or friend who is more experienced than you.
- If your parents don't give you permission to dye your hair, don't go out and do it on the sly! You would only make them angry and they would no longer make any concessions to you until you are an adult. Be patient and wait for their consent.
