Getting along with people can be difficult. Some can't make friends, others get mad about everything, and still others have a bunch of friends they don't want. Whatever your obstacles, you will find some helpful advice in this wikiHow article. Just start reading from step one or find a section listed above that relates to your problem.
Steps
Method 1 of 4: Understanding People
Step 1. Accept human nature
Human beings make mistakes. People aren't always nice. They say wrong things, they get distracted, they forget. You have to remember: all the problems and all the pain you have in your life right now, they have them too. Everyone has to deal with a variety of problems. It is important to remember when trying to get along with people who are very difficult or seem to be ignoring you; everyone only does the best they can.
Step 2. Try to establish sympathy or empathy with them
Sympathy is when you understand or try to understand why someone feels the way they do. Empathy is when from your position you know how others feel. They are both great feelings to have towards another person. When someone is having a hard time or is ignoring you, try to understand what they are feeling. Realize that just because she doesn't externalize it, the feelings and experiences she has are still valid. Remember that he is doing his best and that he is struggling with his problems. Think about how your problems sometimes turn you off more than you want or make you do things you regret. This will make you feel better and should improve your interactions with others as well.
Step 3. Put yourself in their place
Think about what people do and then think about what you would do in their position. Remove as much of your personal bias as you can and remember that they are probably not as emotionally grown or sensitive people as you are. Do you want to make the same choices they made? Be honest with yourself. Often the answer will be yes, so try to give a respite.
Step 4. Respect the fact that there are an infinite number of valid choices
People are all very different from each other - this is what makes life interesting. And just as people are all different and there are no stencil personalities with only black and white features, the world is also very complex. Every situation is different, always. Just because someone doesn't make the choice you would or just because they take a less profitable or smart route to get to where they're going doesn't mean they're wrong. Life is not an exam with an answer sheet - it is just something we have to live for ourselves and we are unable to keep others up to our standards.
Step 5. Reflect on how children behave and think
When you're having a really hard time with people, think about the kids. Children often say and do wrong things because they are still learning. The difficult thing about life is that it is very complex. There is a lot to learn. Some people may not have learned all their lessons yet. Try to treat them with the same patience you would have with a child, without being condescending. We are all in a process of growth, our whole life.
Method 2 of 4: Manage Your Frustrations
Step 1. Resolve the problems that can and should be solved
When you have problems with people, you should start identifying what exactly they are. If their gravity is such that you can't help but face them, like when some fool does something dangerous, then it's something you should warn and work on to find a solution. You don't have to accept or ignore bad behavior. However, if someone is just annoying or different and makes you uncomfortable, then it's a great idea to take other ways out.
Step 2. Remember it is temporary
Build your patience to help you interact with people who make you nervous. A good starting point is to remember that, as the great Joseph Campbell liked to quote, "this too will pass away." Everything is temporary in this world, including that annoying guy who works with you in the office. You have to learn not to get caught up in the negative feelings you have, putting them aside in order to be able to focus on producing more positive feelings.
Try distracting yourself with work if you have difficulty in doing so
Step 3. Sing a song in your head
If someone is bothering you, try singing a song over your head to stay calm and behave appropriately. You can sing any song you like! "Let it Go" from Frozen - Kingdom of Ice is a great start, assuming it hasn't already sent you to the asylum.
Step 4. Imagine you are somewhere else
Another tactic is to pretend you are somewhere else while dealing with depressing people. Pretend that whoever drives you crazy is a cat that is constantly meowing. Cats get annoying sometimes, but they're usually cute, aren't they? You can also imagine being completely somewhere else, for example floating along a river in the summer. Try to imagine the sound of cicadas and the gurgling of water …
Step 5. Give yourself a reward after something
A good way to stay calm in difficult situations, if you have to concentrate too much to distract yourself, is to promise yourself a reward in exchange for your kindness. For example, tell yourself that if you stay polite, you will have ice cream. If you help someone, even if they are driving you crazy, then you deserve a double serving!
Step 6. Be willing to forgive
Forgive people when they make mistakes. Sometimes it is enough to stop and give people the benefit of the doubt. Chances are they are either really sorry or they don't really know what they did was wrong. You have to forgive them in order to push yourself towards happiness. Nobody likes to be stubborn about anger.
Method 3 of 4: Communicate Well
Step 1. Keep your mind open
Sometimes you have to give people the benefit of the doubt - you may think they hate you, even though they genuinely try to be nice to you. For example, when they invite you to parties, really consider going instead of putting the invitation aside, because you don't think they're serious.
