Many people can't stand having to spend time alone. However, in order to truly enjoy the company of others, you should first learn to appreciate your own. If you agree to give loneliness a chance, you may find that you are very productive when you spend time alone with yourself. Also, if you are able to make good use of the moments when you are alone, you will be more attentive, relaxed and positive when you have the opportunity to be around others. Learn to appreciate solitude by using your time to reflect, stimulate emotions and creativity, or carry out your projects.
Steps
Part 1 of 4: Learning to Appreciate Loneliness
Step 1. Evaluate the benefits of loneliness
Many people mistakenly equate it with isolation or abandonment, but the truth is that loneliness is not a condition imposed by others. Feeling isolated or abandoned can make you sad or desperate. Conversely, loneliness can be a happy time to dedicate to the renewal and exploration of yourself. The following are some of the benefits you can reap from spending time alone:
- Your brain has time to take a break to rest and restart;
- Your personal productivity level increases;
- You learn more about yourself;
- If you have a problem, you have the opportunity to better explore the options available to you and therefore more likely to find an adequate solution;
- The perception you have of yourself improves and therefore you are able to establish healthier interpersonal relationships.
Step 2. Progressively increase the time you spend alone
If you generally think that loneliness is boring and unpleasant, be content with taking very small steps, it is better not to force yourself to be left alone for a long time. The best tactic is to gradually increase the moments of solitude.
- If you are usually surrounded by other people all the time, just schedule 30 minutes a day to spend alone for a whole week. You may decide to drive to work in your car or on foot instead of having a colleague give you a ride as usual. Or you could take a short walk to the park or along the beach. Simply make a commitment to dedicate half an hour each day to an activity that you can do without anyone being present or interrupted.
- Take notes of these experiences. Was it better than you thought? Are you bored? Why? Write down as much detail as possible to better understand your aversion to loneliness.
Step 3. Prepare intelligently for moments of loneliness
Just because you're convinced that being alone is boring doesn't mean it really has to be. As your appointment with yourself approaches, start making plans to fill it with interesting and satisfying activities.
- For example, assuming you've decided to spend a weekend at home alone, you can rent a few movies, plan on doing a creative project, or decide to use your time to finish a school search. To keep your energy up and make your days less dull, also get books, music, and other entertainment tools.
- Preparing for moments of loneliness can be the key to making time go by faster. All you have to do is anticipate numerous activities that you enjoy doing to fill your hours.
Part 2 of 4: Stimulating Psychological Wellbeing and Creativity
Step 1. Develop a passion for art
As creativity blooms during moments of solitude, you can take advantage of it to plan activities that will help you nurture it. When you are not distracted by the demand for time and attention from others, your mind opens up to more possibilities.
The moments when you are alone are a great opportunity to gather ideas and start a new business project, write a novel, develop a new song, create terracotta objects, improve your skills as a photographer and so on.. Even if you don't work in a purely creative field, you can still benefit from a flash of inventiveness
Step 2. Take up a hobby
While you can pursue your interests and passions with others, you can also have fun by making a point of achieving results on your own. Whatever hobby makes you feel happy and peaceful, do it in complete solitude. Doing so has the dual benefit of allowing you to relax and relieve stress without help. You can take advantage of it to do those things that your friends or partner don't care about or don't have time to join you for.
The activities you can do on your own cover the entire spectrum of hobbies available. You can hike in the mountains, read a book, visit a museum or browse the stalls of a flea market
Step 3. Play with a furry friend
Just because you're not spending your time with other humans doesn't mean you can't enjoy the company of an animal. For example, taking care of a dog can help you overcome a large number of illnesses, including anxiety, depression and loneliness as a psychological disorder. The dog encourages you to get out of the house and be outdoors, keeps you company, doesn't need to have conversation and helps you make healthier choices.
Step 4. Take care of yourself
Having free time to spend alone is a perfect opportunity to indulge in activities that nourish and calm your mind, body and soul. Many people neglect themselves because they are always too busy doing other things. However, providing for our mental and emotional well-being can help us to be more productive, focused and also to cope with stress in everyday life, regardless of the type of career.
- Activities that allow you to take care of your body, mind and soul include everything you enjoy doing that helps you get back to health. This can be meditating in the morning before starting your daily routine or relaxing in the evening by taking a long hot bath at the end of the work day.
