While it's a good idea to try to get along with everyone, especially those you don't particularly like, in some cases it's better to confess your feelings than to keep pretending. For example, you may have to tell a person who tries to hook you up that you are not interested in dating, you may find yourself in the position of having to inform someone that you do not want to be friends with him or to end a friendship that has lasted for some time. In these cases, it will be helpful to make it clear that you are not interested in anything more than an exchange of greetings.
Steps
Method 1 of 3: Tell a Stranger You Are Not Interested
Step 1. Try to be direct
One of the ways to dismiss a person is to respond simply and directly when they invite you out or ask for your number. The direct approach can be the best: don't leave room for misunderstanding and don't deceive the other person, who may seek someone else's company.
- For example, you can say, "I appreciate your invitation, but no thanks."
- You could also say, "No, I'm not interested in going out with you at the moment."
- Make sure you use the word "no" in your answer so that you are absolutely clear.
Step 2. Choose an indirect answer
If you'd rather avoid rejecting a person directly, you can reply with a turn of phrase. For example, you can start with a compliment, but you will still have to end with a rejection.
For example, you can say, "You seem like a good person, but I'm not looking for a relationship right now, so I have to say no."
Step 3. Try to avoid the person in question
Another solution is to avoid the problem. In other words, you reject the proposal using an excuse, so that you do not reply directly, for example by giving the wrong number to this person, who will not know that you are rejecting them.
- To give a fake number, just make up one, but make sure it's not someone else's. Also, this strategy can be counterproductive if your suitor tries to call you or if you meet him again.
- Another possibility is to say that you are already engaged. You can also pretend that one of your friends is your partner; however, if you use this tactic, you could alienate other people, which would become a potential problem if you are trying to make new acquaintances.
Step 4. Avoid saying "I'm sorry"
By apologizing, point out that you feel sorry for the other person and the rejection will become even more painful. Plus, you have no reason to apologize. You are simply saying that you have decided not to accept the proposal that has been made to you.
Method 2 of 3: Tell Someone You Don't Want His Company
Step 1. Make sure something really needs to be said
In some cases, it is best to remain silent. If revealing the truth to the other person does not improve the situation, you may want to leave it alone, even if the other person irritates you.
- For example, telling your boss you don't like him is probably not going to help you much. Your supervisor is in control of your career and has the ability to make your professional life hell, so telling him you don't like it doesn't solve anything. You may even get in trouble for insubordination.
- Also, you should consider your options well even when the person you don't like is a relative or family friend. If you meet her regularly, telling her you don't appreciate her will only make your relationship even more difficult.
- Likewise, if this person is a mutual friend, dating your company of friends may become more difficult after you tell them you don't like them.
- Finally, consider whether your contempt is legitimate. Maybe you started hating a person without having had the chance to know them. Try to deepen her knowledge before judging her.
Step 2. Keep the conversation civil
Regardless of how you decide to communicate to a person that you have decided to distance yourself from them, always try not to appear rude. You can reveal to her that you don't appreciate her company even without being mean, so you can avoid ruining your relationship forever.
- If you are too brutal, it will become more difficult to find friends, because the rumors are running.
- Avoid being too mean or humiliating the person you talk to; try to be as respectful and calm as possible.
- For example, saying "I can't bear to see you" is bad. Try instead: "Our values are too different and I don't really have time for new friends."
Step 3. Don't give the other person a chance to deepen your relationship
If you just don't respond to his attempts to create a friendship, over time he will understand the message. In other words, try not to have a conversation with her and don't agree to see her when you don't feel like it.
- Also, try not to smile at her. You don't need to sulk her, but smiling you seem more open to dialogue.
- This attitude can lead people to consider you aloof and snobbish, so be careful.
Step 4. Try a direct approach
While this method can be brutal, it also allows you to make it clear right away that you don't want to make any further progress in the relationship. If you really can't stand a person, it may be best to say it openly; however, this choice can be counterproductive, especially in the workplace.
You might say something like, "I don't think we're compatible as friends, but it was nice meeting you."
Step 5. Express your feelings sincerely
If the other person wants more from your relationship than you are willing to give, tell them directly, without judging them. For example, he may want a deeper friendship, while you are interested in a simple acquaintance.
- You could say something like: "It seems to me that you want a close friendship from me. Unfortunately, at this moment I am not willing to give it to you. If in a few months you still want to become my friend, can you try to contact me again?".
- Alternatively, you can say, "Thank you for your kind request to become friends. You seem like a wonderful person. However, I'm not interested, thank you."
Method 3 of 3: Tell someone you don't want to be their friend
Step 1. Assess your goal
Decide what you want to achieve from the situation, then choose the best strategy to achieve the desired result, minimizing tensions. If you only care about seeing that person less often, you may not need to tell them you don't like them. If, on the other hand, you want to completely eliminate it from your life, it is probably best to let him know directly, rather than ignore it. Ask yourself questions like:
- What do I hope will happen when I tell this person I don't like him?
- Do I want you to leave me alone? Maybe then I should ask you this directly.
- Do I want to see it less often? Maybe I could tell her that I can only see her once a month.
- Do I want to hurt his feelings? Will I regret doing this in the future?
Step 2. Try to be as kind as possible
Even if you're basically rejecting someone, you shouldn't be rude. On the contrary, try to minimize the meanness, so that this person does not feel mortified or hopeless.
For example, saying "You're an idiot and I don't like you" is not at all appropriate. Conversely, you might say, "I know you'd like us to hang out more, but I don't think like you. I think our values are too different."
Step 3. Treat friendships like romantic relationships
If you try to tell a close friend that you have drifted apart, act as if you are breaking up with a girlfriend.
- Meeting this friend in person is the best choice, but if you have no alternative you can send him a letter or an email. Explain to him why you have decided to end your friendship. If you can, try to blame yourself, for example: "I am no longer the person I once was and I feel we are no longer compatible as friends."
- Another solution is to ask for a break. Maybe you just need to be alone for some time or you can use the break as an intermediate step so that this person gets used to the end of your relationship.
Step 4. Avoid this person
While this is not the best solution, it is a possibility. You can just stop taking her calls and stop talking to her when you see her. Eventually he will realize that you no longer want to be his friend.
- In some cases, people adopt this strategy in an attempt to protect the feelings of others, but disappearing only serves to confuse them and cause them even more suffering, as well as prolong the inevitable. They may start worrying about you and don't realize you're trying to end your relationship, so it's almost always best to be direct when you get the chance.
- Keep in mind that if you decide to avoid a person, you may still be forced to face them directly in the future. She may ask if there is something wrong, if you are angry with her or if you are avoiding her. Get ready to answer these questions.
- One way to avoid meeting someone is to use work as an excuse, for example: "I'd like to talk to you, but I have to get back to work now."
Step 5. Be realistic
Rejecting a person, especially a persistent one, is almost as painful as being rejected. You will not be able to get out of this situation without hurting the feelings of both parties involved; however, when a friendship really doesn't work, it's time to move on so you can create new, healthier, more constructive relationships.
