Being respected is one thing, but demanding respect is another and some people seem to attract respect from the moment they walk into a room. Research shows that sometimes we judge leaders not by the results they get, but by the way they present themselves; this fact is even more important if we think that people form an idea of us in the first 7 seconds of meeting us, and this is usually the impression they will keep over time.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Making a Strong First Impression
Step 1. Exudes confidence with your body language
Remember that the important thing is not how you feel, but how people looking at you think you feel. It's a common problem with body language - often our non-verbal cues don't convey what we want. You may be limp because you are tired, but others may interpret it as a sign of disinterest. Or you feel more comfortable with your arms intertwined in front of your chest, but others will see you as tough and unapproachable; and keeping your hands stiff on your hips or stuck in your pockets gives the impression that you are insecure or that you are hiding something, even if you are not really.
- To demonstrate confident body language, you need to stand up straight without bumps, look straight ahead of you or the people you are talking to instead of the floor, and keep your hands relaxed and ready to gesticulate when needed.
- Don't play with your hair, clothes or hands all the time, or you will look bored or insecure. Keep your body alert and active, giving you a demeanor.
Step 2. Check your facial expressions
Have you ever been asked a difficult question in front of other people? You probably wanted to look knowledgeable, confident, and pleasant, but what if you clenched your jaws, raised your eyebrows, or grimaced as if you were looking for the answer? Or what if you sighed, smiled smugly, and shook your head? What do you think of the people around you doing this? So be careful how you react.
- Keep your facial expression positive and confident, smile slightly, don't look down, and avoid frowning or biting your lips.
- As you speak, you have to show that you believe in what you say, not have an expression that says "I can't believe what is coming out of my mouth".
Step 3. Don't underestimate the power of touch
We are programmed to feel closer to someone we have physically come in contact with. The person he touches also feels more united. A firm touch is more effective than a light touch, which can make someone a little uncomfortable. It is a compelling force and even a very short touch can create a human bond. A touch of the arm that lasts a mere quarter of a second not only makes the recipient feel better, but also makes the donor appear more cordial and affectionate.
Even in an adult business setting, a study has shown that people remember much more easily than someone they shook hands with
Step 4. Adapt your body language to your words
When body language is out of sync with words, people will believe what they see, not what they hear. It is crucial to communicate in a congruous way, this by standardizing your body in support, rather than in contrast, of the prefixed message. Mixed signals have a negative effect on performance and make it virtually impossible to build trusting relationships. When your non-verbal cues contradict your words, the people you're addressing (employees, customers, voters) are confused. And, if forced to choose, they will ignore the words and believe what the body says.
For example, if someone addresses an audience by inviting them to join a discussion and does so by standing behind a lectern or away from the audience, or by putting their hands in their pockets, the audience will believe the non-verbal cues that that person is not. she is actually interested in listening to other people's comments, that she doesn't care
Step 5. Remember that you are never off camera
As a leader, you are always communicating. People are constantly looking at their leaders, and your "off camera" behavior is closely monitored. In the words of a wise leader "What I do in the hall is more powerful than anything I say in front of an audience". You can't give an emphatic, catchy speech and then step off the stage and scold an employee or family member on the phone without risking losing respect.
If you say something to some people and soon after they see you doing something that contradicts your own words, how can you have their respect?
Step 6. Think less, small and slower
Have you ever wondered why men are perceived as leaders more often than women? Men tend to use fewer, smaller and slower movements. Following a research, it was found that on average women make 27 main gestures when entering a room for a meeting, while men do only 12. Women who manage to become leaders use fewer and slower movements. like men. So if you want to get respect, slow down and don't gesticulate too much.
Part 2 of 3: Having a Strong Character
Step 1. Be a good example
If you want to command respect, you have to be a good example to people. They should see the way you live your life and be inspired by it. It might seem a little generic, but you just have to live the way you think is ideal. Be courteous to people, achieve your goals, give your all to work, and find time for kindness and generosity in your life.
If you are a person who lives with class, dignity and grace, you will be respected for your strong character
Step 2. Don't take advantage of other people
Commanding respect does not mean taking advantage of others. If you want to be respected, you have to be respectful and kind to others first, rather than making them your lickers or dogs in tow. Don't take advantage of inferior people in your office, friends in need, or condescending siblings. It won't make you look smarter to have someone do everything for you; on the contrary, you will seem like a person who does not care about anyone else, and nothing will make you lose respect more than this situation.
If people respect you, they will be happy to work with you to achieve common goals. But if you're just using people for money, games, and favors, they'll soon notice
Step 3. Treat everyone with the same level of respect
Even if you are the CEO of your company, it does not mean that you have the right to be mean to the postman. You should be grateful for the position you have achieved and treat the people above and below you with kindness and attention. This means that you should respect people in positions of authority and also pay attention to those who work under you; if you yell at a waitress or are mean to a new employee, others will see that you don't use good manners with your neighbor.
Sure, getting to the top of your society can earn you some respect. But giving the lunch delivery guy an extra tip will earn you even more
Step 4. Avoid bragging about your achievements
Maybe you are so desperate for the respect of others that you feel the need to flaunt every little thing you have been able to do, from winning the tennis trophy in middle school to the New York marathon. However, if you work hard and remain modest, people will still come to know about your results and be impressed. If you are the one who has to show the great things you have done, your achievements will lose their charm.
