The rules of dining and etiquette change over time. While you don't need to adhere to all of the etiquette recommendations, you should try to show some level of education when attending a dinner party with friends, family, or co-workers. Stick to good manners and behave gratefully and generously with the host. If you're planning on dining at a fancy restaurant, review the rules of etiquette in time.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Good Table Manners
Step 1. Don't talk with your mouth full
Most people will agree that talking while chewing is the first thing not to do when dining with friends. Those present would have a hard time understanding what you are saying, but most of all they could lose their hunger. If you have something to say, wait until you've swallowed your last bite before joining the conversation.
Step 2. Don't chew loudly
It is advisable to keep your mouth closed while chewing. The sound of food moving in your mouth can be annoying and distracting. The term "misophonia" describes well the intolerance reaction to this type of noise.
Step 3. Use the cutlery
There are some occasions when it is acceptable to eat with your hands, for example when the food is pizza. However, it is never permissible to take food from a shared dish with your fingers. In these cases it is essential to use the cutlery you have available.
Step 4. Don't eat from other people's dishes
Particularly if the person who ordered the dish you would like to taste has not yet tasted it themselves. If you regret the choice you made and one of your friends has a much more appetizing dish in front of him, you can say: "Your pasta looks really fabulous!". If you're lucky, he'll offer you to try a bite.
Step 5. Respect the customs of other cultures
The rules to be respected at the table and of good manners change according to the countries. For example, in some areas of Asia, soups must be eaten without using a spoon, bringing the dish directly to the mouth. If you don't know how to behave so as not to offend the diners, ask the host for advice or imitate the other guests.
Part 2 of 3: Being a Polite Guest
Step 1. Arrive on time
The host will want to serve the hot dinner and arriving late may delay the start time. As a general rule, you should arrive within 15 minutes of the scheduled time. Don't arrive too early as the landlord may be busy with preparations and your presence may be cumbersome.
- If you are early, stroll around the block or stay reading in the car until your scheduled arrival time.
- If you plan to arrive late, call the landlord in time, or send him a message, to let them know your expected arrival time. If the delay is over an hour, apologize and ask the host to start the dinner without you.
Step 2. Communicate food allergies and intolerances in time
If you've been invited to a friend's house for dinner, it's important to let them know if there's something you can't or don't want to eat. It is better to get him to create a menu based on your needs than to make him feel guilty because you cannot eat anything he has prepared.
- For example, if you do not eat meat for health or moral reasons, you should communicate this in advance.
- You can also offer to bring something you can eat to make the landlord's job easier.
Step 3. Don't bring a guest without permission
If you've been invited to a friend's house for dinner, don't bring someone who wasn't expected. If you want to be accompanied by a new partner, call the landlord in time to ask for his consent. Your friend will probably be happy to add another seat at the table.
Step 4. Arrive clean and well dressed
Choose clothes that allow you to feel comfortable and confident. Find out in time about the theme and setting of the dinner. You wouldn't make a good impression by showing up in shorts while all the other guests are wearing tuxedos and evening dresses. You would feel out of place and uncomfortable all through dinner.
Step 5. Bring a small gift
A suitable present for a dinner can be a bottle of wine, a bouquet of flowers or something good to eat, for example a jar of homemade jam or chocolates. The gift is a means of showing that you are happy that you received the dinner invitation and a way of thanking the host.
- If you have been invited to an informal dinner, for example at a barbecue in the garden or at the home of friends or close relatives, you can ask if you can bring something to serve on the table for the occasion. For example, you could take care of a side dish or dessert.
- On some occasions it may happen that the landlord asks guests not to bring anything. In these cases it is good to respect his indications.
Step 6. Ignore the mobile
It is extremely rude to spend the evening talking over the network with other people or checking social networks. You should show yourself involved in the conversations at the dinner table. By constantly looking at your mobile phone, you communicate to the landlord and other guests that you are bored or that you would rather be somewhere else.
