Socializing with people you don't know very well is certainly not easy, especially if chatting about this and that isn't your specialty - but let's face it, who likes it? If, however, you want to be able to get to know more people, you have to start somewhere, and becoming part of a social context often leads to cultivating deeper relationships. That guy you met at the last party you were invited to could become your best friend, or that woman who was introduced to you at the conference you attended recently could help you get a new job … You never know what's hiding behind the corner!
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Find Someone to Talk to
Step 1. Look at where you are to see if there is anyone you know
It's a little easier to socialize when you have a "sidekick", like a friend, co-worker, or acquaintance, who might introduce you to other people. If, however, during a party or event you find that you don't know anyone, don't worry: you can still strike up a conversation. In any case, there is nothing wrong with taking advantage of existing relationships to facilitate access to a social environment in which you feel a little uncomfortable.
- Don't seem desperate for people you know, giving the idea of closing yourself off to the opportunity to make new friends. In other words, try not to be anxious to meet someone in particular. Look around calmly and naturally. Enjoy the scene, but in the meantime do a quick scan of your surroundings to see if you know the people around.
- If you see someone you know but are talking to another person, wait a bit before catching their eye and approaching them.
Step 2. Look for smaller groups
When you find yourself in a context full of people you don't know well, you can often get closer to a small group of people rather than a large one. Look for small groups who appear to be talking in a friendly and informal manner. Evaluate the body language: if they form a kind of circle, placing themselves shoulder to shoulder, they will hardly be open to getting to know other people. When, on the other hand, the body language is open and friendly, they are more likely to assume a relaxed posture, with their arms and legs uncrossed and without barriers between them; therefore, if they seem sociable and accessible, approach them and introduce them.
- The situation could be embarrassing, but it can happen to anyone at parties and social events. Most people will be friendly and gladly welcome you.
- If people ignore you or seem unwelcoming, you can politely walk away with an excuse and find another group to join.
- Forget about people who seem to be in a rather intense private conversation. Your presence is more likely to bring down an awkward silence - you will be able to tell by observing the body language: if they are leaning towards each other, gesticulating impetuously and maintaining penetrating eye contact, there is probably no need to interrupt them.
Step 3. Try to appear available
If you look around and don't immediately see an opening that allows you to socialize, show yourself willing to meet new people. Try to stay in the center of the room, instead of wallpapering the ends. Make a pleasant expression that encourages people to come forward. Probably someone will come to you and start chatting up, avoiding the task.
- When someone starts talking to you, respond in a courteous and friendly manner.
- Avoid taking your cell phone. When people are uncomfortable or don't know what to do, they start playing on their cell phones. Try to avoid this, as it may seem like you don't want to interact with others.
- It might be convenient to stop at a relevant point in the hall: the buffet table, the bar counter, the gigantic ice sculpture in the middle of the room… This will make it easier to strike up a conversation about this "attraction".
Step 4. Help others socialize
Surely there will be other people at the party who do not know anyone and who feel embarrassed to socialize. Try to identify them and introduce them; they will be grateful to you for your kindness and, who knows, you may find that you have so much in common with them, even forming a friendship.
If you are talking to someone and another person approaches, get them involved! Don't be unfriendly
Step 5. Don't stay too long in your comfort zone
When you have the opportunity to speak to a person you know, resist the temptation to converse with her all the time. You will miss out on getting to know other people and also appear cold in the eyes of others.
Ask people you know to introduce yourself to others and don't be afraid to expose yourself
Step 6. Try talking to different people
To socialize at a party it might be a good idea to try joining different people, since you never know what they have to say. However, don't feel like you have to talk to everyone. However, it is a great result if, while interacting, you have a chat with only one person. Maybe next time you will be able to have a conversation with two or three.
Step 7. Know how to get out of situations
If you find yourself trapped in a conversation that you want to break free from, you need to find a way to get yourself out of it. There are various solutions to do this. Just be nice and polite.
- You can disconnect from the conversation under the pretext that you need to go to the bathroom or get a drink.
- You could also say something like, "Oh, Sonia just got here! Let me introduce her to you," so you can get someone else involved in the conversation.
- You might say, "I'd like to take this up again."
Part 2 of 3: Knowing What to Say and Do
Step 1. Smile
This is the easiest and most expressive way to show a stranger that you are a friendly person. If you don't make this little effort, most people won't risk approaching you to talk, because you will give the impression that you are not very sociable. Smiling doesn't come naturally to everyone - many feel more comfortable maintaining a more serious look. If you are one of these people, you will need to step out of your comfort zone and smile. The smile, in fact, is an important part of body language, which communicates readiness and openness to interact and converse.
- Your smile should be sincere. The whole face must light up, including the eyes, not just the mouth. Think Julia Roberts, not Halloween pumpkins.
- Practice smiling before going to a party. Not only will you understand what expression you assume, possibly having the possibility to change it, but it will put you in a good mood and make you more inclined to smile.
