People can feel lonely for a variety of different reasons, including simple social distress or voluntary isolation. Some may even feel lonely when surrounded by other people, because they have no meaningful connections. Everyone experiences loneliness in one way or another, and it's never pleasant. However, it is possible to manage it in various ways, for example by meeting new people, learning to appreciate the time spent with oneself and reuniting with one's relatives. Read on to find out more solutions that will help you cope with loneliness.
Steps
Method 1 of 4: Understanding the Feelings That Accompany Loneliness
Step 1. Identify the reasons why you feel lonely
To make truly worthwhile changes, you need to take some time to understand why you are feeling lonely. For example, you might assume that you don't have enough friends and therefore try to go out to socialize and get acquainted. Despite this, if your loneliness is not due to the number of acquaintances, but to the lack of important connections, there is the risk that you will continue to feel alone even after making new friends. Consider some of the following questions to determine why you are feeling lonely:
- When do you feel most alone?
- Do some people make you feel more alone when you are in their company?
- How long have you been feeling this way?
- What does the feeling of loneliness make you want to do?
Step 2. Start keeping a journal to check what you think and feel
A journal can help you better understand the feelings that accompany loneliness - and it's also a great way to relieve stress. To start writing, choose a comfortable place and allow about 20 minutes a day to devote to this activity. Try to write down how you feel or what you think, or you can use an incipit that prompts you to put your feelings on paper, for example:
- "I feel lonely when …"
- "I feel lonely because …"
- When did you start feeling lonely? How long have you been feeling this way?
Step 3. Practice meditation
Some research suggests that meditation can mitigate the feelings associated with loneliness and depression. It is also a great way to connect more deeply with the feelings that accompany this state of mind and begin to understand where they come from. Learning to meditate takes time, practice and guidance, so your best bet is to take a meditation class. If you can't find it in your city, you can buy some CDs to help you learn to meditate.
- To start meditating, find a quiet place and get comfortable. You could sit on a chair or cushion placed on the floor with your legs crossed. Close your eyes and focus on your breath. While focusing on your breathing, try not to get distracted by your thoughts. Let them be born and go away.
- Without opening your eyes, observe your surroundings. Also pay attention to how you feel. What do you feel? What smells do you feel? How do you feel, physically and emotionally?
Step 4. Consider talking to a therapist about your state of mind
It can be difficult to understand why you feel lonely and how to overcome these feelings. An accredited mental health professional can help you understand and analyze your loneliness. This could be a sign of depression or other underlying psychological problems. By consulting a therapist, you can find out what is happening to you and choose the best solution.
Method 2 of 4: Comfort Yourself
Step 1. Be aware that you are not alone
Loneliness is part of human nature, but it could make you feel unable to have a normal life. Contact a friend or family member and talk to them about how you feel. As you express your feelings, try asking him if he has ever experienced similar feelings as well. By seeking a dialogue and sharing your mood with someone, you will realize that you are not alone.
- Try saying, for example, "I've been feeling lonely lately and I've been wondering if you've ever felt the same."
- If you don't have a friend or family member to talk to, talk to a teacher, counselor, or priest.
Step 2. Try to move on
Instead of constantly thinking about how lonely you feel, do something to distract your mind. Go for a walk, take a bike ride or read a book. Search for different activities and hobbies without fear of trying new things. By having experiences, you will have topics to talk about when you are in various social contexts (that is, when you talk to multiple people) and also the possibility of engaging in conversations that can pique the interest of your interlocutors.
Keep busy. Often, the time spent doing nothing generates a sense of loneliness. Throw yourself into work or extracurricular activities
Step 3. Do social activities alone
If you don't have someone to hang out with frequently, make sure that absence doesn't stop you from hanging out and having fun. For example, if you feel like going out for dinner or a movie, take the initiative and go to a movie theater or a nice restaurant. Even if, at first, doing things alone that you have always done in company makes you uncomfortable, do not hesitate. It's not that unusual to find people who go out alone to have fun! By remembering why you did those things before, you will come back to appreciate them again.