It takes some time for people to notice all the results you have achieved, but when it does, it will be worth the wait
Step 5. Praise people instead of gossiping about them
If you want to get respect, people need to see that you are so busy with the important things in life that you don't have time to think about who's been out with whom on the weekend. Rather, start a trend by saying something nice about others and "behind their backs". People will be impressed with your goodness and the fact that you are not malicious, jealous or sneaky. They will respect you for not giving in to unnecessary gossip and for not spreading gossip.
- Who knows, maybe someone else will follow your example and you will not only get respect for being kind, but also for starting a positive movement.
- On top of that, it never hurts to praise people directly. Resist the temptation to yell at people or be malicious if you are in a bad mood; rather focus on being kind to others. People tend to like, and respect, those who make them feel good about themselves.
Step 6. Donate your time
If you want to demand respect, you can't live selfishly. Find time in your week to volunteer in your community, help a classmate or colleague understand a difficult task, or to help your parents around the house. The act of selflessly giving your time, even if you don't have much of it, will not only make you respect yourself more, it will also make you feel better about yourself. If you are so focused on achieving your goals and impressing people that you don't have the time to help others, you will surely lose respect.
Of course, you don't have to volunteer or help others just to get more respected. It should be a natural desire
Step 7. Stand out in something
Another way to gain respect is to excel at something. Maybe you are very good at your job, write some beautiful poems, or you are the best goalkeeper your school has ever had. You could also excel at making anyone laugh in less than a minute, no matter how downcast that person is. Find out what you are good at and get even better. If you truly outdo yourself in some day-to-day aspects of your life, people will notice it.
That doesn't mean you have to go around preening on how good you are at something. If you do it right, respect will come by itself
Step 8. Keep your word
Being a man or woman of your word is the key to demonstrating a strong character and demanding respect. How can you get respected if others think you are untrustworthy or that you run out of words after a few minutes? If you say you will do something or make a promise, you should keep it. And if you're not sure you can do it, don't make empty promises that will only make others feel better temporarily. Try to be someone people can trust and the rest will come by itself.
Recognize your limitations. Don't say you'll do twenty different things if you only have time for five
Part 3 of 3: Having Self-Respect
Step 1. Stop apologizing for anything
A big part of having self-respect is being comfortable with what you do and who you are. If you can't, others won't respect you either. So, stop apologizing for needing more time, for not going to your friend's party because you prefer to stay with your family, for not meeting your boss's unrealistic expectations, for not being able to attend a family get-together because you have an important exam in sight. Be master of your actions and do not find excuses for them, others will see that you deserve their respect.
This doesn't mean you shouldn't apologize completely. If you've done something wrong, you'll have a lot more respect if you admit your mistakes than if you try to hide them under the rug
Step 2. Learn to say no
A person who has no self-respect always says yes to everyone because it is easier than refusing. Maybe you agree to nurse a dog when you don't have time, give a friend a lift when you'd rather rest, or accept more workload because you don't want to let your boss down. If you want to have self-respect, you need to learn to say no when necessary and not feel uncomfortable because you did.
- Don't seek explanations as to why you can't do something or apologize profusely unless the situation demands it. Be comfortable with your decision.
- If you truly feel guilty about a certain situation and still would like to help in some way, you can offer the person asking for a favor an alternative.
Step 3. Make the limits clear
People need to know exactly what your limits are right from the start. If you always give in to the demands of others and do whatever they ask of you, they will go further and further. For example, if you are looking after your sister's children for five hours a week and make it clear that you cannot help more than that, she will not take advantage of you further; but if you give in to her requests and help her over the weekend too, then she'll think she can ask you anything. If your team thinks they can expect more of you than they should, they will always ask for more and beyond what you were willing to do.
Make your expectations clear from the start and stay anchored to them, regardless of what may happen; people will see that you respect your own worth and your time
Step 4. Go out with someone who respects you
If you want to have true self-respect, you have to hang out with people who make you feel good, not those who demoralize you and make you feel small. If you surround yourself with people who always make fun of you or who make you feel ugly, poor, stupid, or more generally useless, how can you expect others to respect you? If you allow yourself to be treated with blatant disrespect from your closest friends, others will think it's okay to treat you that way too.
Time to reevaluate your relationships. Do the people you spend time with make you feel worthy or someone completely useless? If I'm not with you, then I'm against you, and it's time to find people who treat you as you deserve
Step 5. Don't beg
People who disrespect themselves beg for help, favors, attention, and many other things that lose their appeal when they beg for them. If you respect yourself, ask for help with a difficult task, but don't denigrate yourself by begging for help from people who don't want to give it to you. If your girlfriend doesn't pay you enough attention, don't let her respect you even less by begging her; rather, show her how important you are by giving the best of yourself, and if that's not enough, it's time to cut the strings.
Not only does begging for help show disrespect for yourself to the person you're talking to, but people around you will also see you as a desperate person who can't do something on their own
Step 6. Take care of yourself
If you want to get respect from others, you need to take care of yourself. This means that you shouldn't be overly drunk and that you should show up to work or school combed and rested, not like someone who has gotten out of bed after just three hours of sleep and with his hair all up in the air. Make sure you eat three meals a day and find time to do the things you love; this means that you have to take care of yourself physically and emotionally.
