While socializing can be considered a fun and enjoyable activity, for some it can be boring and even a source of anxiety. Some are too shy and insecure to let themselves go in front of people they don't know. For others it is the numerous commitments due to work and school, which represent the greatest obstacle. Whatever your situation, this article will give you some good tips to open yourself up to others.
Steps
Method 1 of 3: Part 1: Coping With Your Own Insecurities
Step 1. Pay attention to your insecurities
Sometimes, we all feel shy or insecure; however, if you feel that your shyness inhibits you excessively, it may be because you consider yourself "out of place" in certain situations. This feeling of inadequacy is reinforced by the fact that you yourself think you are inadequate. Pay attention to negative thoughts and how you feel; try to distinguish rational thoughts from irrational ones.
- Do you always feel unattractive? Do you think you are boring? Strange? Irresponsible? Negative thoughts like these are the cause of your feeling inadequate in relation to the world around you. For this reason you are not a sociable person. Other than that, they don't allow you to fully live your life together with others.
- Until you have addressed your insecurities and perceived your worth, you will not be able to truly socialize.
- Sometimes we get so used to having negative thoughts that we don't even notice them. Start paying attention to what you really think.
Step 2. Learn to deal with your negative thoughts
Once you have learned to identify negative thoughts, start practicing to eliminate them from your head so that they no longer have an inhibiting effect in your life. When you find that you are thinking negatively, try one of the following exercises:
- First of all, acknowledge that you have a certain thought in your head. Now, close your eyes and visualize the thought in your mind. Imagine attaching a "negative" label to it and slowly dissolving it until it disappears.
- Turn negative thinking into constructive thinking. Let's say, for example, that you are overweight. Instead of continuing to think that you are fat, try saying to yourself: "I would like to lose weight to be healthier, have more energy and be more attractive". In this way, you can change negative thinking into a constructive goal for your future life.
- For each negative thought, think three positives.
- Being a positive person will also make it easier to socialize and make friends. Nobody wants to be friends with a chronic pessimist.
Step 3. Make a list of your positive qualities
Unfortunately, we are so focused on improving ourselves that we tend to forget about the goals we are capable of achieving, our talent and our good nature. To get started, ask yourself:
- What have you done in the last year that makes you feel proud?
- What is the most ambitious goal you have been able to accomplish?
- What are the qualities or abilities that make you unique?
- What compliment do they give you most often?
- What have you done that is positive for the lives of others?
Step 4. Stop comparing your life to that of others
One reason people tend to feel insecure is that they compare the negative aspects of their life with the positive aspects of other people's lives.
- Remember that deep down everyone has painful experiences and suffers on certain occasions. If you wonder why some people seem happier than you, remember that happiness has little to do with external circumstances and the attitude you show to others.
- If you are too busy thinking about what others are doing, you won't have time to make yourself more interesting and sophisticated.
Step 5. Remember that the world doesn't revolve around you
Ironically, people who feel "invisible" and insecure think they are constantly at the center of other people's attention and are victims of judgment and criticism. Although you are not invisible, it is irrational to think that others are always with their breath on your neck, waiting for a good opportunity to make a judgment about you. People are so focused on their life that they don't have time for it. Even if they notice that you say, or do, something embarrassing, they will think about it for a couple of hours at the most and forget about it soon after, while you may mull it over for years.
- Putting aside the feeling of constantly being under the inquisitive eyes of others will help you feel more relaxed in front of people you don't know and make socializing that much more enjoyable.
- Give up the idea of everyone looking at you and judging you. They are more focused on themselves than on those around them, just like you.
Step 6. Overcome the fear of being rejected
After all, the worst thing that can happen to you is… to know someone who doesn't want to keep dating you. Is it unpleasant? Of course. Is it the end of the world? Absolutely not. Most of the time it won't happen at all; if you think that most people will reject you and that is why you are afraid to socialize, you will preclude yourself from meeting a lot of wonderful people.
Know that you will not conquer everyone, and not even most of them. But think of all the wonderful relationships you can create if you just expose yourself a little
Method 2 of 3: Part 2: Interacting with Others
Step 1. Smile
Everyone wants people who are happy and enthusiastic about their life by their side. Even if you don't always feel happy, try to smile as much as possible. Not only will you feel better, but you will send a good mood to the people around you, who will be more likely to talk to you and get to know you.