Step 2. Thank people, even when they drive you crazy
Even when someone makes you lose your mind, thank them for the effort they have shown in helping or giving advice. Usually, these are people with good intentions and acting stupid or ungrateful will not make you feel any better. Just be nice and wait for them to go their own way. Really, sometimes thanking someone is the fastest way to shut them up.
Step 3. Say what you want to say
When you are trying to connect with people, start being honest. Say what you really want to say instead of trying to contort yourself around the subject or take a passive-aggressive attitude.
Step 4. Set limits
If you are uncomfortable between people, set limits on your interactions to protect yourself. For example, if others always want to do things, but you are not so sociable, tell them that you are only available at certain times and on certain days (without exception). If someone you have to spend time with wants to discuss topics that make you uncomfortable, let them know when you don't want to talk about a topic.
When trying to justify yourself on a topic, use words like "I feel". People usually show more respect when you directly communicate how something isn't making you feel good
Step 5. Recognize people
Sometimes people just need to be seen and heard as you actually perceive them. If someone keeps bothering you, let them talk about what they have to say and worry them. That way, he could really find that release he needs, to be able to get back to his normal chores.
Step 6. Think about what your words really say
Sometimes we say things without thinking about what the words actually mean or how someone else might be feeling. Has anyone ever told you something that literally upset you? Words can deeply hurt and accompany us for a long time. The worst happens when the speaker doesn't feel guilty! Think about what you say before you do it and try to reflect on how the words affect others.
For example, a joke may be funny to you, but to someone else it could be extremely harmful for very good reasons. Making certain jokes can be what gives you problems with people to begin with, because you unintentionally hurt them and make them uncomfortable
Method 4 of 4: Bonding with People
Step 1. Be a concentrate of positive energy
People don't like to surround themselves with people who are completely negative, whining, or talking about violent things. If you were, others would think worried that your head is not right! Instead of acting like the pessimistic and depressed donkey Eeyore, friend of Winnie the Pooh, he tries to see good everywhere. See the bright side of negative situations. Try to see a lesson to learn. Try to have hope, regardless of the circumstances. When you have an extremely positive spirit, especially following terrible events, people will be attracted to you, because you will be a source of inspiration during the difficult times when they will follow your example in their life!
Step 2. Make your contribution to each of your relationships
Remember that on your part there is not only the right to win someone's friendship or love. We all need to work together and contribute equally in all our relationships. Both friendships and love relationships are built on mutual collaboration. If someone you care about seems to be drifting away or if things are getting really difficult between you, start thinking about whether you are really doing your part. Do you do what you expect from the other person? Do you give your contribution as much as the other party? If not, it may be time to work on your approach.
- Make sure you appreciate the other person and do something nice for them every now and then.
- Don't treat everything as a direct transaction. For example, just because you give your girlfriend a gift doesn't mean she is forced to have sex with you. Instead, do things because you truly believe people deserve them, not because you want to get something in return.
- Listen actively. Sometimes, what you really need in life is for someone to really listen to us. If you feel you don't have much to offer, at least try to be a good listener and a shoulder to cry on when life is tough.
Step 3. Help people
Helping people is a great way to connect with others and make friends. You can help those around you in the basic things in life, like studying or at work, or you can help people who are truly in need and give yourself a great sense of fulfillment and purpose.
Take volunteer work seriously. You can try Emergency, which offers free medical and surgical care to the victims of war and poverty, or Greenpeace which works for the defense of the climate, the environment and the interruption of nuclear tests. Put your wisdom and your love to good use
Step 4. Do something together with others
Getting things together is another great way to bond with people and make new friends. You can work together with someone on a school or business project (or even something cool for the neighborhood). You can also try to do a new business together. Joining an association is a great way to meet people and make new friends who share your interests. These activities will give you more opportunities for dialogue and a lot of opportunities to interact and get to know each other.
Step 5. Complain together with others
It's not the most positive or even the best choice, but complaining to other people can be a very quick way to bond with them. Don't start complaining out of nowhere, though! Watch and listen, paying attention to how they react to situations. This will help you find something they don't like. Then, you can comment and complain about what you already know is bothering, instead of risking offending others. Don't start complaining too much, though: instead, use complaints to start a conversation and move on to other topics!
