Have you ever had the feeling that a little more momentum and transport in your daily relationships could benefit you? Maybe you'd like to forge a stronger bond with those around you. Even if you will not be the central hub around which the parties revolve, you have the possibility to build relationships characterized by greater involvement with other people and in various activities; this, in turn, can make you more interesting. Find out what your personal interests are and incorporate them into your daily life. Practice the following steps to begin your journey to becoming a more interesting person.
Steps
Part 1 of 4: Knowing Yourself Better
Step 1. Make a list of your skills and passions
Think about the meaning you give to the concept of "being interesting". In fact, what is interesting is not the same for everyone, nor is it found in everyone. It is therefore essential to know what stimulates one's interest in order to be able to interact with others through an approach that could be, in fact, more interesting. Perfect your skills by discovering what you are good for. It is a much simpler criterion that does not force you to delve into aspects that have no appeal to you.
- Think about what qualities and activities appeal to you. What do you find interesting about yourself or others?
- On top of that, it's also much easier to converse about topics you already have a certain interest in, rather than showing interest in other people's lives just to please them.
Step 2. Imagine what might be "interesting" for other people
Determining what is "interesting" - and how you can develop this quality - will likely depend on the set of skills that make you unique, as well as the group of people you prefer to hang out with. If, for example, you consider yourself a good musician and you love to surround yourself with people who are passionate about music, you will probably find it important to have musical skills and to know how to play an instrument in order to be interesting. On the other hand, in order to arouse interest in others, these requirements will not acquire enormous relevance if you are attracted mainly to sports or cars.
This does not mean that you have to tailor your speeches based on who you are in front of. If you are not interested in what you are saying, then you will not be interesting either. Try to be spontaneous as you go out of your way to attract your interlocutor
Step 3. Accept your uniqueness
Recognize that you are already an interesting person. You can increase this impression in others if you highlight some of your peculiarities.
It may seem paradoxical at first, but in reality trying to be yourself is the best way to give the impression of having no difficulty. By doing so, it will be possible to put others at ease
Part 2 of 4: Broadening Your Horizons
Step 1. Try new activities to push the boundaries of your comfort zone
Try new activities that may interest you. When you extend your comfort zone, you break out of ingrained habits, live life with more enthusiasm and meet new people. If you are open to trying new things, you will learn to be a little more fearless.
Try volunteering at a non-profit organization, playing a new sport, or pursuing a different hobby. Choose something you have little experience in and go for it
Step 2. Enrich the characteristics of your personality by discovering new activities in practice
The goal of becoming more interesting may involve more courage or affability. However, it is difficult to acquire these attitudes if you do not put a specific plan in place. Measure yourself in concrete activities and experiences, instead of focusing on improving one of your personality traits.
For example, instead of convincing yourself that you need to be braver, try applying yourself to something that scares you at the very thought. Alternatively, you could try rock climbing if you're afraid of heights, or visit a zoo if you're afraid of animals. By pushing yourself out of your comfort zone, you will eventually feel more comfortable when you engage in activities that you or others find interesting
Step 3. Meet new people
When you expand your network of acquaintances, you have the opportunity to connect with more interesting situations and activities. Ask people about their life.
When you talk to someone you may find, for example, that your interlocutor has a thorough understanding of beekeeping, the activity you always wanted to try
Step 4. Travel as much as possible
Seeing the world, you will have the opportunity to grasp the subtle differences between people of different backgrounds or of various ethnicities. If you are attentive to how these differences affect others and themselves, you will be able to make the people around you more comfortable.
- This will give you a better idea of how the concept of "interesting" is interpreted in different parts of the world.
- Plan your next vacation in an unusual way. Go to an exotic location and do something you wouldn't normally do. You could be backpacking, surfing, climbing a mountain or going on a jungle safari.
Step 5. Read more
Read books that cover fun topics, such as some manuals on how to make special cocktails, exotic places to travel, or how to become a passionate lover. By doing so, you will have plenty of ideas for engaging in brilliant conversations.