Smiling is especially important if you are trying to attract someone of the opposite sex. In fact, by smiling you will give the impression of being a positive person worth knowing
Step 2. Pay attention to body language
If you are attending a party, make sure your body language indicates that you are someone who is willing to make new acquaintances. Make eye contact with others, say hello or just nod, and look ahead and not at your feet or the floor. Show yourself happy and willing to talk, they will come to you more easily.
- Avoid frowning, crossing your arms, and putting yourself in a corner. These are gestures that indicate that you want to be alone and don't want to be disturbed. Do you know what happens in these cases? Nobody will come near you!
- Put your phone away. If you seem busy, others won't want to interrupt you. Body language, on the other hand, should indicate that you are willing to socialize.
Step 3. Be authentic
Whether you're talking to an old friend or someone you've just met, show a real interest in what you're being told. Being involved in the conversation not only makes you an empathic person, it also predisposes you to interact with more people.
- Don't try to indulge others by telling them what they want to hear or what you think they like the most. Be yourself and nothing more.
- When you're in the middle of a conversation, don't pay attention to the phone, especially if it's a sensitive or important topic.
- Maintain some balance during the conversation. Don't always talk about yourself; you may appear self-centered. At the same time, express your opinions and show some interest in what you are told.
Step 4. Ask the people you talk to about them
Let's face it, people love to talk about themselves, and if you want to be more sociable and want to talk more with others, then you should show genuine interest and ask how it goes, how they feel, and what they do. It doesn't mean you have to mind other people's business or be nosy, asking very personal questions. Simply show interest by asking them to open up a little and expecting them to participate in the dialogue.
This is also a great trick if you are shy and don't like talking about yourself
Step 5. Be open minded
One reason for your lack of sociability may lie in your belief that others have nothing in common with you. You may think the other person is too dumb, or winning, or shy to really be your friend, but if you are open-minded and give others time to open up, you will find that you have a lot more in common with them than you think.
Don't give up on making friends with someone after just one conversation. Try talking to him other times to better understand his personality
Method 3 of 3: Part 3: Expand the Circle of Social Contacts
Step 1. Offer invitations
If you are the type of person who always waits for friends to call without reciprocating, it means that you are not doing your part. Remember that your friends may not know when you expect them to call you, and they may mistake your shyness for disinterest. If you want to see someone, then go find them.
- Call old friends you haven't seen in a while and arrange a reunion.
- Propose a dinner together or an outing and invite all friends, colleagues and acquaintances.
- Invite a friend to see a movie, or a game, a concert or whatever.
Step 2. Accept more invitations
If I'm always asking you out, or maybe even in a particular circumstance they ask you out, you should start taking their invitations seriously rather than declining them. Don't say you can't just because you feel too shy and believe you won't get along with the other person; on the contrary, think of all the other interesting people you might meet at the night you were invited to, whether it's a party, a sleepless night, or a night of reading.
- Get used to saying yes at least three times for every no you say.
- This doesn't mean you have to say yes to something that looks really horrible to you.
Step 3. Join a group of people who have the same interests as you
This is a good way to make new friends, in addition to the ones you can make at school, or at work. If you have a hobby, or have a particular interest, try to find a group of people who share the same passion as you.
- Join a sports group, literary club or sports team of your choice.
- If you don't have a hobby, try something new. Make sure you choose an activity that you can do as a group.
Step 4. Get to know your friends' friends
This is one of the easiest ways to meet new people. Consider people you already know as a possible "door" to broaden your social circle.
- Throw a party and tell your friends to invite other people they know. Remember that you can get along well with these people, since you have mutual friends.
- If a friend of yours invites you to a party where you don't know anyone, go there anyway. While it may seem awkward at first, it's a perfect way to meet new people.
Step 5. Don't live your "compartmentalized" life
Try not to see your working life totally separate from the family one etc … Although every area of your life requires a certain behavior, or a certain conduct, the best way to be more sociable is to open up to others, regardless of the situation or environment where you are. In other words, don't think you only have to socialize at a party, or when you go out on the weekend - always do it!
- Take advantage of every opportunity to socialize. For example, when you go to the bank why not try to ask the cashier how he is, instead of focusing solely on your cell phone and avoiding any kind of interaction.
- Get to know your co-workers better if you haven't already.
- Take part in social events with your family members. While it may sound boring, you will be surprised to find that you can make new friends wherever you go.
Step 6. Put your social life in the last place
No matter how long it takes, if you want to be more sociable, you have to party the goal of hanging out with other people at least a few times a week. Even though everyone needs some time to be alone, I'm going through a very stressful week, or maybe even a month, once in a while, no one should go two weeks without socializing except in extreme circumstances.
