Do you have the impression that your parents are wearing you too much? It is normal for them to take an interest in your life, but sometimes boundaries are needed. As you grow up, your relationship must also evolve. You need space to become an adult: your parents had the same freedom, once upon a time: now it's your turn.
Steps
Method 1 of 3: Communicate with Your Parents
Step 1. Talk to your parents about the importance of setting boundaries
It is normal to be hesitant at the idea of confronting them, especially if you are still dependent on their finances or their emotional comfort. If you need help discussing the importance of establishing barriers, write down specifically what bothers you. Showing your parents concrete examples will help them understand your situation.
- Remember that they are not angry with you, so you must not be afraid to face them.
- Be honest and open towards them, but don't attack them. Avoid insulting them during the discussion - it could lead you to an argument without resolving the issue in question.
- Just knowing that they know what you are feeling can reduce the feeling of annoyance towards them.
Step 2. Don't lie
It may seem like an easy way to avoid a more complicated problem, but it will ultimately only cause negative complications. Your parents are not obtuse: if you tell them lies you may soon find yourself trapped in a web of lies and it will be easier for them to discover the truth. Lying hurts the people we love.
They may get angry that they have been deceived or even worry about your future well-being. In the end, lying will only reduce the chances of having your needs met
Step 3. Anticipate their reactions
Don't expect them to easily give you all the space you want. You have to win their trust: this discussion could only be the beginning of a long process. If getting the chance to be left alone means hurting them or making them cry, consider whether the game is worth the candle.
Just think of them as adults, rather than seeing them as your parents. Dealing with them in this way can allow you to talk more openly about your feelings
Step 4. Do something nice for them
Some studies show that it is possible to obtain health benefits from kind actions, whether it is the person who does them or the one who receives them. Kindness can improve the immune system and increase the brain's release of serotonin. Seeing that you are straining, your parents may be more likely to listen to your requests. Try some of these things:
- Cleaning house.
- Wash the dishes after dinner.
- Tidy up your room.
- Offer to babysit a little brother.
Step 5. Monitor your relationship with your parents
Don't let issues pile up and a small problem turn into something more serious. Communication is the secret of any relationship: if you behave honestly and openly towards your parents, all of you will reap the rewards. A good relationship between parents and children is something very powerful.
Method 2 of 3: Leaving Home
Step 1. Get a job
Finding a job could show your parents that you want to become more independent. Most parents believe that work can teach a number of positive values, such as developing a work ethic and strengthening personal independence. It will also allow you to spend time away from them. Getting a job will show your parents how much you care about your future and could ease their concerns about your well-being a little.
There are several ways you can prepare to find the right job for you
Step 2. Stop at school after class to finish homework
Parents are usually concerned about their children's school career and educational future. If you finish your homework on time and keep up with your studies, you will show them that you are responsible and need less supervision.
- In case you have trouble at school, plan to take remedial classes offered by the teachers or the school itself. This way you will spend less time with your parents and show them that they don't have to worry about your school life.
- If you get good grades, remember to inform them about it.
Step 3. Engage in extracurricular activities
Stopping at school after class can take up a lot of your free time. Ask your institution about the different programs you can enroll in - taking up time away from home can give you the space you need away from your parents.
If you are unaware of the programs your school offers, ask your teacher or tutor
Step 4. Go out with friends
A friend's house can be a safe haven if parents put pressure on you. Plan activities with them that keep you out of the house such as:
- Go to the arcade.
- Playing bowling.
- Go to the cinema.
- Play a laser game.
- Stop and sleep with one of them.
- Go camping or to the beach with their parents for a weekend.
- Stop and eat at one of them.
Step 5. Start dating a girl or a boy
Dating someone can teach you how to create a stable and healthy relationship that can lead to a stronger relationship with your parents. A new relationship will take up your time: many parents are able to understand that their children need this space. It may not be easy for you to throw yourself into a relationship - if you have someone specific in mind, try asking them out for coffee or go to the movies together.
- Getting into a relationship for the wrong reasons can cause serious problems between you and the person in question. Follow this advice only if it feels natural for you to spend time with someone else.
- Take the time to think about an action plan: it will increase the chances that the other will agree to go out with you.
Step 6. Stay out of trouble
If you get into trouble at school or with the law, you will only contribute to increasing the attention of your parents towards you. Don't do anything that could cause you trouble or get arrested by the authorities, and keep away from any friends who might get you into trouble. Your parents will be happy to know that you have kept yourself away from problems by stopping unwanted friendships.
Set high standards for your friendships and life goals. If you dream big, you will feel a stronger call to keep yourself out of trouble
Method 3 of 3: Understanding Why Your Parents Put Pressure
Step 1. Recognize how they annoy you
Try to understand in which aspects of your life the attention of your parents annoys you: you will not be able to make them leave you completely alone, but you could understand in which area of your life you would like them not to intervene.
Observe the time you spend with them for about a week. Write down specific events or conversations that particularly bother you
Step 2. Observe your attitude towards your parents
Relationships are two-way: if you're being rude to them, they may be inclined, despite themselves, to meddle more in your affairs. If you keep getting involved in a conversation or discussion that you don't like, take note of the language you use and your tone of voice: is it different than usual?
Even if you consider yourself a friendly person, try to figure out if your character can make your parents interact with you more than necessary
Step 3. Find out if anything has changed in their life
Maybe they are having a hard time at work or in a couple's life. Try to take an interest in their life. Informing you about the period they are going through could help them admit that they are too involved in your life.
If you have problems with only one of them, try talking to a friend, the other parent or your guardian: they could give you some useful advice regarding the problems that the person in question is going through
Step 4. Talk to someone about your parents' behavior
In case you have an older brother (or sister), try to find out if they have been through the same situation as you. Discuss with your friends about the relationship they have in the family and try to understand if you share the same problems. Meet with a trusted guide (a teacher, tutor, or babysitter) and ask her why your parents are so overwhelming.
If you feel that you have not resolved the problem yet, consult with your school counselor or ask your parents if you can see a therapist
Step 5. Wait patiently
If you have a fairly recent feeling, try waiting a couple of weeks to see if the problem persists. Problems can transform over a long period of time and sometimes people need the company of others during this time. Remember that your parents are human beings like everyone else and deserve a little patience.
Advice
- Don't isolate yourself from your parents.
- Patience is key to solving problems with them.
- You won't live with them forever, so feel some compassion for them.