- Bring a book, magazine or newspaper with you, if you go out to eat or have a coffee alone, so you will be just as busy as if you were chatting with someone. Keep in mind that people sometimes go out on their own purposely just to have a "proper" moment to spend alone. Those who see you sitting without company may not assume that you have no friends.
- It will probably take some time to get used to the feeling of going out on your own. Don't give up if the first few attempts are a little awkward.
Step 4. Consider adopting a pet
If you are suffering from having no company, consider adopting a dog or cat at your local kennel or cattery. There's a reason animals have been human pets for centuries: winning an animal's trust and affection can be a deeply rewarding experience.
Be a responsible owner. Be sure to spay or neuter him. Commit to bringing a pet into your life only if you are able to handle everything you need to care for them every day
Method 3 of 4: Return to Social Life
Step 1. Get involved in various activities
To make new friends, you will need to go out and get involved. Consider signing up for a sports competition, taking a course, or volunteering within your community. If you are very shy, find a group to deal with social anxiety, including online. Evaluate sites like Craigslist, Meetup, or local news sites to find out about organized businesses near you.
Don't go to various places with the sole idea of making new friends and meeting people. Try to go without any expectations and have fun no matter what happens. Identify the activities that interest you most and that also involve groups of people, such as literary circles, church groups, political campaigns, concerts and art exhibitions
Step 2. Challenge yourself by taking initiatives in social relationships
Often, to make new friends, you need to move first, inviting people to do something. Don't wait for them to get close to you - you do it. Ask someone if they would like to chat or have coffee with you. You must always show interest in others, before others show interest in you.
- Be yourself when making new friends. Don't try to impress an unknown person by showing yourself for what you are not. There is a risk that the relationship will die in the bud.
- Try to listen. Be very careful when people talk. It is important to know how to respond to what people say to show that you listen to them, otherwise they may feel that you are neglecting them.
Step 3. Spend time with family members
By trying to deepen relationships with your family, you may even stop feeling lonely. Even if you don't have a particularly close relationship with a member of your family, you always have the option of recovering them by offering them an invitation. For example, you might ask a relative you haven't seen in a while to go out for lunch or meet up for coffee.
When trying to mend or deepen relationships with your family, you can use the same strategies you use to make new friends. Take the initiative by asking the person out, be yourself and listen
Step 4. Be a pleasant presence
Try to attract people by behaving in a fun and pleasant way. Instead of criticizing, compliment. When you talk about this and that, don't be fussy about how others dress, their hair and their habits. They absolutely don't need someone to remind them of the little stain on their shirt when they can't do anything, right now, to fix it. They need to feel how good their sweatshirt is or that you've read their article. Try not to focus the whole conversation on these kinds of topics, but give a brief hint when something has struck you. It is the best way to break the ice, and it also allows you to earn their trust over time, because people understand that you are not there to criticize it.
Step 5. Join an online community
Sometimes connecting with people using the internet can be easier than doing it in person, but keep in mind that online interaction does not replace personal bonds of real dating. However, virtual communities can sometimes be a valuable way to share thoughts and experiences or ask questions of someone who is going through situations similar to their own. In online forums you often have a chance to find comfort while, at the same time, offering yours to other users.
Remember to behave wisely when browsing the internet. Not everyone is what they say they are and there are many who take advantage of lonely people
Method 4 of 4: Appreciate Loneliness
Step 1. Understand the difference between loneliness and being lonely
The first is a condition of unhappiness because one is alone. The second, on the other hand, is a condition of happiness in being alone. There is nothing wrong with being a loner, wanting to be alone or feeling good about yourself. Time spent without company can be just as useful and enjoyable.
Step 2. Make a commitment to improve and make yourself happy
Usually, we devote most of our time to others and we tend to forget ourselves. If you are going through a time of solitude, take advantage of it for everything you would like to do for yourself. This is a great opportunity and you should be happy about it!