Part 3 of 4: Interacting with Other People
Step 1. Learn to relate to others by focusing on their interests
It is important to learn to get in touch with people even when you have no interest in the topic they are discussing. Conversation is like establishing a swing negotiation with another person - it can go in any direction. If you intend to become a more interesting person, you should remain open to this process. Ask a few questions to demonstrate your involvement in the discussion. This way the conversation will offer you more insights from which to draw further questions to ask.
- For example, if you find that someone is an expert beekeeper, you might ask them, "I've always wanted to be involved in beekeeping. How can I get started?". By doing so, you will allow your interlocutor to share their experience with others, which most people are excited to do.
- If you talk to someone about their work, you might ask them, "Have you always wanted to be a journalist?" Or, "Which journalist do you admire most?"
Step 2. Hang out with whoever you find interesting
Find people who have skills and passions you appreciate. Give them more time. Remember that the people you spend most of your time with affect the development of your personality and interests. The influence exerted by various social issues, ranging from those present in your community to those that characterize the country where you live, can affect you in a tangible and subtle way. Observing people who are interesting can be a great way to get off to a good start.
Step 3. Laugh and smile as often as possible
Some research has found that even if you're not necessarily happy to be doing something, the simple gesture of smiling can release chemicals in your brain that allow you to be more comfortable in your environment. As a result, smiling will convey this feeling to others as well. Smiles and laughter have also been shown to relieve symptoms of milder depressive disorders and anxiety.
If you want to be a more interesting person, but can't seem to go in the right direction, simply smiling more often and getting involved in situations that make a smile out can be a great place to start
Step 4. Learn to shake off insults or disrespect from others
Everyone has their passions and a very personal way of acting, therefore it is impossible to be interesting in the eyes of all. Try to be happy in your shoes. Accept that not everyone will find you interesting or like you. You will undoubtedly attract more those who actually respect your uniqueness.
- Give people the benefit of the doubt. Try to think, "He probably had a bad day." Then tell your interlocutor something nice. You could shake him just enough to let him know he was being rude.
- You can also try to put some emphasis on the insult, also to make fun of the offense received. If someone says to you, "I've seen so many people learning to ski faster than you," you might reply, "I just learned to walk upright, so I think I have a great pace."
Part 4 of 4: Being a Good Talker
Step 1. Try to get a better idea of what people want to hear
While being interesting means talking about yourself, it also means showing your interest in others. Ask your interlocutor how his children are doing or something related to his recent vacation. Put him at ease while you talk and keep the conversation going smoothly.
Step 2. Ask a few questions
Don't let a conversation come to a standstill without showing any signs of interest. Try to keep the dialogue going by continuing to ask questions. This will show attention and interest in what the other person is saying.
As you speak, ask open-ended questions. By doing so, you will encourage your interlocutor to chat rather than give you laconic answers
Step 3. Learn to tell the anecdotes
Often a person is interesting because it is interesting to listen to him: he can tell a good story regardless of the topic. He can describe details in a fun way, involve the public and stay focused on the topic being discussed.
A good anecdote to tell has certain characteristics, just like a book or a movie. It contains compelling characters, meaningful details, a conflict, a pivotal moment and even a surprising ending. Even if it is short, think about how you can structure the story so that it fascinates the listener
Step 4. Listen actively
It is often possible to be interesting simply by allowing your interlocutors to say what they think, without interrupting them or making judgments. While it might sound easy, it's actually extremely difficult at times. This is especially true if you are used to saying exactly what is on your mind, without stopping to think. Active listening means following with participation what another person is saying, without imposing one's ideas and thoughts during the conversation.
- Active listening also means staying attentive to what has been said without trying to think ahead of time what needs to be said next. The next time someone tries to tell you something, give them the opportunity to talk as long as they want, trying to get involved with what they are saying.
- Watch for changes in facial expressions or tone of voice. To listen effectively, you need to pay attention to both non-verbal characteristics and spoken words.
- People usually like to be with someone who gives them a chance to talk about whatever is on their mind.
Step 5. Show self-confidence through body language
Move in such a way that you seem confident. Straighten your shoulders and keep your head up. You could also try to increase your expressiveness by using your hands instead of putting them in your pockets.