- Select some activities that you consider relaxing and do them during the moments you spend alone each week. After some time you may find that you begin to appreciate loneliness!
Part 3 of 4: Using Moments of Solitude to Reflect
Step 1. Be grateful for the life you have
A great way to constructively use the time you spend alone is to start a gratitude journal. Feeling grateful allows you to appreciate the things you already have instead of worrying about the ones you don't have. Gratitude promotes positive thoughts and even improves mood.
Spend a few minutes of your time making a short written list of the things / people / opportunities you feel grateful for. This can be something as simple as having a bed to lay down in at night or a moment to dedicate to yourself
Step 2. Set realistic goals and develop a plan to achieve them
Being alone can be a great opportunity to reflect on your personal development. Use the time at your disposal to evaluate your goals, professional and personal, and how long you are missing to achieve them. If you have not yet set concrete goals, now is the time to do so and create an action plan that will allow you to achieve them.
- Since loneliness promotes focus and productivity, it is a perfect opportunity to analyze your goals and plan a method for realizing your projects. Just make sure they are SMART goals - that is, they are specific, measurable, actionable, relevant, and tied to a deadline.
- Grab a notebook and write down some of your main goals, then design strategies to help you accomplish them. Generally the more complex goals are easier to reach after having divided them into multiple intermediate stages, which will progressively guide you towards the final goal. For example, assuming you want to go to live in Spain, it will be helpful to proceed step by step: save money, study the Spanish language and find a job in the new destination.
Step 3. Record your thoughts and behaviors in a journal
It is an excellent way to reflect on your ways of thinking and doing, while getting to know yourself better. Taking a few moments of solitude to write down how your day went can help you relieve stress, identify your thinking and behavior patterns, and find new solutions to problems. As a result, your level of well-being and mental health will improve and if you find yourself facing new difficulties in the future you will feel more confident.
Step 4. Engage in spiritual practices
Loneliness can also help you become more spiritual. Whether this results in following the principles of your religion more diligently or discovering the true purpose of life, you will have the ability to think more clearly and deeply by being alone.
Each person attributes a different meaning to the term spirituality, but in general it refers to connecting with one's inner self - a process that can only be done in solitude. Use your time to meditate, practice yoga, pray or reflect in nature and gain greater spiritual understanding
Part 4 of 4: Making up for lost time
Step 1. Exercise when you are alone
Exercising regularly is important for a long and healthy life. In addition, when the body is in motion, the brain releases chemicals called endorphins that create a feeling of well-being, improve mood and take worries away from the mind. If you have some time to spare, take the opportunity to get some exercise.
In addition to putting you in a good mood, exercising makes you more energetic, strengthens your immune system, allows you to sleep better, and helps you maintain a healthy body weight. Go for a run or walk with your dog, hike a path in a wood outside the city, or go grocery shopping at the farmers' market on a weekend bike
Step 2. Take a nap
Sometimes you can be so overwhelmed with commitments with others that you don't have time to rest properly. Taking a nap during the last few hours of the day can interfere with sleep at night, but if the time of day is right, getting some sleep can help you feel more energized and rested for later appointments.
The important thing is to take a short nap, a maximum of 20-30 minutes, and that there are still several hours to go to bed for the night
Step 3. Take care of housework and routine errands
When you are not surrounded by relatives or friends, you can take advantage of it to catch up with the commitments that come from the daily grind, such as doing laundry or checking your bank statements and bills. If you have a long time to spend alone, prepare a list of projects you wish you could have done and start putting them into practice. In this way the moments of solitude will prove more productive and moreover time will seem to pass faster.
Step 4. Do nothing
Some people have a habit of scheduling practically every single moment of their day. The truth is, being "busy" all the time can make you mistakenly believe you are productive, but it really isn't. Some think that having free time is a sign of weakness or that they are not trying hard enough, so they aim to always be busy.
- Understand that free time can be incredibly positive when used to find relief and do activities that restore strength. Conversely, if you engage in silly activities to simply distract you, you will end up feeling even more stressed than relaxed.
- Reflect on the things you do when you are alone and consider if they have any positive benefits or serve only to distract you while waiting to find yourself in the company of other people again.