Step 3. Consider joining a gym
Training and taking care of your body is the first thing you neglect when you are very busy. If you've been spending little time with other people lately, use this freedom to exercise your physique. If you go to the gym, you will certainly have the chance to meet some new friends or someone special!
Step 4. Learn something new
Cultivating a new hobby can help you overcome the sense of loneliness, even if you do it alone. You could start playing an instrument, learning to draw or dance. Engaging in these activities with other people could help you make new friends and you can find creative outlet for your emotions. Turn your loneliness into something beautiful!
- Cook a delicious dish or make cakes for friends and neighbors. Cooking is a rewarding activity and focus your energy on something nutritious.
- Consider joining an association to meet other people to share your passion with.
Step 5. Do something great
People often have ambitious plans, but find thousands of excuses not to commit. Have you ever wanted to write a book? Shoot a movie? Use loneliness to accomplish something great. Who knows, it could turn into a project that helps other people cope with loneliness.
Advice
- Don't trade casual acquaintances for deep, trustworthy friendships, to which you can confide everything. Build trust gradually and accept others as they are. There is nothing wrong with surrounding yourself with acquaintances: a fair number of friends that you are comfortable with and enjoy sharing different activities and, finally, a close circle of close friends that you trust blindly. Think of the people you have contact with as a series of concentric circles.
- Realize that "you can be alone even in a crowd". You may have friends, family and acquaintances and still feel alone. Some find it difficult to connect with the people around them. In this case, a consultant might help.
- Learn to be happy with yourself. When you love yourself and like yourself, it shows. People appreciate dating those who are positive and confident.
- Know that you don't have to be in a romantic relationship to be happy. It may be difficult to see friends dating and dating; in these cases, there is a risk of feeling "wrong". However, you don't have to have a partner to feel part of a group or to be surrounded by people who care about you. Try to make new friends and only go on couple dates when you feel ready.
- Remember that the reason you feel uncomfortable is because everyone is. People are not focused on your mistakes, rather they are concerned with their own.
- Create a positive atmosphere. Realize that if you are basically a loner, you have the opportunity to do something new to relax or nurture your creative spirit. After all, even the most famous personalities spend a lot of time alone.
- Be yourself! You don't have to be another person so that others appreciate you and want to be with you. Each has their own style and uniqueness. Spend time alone to better understand what your qualities are. People will love you for who you are and not for what you want to be.
- Sometimes you may force yourself to be what you are not. Don't do this, even if you have a hard time going through it. It is better to go out, meet other people and have new experiences. Love yourself and others will do the same.
- If you are a believer, consider making friends with your faith. Most churches welcome associations where members meet regularly. If yours doesn't, consider organizing one.
- Rest helps you remember things and calms you down.
- Think of a place that gives you happiness or that you like.
- Listen to music or read a book written in the second person to get the impression that someone is talking to you.
Warnings
- If you're feeling lonely, consider taking a break from social networks like Facebook and Twitter. They are not useful for deepening social relationships. On these sites you can not only find cruel people, but you can also read "status updates" with fun experiences and activities that could worsen your mood. Instead, try to go out and do something in real life. For example, you could go for a long walk, play with your dog, or spend some time with your siblings.
- Becoming addicted to online communities and social networks can worsen your situation and make it far more complicated. Use the internet to meet new people who live in your area and share your interests. Make an effort to get to know your virtual friends in real life. These sites could be a great filter to find people who have the same affinities as you, but don't expect them to be as they appear online in everyday life.
- If you continue to feel lonely, seek help from a doctor. It could be a depressive symptom.
- Loneliness is a condition that sects, gangs and other groups profit from to negatively affect those who are vulnerable. Be very careful and listen to what others have to say about any groups you plan to join.
- You may find unscrupulous people in the wrong groups. Look for only honest and loyal people in the right groups.