Step 2. Introduce yourself
Come on and say: "Hi, my name is…". It is so simple that most people will respond cordially. After the presentation, ask some basic questions to help the conversation go smoothly. Here are some suggestions:
- "What brings you here tonight? I was going to school with Cecilia."
- "This music is great, isn't it? I love this band."
- "And so this is where you work! I've heard great things about your company."
Step 3. Look your interlocutor in the eye and shake his hand
Behavior and body language matter as much as words. Eye contact is key to establishing a personal connection from the very first moment. Meet the other person's gaze feeling confident as you reach out and squeeze theirs firmly (but don't overdo it). This attitude will allow you to start the conversation without any difficulty.
- Try not to stare at the ground for too long or look away, otherwise you will give the impression of being disinterested.
- If you socialize with people you already know, use appropriate body language to restore the level of intimacy you have. You could hug them, greet them with two kisses on the cheeks, pat them on the back, and so on.
Step 4. Don't be detached
Basically, even if you have known someone recently, you should treat them as if you were already great friends. This way you will immediately put him at ease. Often such an attitude allows the interlocutors to overcome the embarrassing moments of silence, accelerating the "breaking of the ice". If you are extremely friendly, kind, and respectful, the other person will enjoy continuing the conversation with you.
Try to avoid the classic topics that usually come up to get to know someone, but throw yourself towards more interesting topics. For example, instead of asking "What do you do?", You could ask your interlocutor what their opinion is on an important event that recently happened
Step 5. Show interest in the topic you are talking about
When you participate in a group discussion or make friends with someone, it is important to express interest in the issues being addressed. Even if you don't have the faintest idea, you can ask questions and show your curiosity.
- Don't pretend you know something when you really don't. People will be happy to explain and won't judge you because you don't know as much as they do. It would be worse to be caught red-handed after lying.
- Try asking for clarification on something that was just said. You will show that you pay attention and are interested.
- Try to steer the conversation towards a common interest, so that you can make a fair contribution.
Step 6. Talk a little about yourself
By sharing some information about your life, you will be able to heat the conversation. If you are too reticent, how will others get to know you? Talk about your job, hobbies, interests, and opinions. Participate in the same way that others do, and remember to be sunny, upbeat and pleasant.
- That said, you shouldn't overdo or monopolize the conversation by talking about yourself in detail. It should be an exchange, where everyone can contribute and listen in equal parts.
- Don't complain or be pessimistic (especially about the party, the guest, or the food), even if you're in a bad mood. Nobody likes to surround themselves with negative people.
- You must absolutely avoid telling vulgar jokes or talking about extremely sensitive topics, which concern, for example, illness or death. You risk offending someone.
Step 7. Be yourself
If you act spontaneously, you won't need to become the life of the party and surprise everyone with your wit. Sure, you can make a few jokes, but your goal isn't to get the attention of every single guest. Giving personal attention to people you know, putting them at ease, and talking about yourself are all strategies that will get you much further.
Treat people as you would like to be treated, with respect and courtesy
Part 3 of 3: Taking Advantage of Socialization
Step 1. Look at people as an opportunity
Entering a room full of strangers, it can be difficult to figure out how to break the ice. Watching strangers talk and laugh at each other might be intimidating. However, each person is their own, just like you are, and everyone is trying to get to know each other and have fun.
Step 2. Be genuinely interested
Many people shiver with terror at the thought of talking about this and that with strangers, but you can think of socializing differently. If you show up on an invitation with a real desire to meet new people and chat with them, suddenly they will all become much more interesting and pleasing to you. See every party and event as an opportunity to connect with people full of intriguing stories, interests and passions.
Remember that everyone has something to teach. It's fun to get involved and connect with other people; after all, that's why parties are organized
Step 3. Overcome the embarrassment
Before you go to an event, be prepared and remember to follow some of these tips:
- Wear appropriate clothing for the occasion; that way you won't worry about being inappropriately dressed. The right clothes can increase your self-confidence and can be a great excuse to strike up a conversation.
- Brush your teeth and freshen up, so you don't have to worry about breath or stubborn clumps.
- Rests. Try taking a nap if the event is late in the day. It is more difficult to socialize when you feel tired.
- Dinner before going out. You will feel more energetic and less likely to overdo the food or drink during the party.
- Do not drink too much. Sometimes people believe they need alcohol to let go. While it may be beneficial, in excessive amounts it is likely to be harmful. Remember not to overdo it and to drink water between drinks.
- Take a few deep breaths to focus on yourself. Remember that you were invited for a reason: to socialize and have fun.
Step 4. Exchange contact information with people you know
With a bit of luck, you will meet several people that you will want to hear from. Don't be afraid to swap the phone number, so you'll have the opportunity to see them again. Also, the next time you get together at another party, there will be someone you can talk to.