There are some exceptions to this rule. For example, if you get an unexpected call from the babysitter, you can leave the dining room for a few minutes to answer
Step 7. Carry on polite conversations
Argue, but try to keep your voice calm and respectful. Don't interrupt other people while they talk, let them express themselves freely and show that you are listening to them by nodding occasionally and maintaining eye contact. Ask questions about the host, food, and other guests. This is the best way to show that you are participating and enjoying the company.
- Avoid sensitive topics, such as politics, sex, and religion.
- Stay on lighter topics, such as children, vacations, hobbies, and work.
Step 8. Thank the host for the pleasant evening
Before leaving the dinner venue, you should always thank the person who invited you for the great meal. If you want, you can go beyond simple thanks and invite her to come and dine at your house as well. This is an excellent way to show that you enjoyed the experience.
If you forgot to thank the host at the end of the evening, you can send him an email or a message the next day
Part 3 of 3: Respect the Rules of Etiquette
Step 1. Put the napkin on your lap
Before you start eating, unfold the napkin and place it on your lap. This way you will avoid getting your clothes dirty while eating. Tucking the corner of the napkin into your shirt or dress under your neck is a rude gesture to avoid during an elegant dinner.
- Lay the napkin on the chair whenever you temporarily leave the table.
- When the meal is done, fold the napkin neatly and place it on the table to the left of the plate.
Step 2. Use the cutlery in the appropriate order
During an elegant dinner, you may have three sets of cutlery around the plate. The forks will be placed on the left (where the outermost is that of the appetizer, while the one closest to the plate is the one for the salad), the knives will be placed on the right and the spoons in front of the plate or to the right of the knives. All cutlery is arranged according to the order of use, so start with the outer ones and work your way to the inner side closest to the plate.
However, if you are unsure which cutlery to use first, carefully observe the other diners and replicate their gestures
Step 3. Hold the cutlery correctly
Hold the fork in your left hand and point the tip of the prongs down. The knife must be held with the right hand. Use only the fork to pierce the food and bring it to the mouth, never the knife. When it's time to use the spoon, dip it into the center of the liquid dish. Lift the food by moving the spoon away from you, to the far side of the plate. Bring the spoon to your mouth and sip the contents.
Step 4. Start eating when all guests have been served
It is incredibly rude to start eating while other people at the table are still waiting to be served. The only exception to this rule is when the host asks to start or when other guests ask you to eat to prevent the food from getting cold.
Step 5. Taste before adding any more toppings
Most cooks are proud of the flavor they can give their dishes. For this reason, seasoning the food even before tasting it may seem like a rude gesture. In some upscale restaurants you won't even find salt and pepper on the table. Either way, it's always best to sample the food to determine whether to add other seasonings.
Step 6. Don't stretch out on the table
If you can't reach the bread basket or salt shaker, don't reach out across the table to pick them up yourself. Rather, politely ask another diner to pass them to you. If you have to pass a tray or plate, always hand it to the person on your right, unless it is intended for a specific person. Always pass the salt and pepper in pairs, not individually.
To ask a diner to pass you something, you can say for example: "Excuse me Paolo, could you pass me the butter?"
Step 7. Apologize before leaving the table
If you need to get away because you have to go to the bathroom, make a quick phone call, or touch up your makeup, that's no problem. Just stand up, place the napkin on the chair and say "Please excuse me". You don't need to give any details about your need to leave the table, but don't try to walk away without apologizing first.
If you have to leave before dinner is over, you should give a brief explanation and apologize to the guests for your absence
Advice
- Never serve yourself first. Let someone else start serving the food.
- Do not place anything on the table, for example your mobile phone or car keys. Don't add anything that wasn't there when you arrived.
- If the dinner was organized to celebrate a special occasion, such as a birthday, bring a small gift for the birthday boy as well as for the host.
- Don't eat too quickly, try to adapt to the rhythm of the other diners.
