Whether you are a boss who wants to find out if he can trust an employee or someone who simply wants to confide in a friend, you will need to understand whether or not he is worthy of your trust.
Steps
Step 1. Observe the behavior
See how it behaves. How do you treat others? Is it reckless, rude? Are you prone to gossip? Do you judge quickly? Are you always worried about what others are doing? There is a difference between someone who wants to be useful and someone who sticks his nose and wants to gossip. However, that's not enough to determine whether someone can be trustworthy or not. Anyone who seems too involved in problems is someone to beware of: there is a reason why they don't get along with too many people.
Step 2. Listening - communication is important
When he talks to you, does he divert the conversation to others, and if he does, does he talk about it negatively? If this person tells you private news of others just to "talk" you should take this into account when judging their trust. It doesn't matter if he gives you names or not: whoever talks about others (with strange intentions) after they have confided, is someone you can't trust and have doubts about. If he is comfortable talking to you about his business (things that worry him, asking for advice, etc.), it could instead be a sign that he has faith in you. So you could take the opportunity and reciprocate.
Step 3. Reliability:
can he keep his promises?
We all disappoint from time to time, but if someone does it all the time with you (or others), during the most important moments and without excuses, it is not reliable. Part of having confidence comes from being able to believe in the person and knowing that you can count on them regardless of the situation.
Step 4. Honesty
Someone who lies constantly probably does so with the result of saving themselves. We repeat: intentions are a thing to consider, but someone who lies about themselves to look better may have something to hide. If he lies about his life, imagine what else he might be doing. Someone who has to lie to get out of a negative situation is not as trustworthy as someone who spreads lies about others.
Step 5. Personality
It must be taken into account whether the person is self-centered or not. Who is, thinks only of herself and will likely dump you on more than one occasion. Some people make an exception for those few they feel close to, but if they consistently prioritize themselves, those people have the potential to betray you when you give them the chance.
Advice
- Give people a chance. You will never know them if you don't find out for yourself. Start by telling them little things and if you hear them around, you'll know you probably can't trust them.
- Don't classify someone as "unworthy" just because they let you down once or twice. Learn not to dwell too much on the past as it may ruin your ability to evaluate people in the future (see 'Warnings').
