Neurotic people find it difficult to manage stress and their emotions and therefore tend to often feel anxious or depressed. If you have a high level of neuroticism, you can challenge your thoughts and become more aware of your neuroses. Learn to accept your feelings and express your emotions in a healthy way. It also learns how best to behave when faced with a stressful situation.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Relating to Your Thoughts and Feelings
Step 1. Identify your emotions
You may be one of those people who need to be perceived as "perpetually kind" or who "never get angry". Perhaps you behave in a neurotic way when you confront an emotion that does not coincide with the perception you have of yourself and you react by trying to block it or evade it in some way. If you want to overcome your neuroticism, learn to perceive and recognize your emotions.
- For example, if you happen to feel sad, acknowledge that feeling of sadness. Notice what symptoms that feeling causes in your body and how it affects your thoughts and behaviors.
- Try to be aware of your feelings and notice what circumstances are making you anxious, stressed, or depressed.
Step 2. Express what you feel
Express your emotions the moment you feel them. Some people find it helpful to tell others how they feel. Others prefer to describe their feelings in a journal or listen to music, play an instrument, dance or exercise. You may find that in your case, meditating or practicing yoga helps you manage emotions and express them in a healthy way. What matters is to channel your feelings outward, rather than trapping them inside you, because repressed emotions can harm yourself and your relationships with others.
If talking about your feelings helps you feel better, confide in a good friend or therapist
Step 3. Challenge negative thoughts
If you tend to focus on unfavorable events, situations, or characteristics, change your internal dialogue. The way you talk to yourself in your mind can affect your perception of the world and the biggest problem is that you are convinced that your internal dialogue is objective. When you notice that you are mulling over negative thoughts, try asking yourself a few questions:
- Am I jumping to hasty and negative conclusions?
- Are my considerations realistic?
- Are there other points of view from which to look at the circumstances?
- How would a positive person cope with this situation?
- What's the best thing that can happen?
Step 4. Label your insecurities
Your neuroses can manifest in your habits, emotions, relationships, beliefs and justifications. They can lead you to avoid certain situations or to repress your feelings or, conversely, to express them in an exaggerated or disproportionate way, for example through a fit of anger. You probably tend to react neurotic when you feel threatened or insecure. Try to notice when you have these kinds of feelings and how you react when they arise.
For example, you may become overly anxious if someone is late and start calling them incessantly or immediately assume that they have decided to stand up to you
Step 5. Ask for the opinion of others
In some ways you may be unaware of how your neuroticism manifests itself, but for sure the people around you know it. If you are curious, ask your partner, friend, or trusted family member to describe your behaviors. They could provide you with an in-depth insight into yourself. But remember that you may not like the answer!
You can ask, "I want to improve myself and I would like to know how my neuroticism manifests itself. What have you noticed about me?"
Part 2 of 3: Dealing with Problems
Step 1. Be concrete when facing a problem
Instead of wallowing in feelings of sadness, insecurity, unease or anxiety, you react to events and resolve problems proactively. Recognize the emotions you are feeling and then get going to find a solution. For example, if you have a lot of things to do, you will likely tend to postpone them and focus on your anxiety. From now on, change your attitude; make a list of your to-dos and take care of a few every day to never feel so overwhelmed.
- It is normal to feel overwhelmed, anxious, stressed, or depressed from time to time. The important thing is to avoid feeling sorry for yourself and basking on these feelings.
- Find ways to face your fears and resist things less. If you are inclined to avoid certain tasks, set deadlines. For example, if you put off paying bills because money management makes you anxious, set one day a month to take care of the payments and forget about it.
Step 2. Create positive alternatives
If you tend to assume that the worst will happen or anticipate problems in many situations, begin to assume that positive things will happen. The same is also true for memories: if you often think back to past events, mostly considering only the negative aspects, start replying with positive elements.
- If you feel stressed about having to take an exam shortly thereafter, the good thing is that as soon as you're done, you can stop worrying.
- When a negative event arises, try to build a positive experience around the situation. For example, if your plane is delayed and you missed your connecting flight, the good thing is that you can choose another one without having to pay anything.
Step 3. Be flexible in dealing with others
Neuroticism can profoundly affect relationships with other people. For example, if you have rigid expectations of your partner or family members, each of them may feel that they cannot be satisfied or that they have to earn your love. If your relationships with others are generally difficult, learn to be flexible and don't require them to set too high standards. If someone lets you down, don't blame them for the rest of their days. Recognize that everyone makes mistakes and learn to forgive.
Don't let things like housework ruin relationships with your family. If you like cleaning done a certain way, make it clear what your expectations are
Part 3 of 3: Relieve Stress
Step 1. Do activities you enjoy
Find time to do fun and engaging things. Choose recreational and enjoyable pursuits that don't make you stressed and don't take a lot of time. These can be very simple entertainment, such as sipping a hot drink every morning or before bed, keeping a journal, playing with your pet, taking a hot bath, carving wood, or walking in nature.
- If you are too busy to do something fun every day, still try to have fun at least 2-3 times a week.
- When you exercise, your body produces endorphins and other hormones that automatically improve your mood. Especially if you are prone to neurotic behavior, exercising regularly can help you fight anxiety and depression.
Step 2. Be grateful
Gratitude can bring greater happiness into your life and help reduce stress and anxiety. This is a very simple practice that takes only a few minutes a day. You could start a gratitude journal or simply think about three things you feel grateful for before getting out of bed in the morning and three more before falling asleep at night.
Get in the habit of giving thanks every day. You can use a bracelet and think of something you feel grateful for every time you look at it
Step 3. Adopt strategies to stop neuroses
Find a healthy way to relieve stress and enter a state of relaxation. Choose your favorite practices and do them every day for 30 minutes to keep stress under control. Think of a range of activities you can do to relieve anxiety, such as writing in a journal, listening to music, drawing, coloring, or going for a walk.
Try practicing yoga, qi gong, tai chi, or meditating daily
Step 4. Go to a therapist
If you are having a hard time getting over neuroticism on your own, going to a therapist could be very helpful. For example, cognitive-behavioral psychotherapy helps the patient to confront his own negative thoughts and replace them with more positive ones. The psychotherapist will show you how to effectively combat stress and be happier in your daily life.
