In recent years, films and TV series have been shot on the theme of friends with benefits. In film or television couples, the two characters who make this pact almost always fall in love and, as in any self-respecting happy ending story, they get together. How to avoid entering dangerous territory? Find out by reading this article!
Steps
Method 1 of 3: Choose the Right Friend
Step 1. Choose a person available, in every sense
She will have to be single, but as soon as she gets out of a devastating relationship, and not be so absorbed in studying that she practically lives in the library. Plus, she'll need to be fun, emotionally stable, and ready for anything.
Step 2. Choose a person who doesn't want to be romantically attached to you
Relationships of this type often end because one of the couple falls in love with the other. So, if you want to go out with this person or you wouldn't care about them if they were disappointed, better discard them. How do you know who will get too attached and who will not? Well, it's hard to be absolutely sure, but there are clues to catch:
- This person is often described as "clingy" by friends or exes.
- He doesn't have many friends or interests - he may not have better things to do than be with you.
- You know she liked you a lot in the past or that she had a little bit for you.
Step 3. Choose a person you already like, but not that much
You should find it cute and fun, you should like it just as you like spending a day on the beach with your friends. Having affection for him is not wrong, but nothing too serious should arise.
- Choose a person you already like, but you don't want to have a romantic relationship with. Get out of your comfort zone and remember that you are looking for a sexual partner, not one for life. If you opt for a person you would get engaged to, you risk falling in love with them.
- You should have natural chemistry with this person, mostly physically.
Step 4. Choose someone outside your social or work group, or the relationship will get weird
Relationships between friends with benefits usually last a few months, so don't choose a person you will always have to see.
Step 5. Choose a person who has already had experiences of this type, and, if she is good in bed, so much the better
Since your relationship will be purely physical, this is what matters to you. If, on the other hand, the potential person has only had one relationship that lasted seven years, it is best to leave it alone.
Method 2 of 3: Start the Relationship
Step 1. Flirt with this person
Tease her, playfully touch her, or pay attention to her. Make her understand that you are interested, perhaps with a little subtle compliments. You don't have to be discreet in this situation.
Step 2. Start seeing and kissing
Tell this person that you are attracted to, but don't compliment their personality or make them think you want to go out with them.
Step 3. Establish the rules
Each non-couple is different. Some friends with benefits know each other well enough to set rules before embarking on this relationship. However, it pays to talk about it before having sex:
- First, it needs to be clear to both of you that you are not dating, you are just having fun. You should both be sentimentally free.
- Don't see each other too often: two or three times a week will suffice, preferably at night. If you see each other every day you will look like a real couple.
- Agree on ending the relationship when one person gets too attached, unless you both start feeling something.
Step 4. Have fun having sex and trying what inhibited you with ex partners
Experiment and learn new moves to use in the future. Experience new places and locations.
Step 5. Communicate
Even though you are not in a romantic relationship, make sure you know each other at least a little and agree on how to behave when you are around other people. If you have another friend with benefits, don't hide them. You don't have to totally open up, but talk about what works and what doesn't work between you.
Method 3 of 3: Continue Enjoying the Benefits
Step 1. Remember that you are free to see other people as well
If you only have this relationship with one person, then it could turn into a relationship. Look around you if that's not what you want. Don't wait to get a message from her, try to have more than one option.
Step 2. Go for lightness
You can go out together, but remember that you are not in a relationship. For example, you can go for a drink, but not go to dinner. Also find an excuse for your friend not to stay long at your house.
- If he is staying for the night, don't make breakfast or kiss him when he leaves. Be kind, but avoid overdoing it with affection.
- Don't do things as a couple, like going on a mini-vacation, grocery shopping, or going on a double date.
- Do not go shopping together and do not have this person accompany you to a wedding or party.
- Don't give her gifts or just call her to chat.
- Keep your distance. Don't see her more than two or three times a week.
Step 3. Continue to focus on your goals and enjoyment
Your relationship won't have to take you a lot of time.
Step 4. End the relationship at the right time
There are three main reasons: a person gets too attached, a person finds someone they really want to hang out with, or both of them get bored. There is also a fourth reason, which is temporal: the end of summer or a long journey or graduation.
- When you feel it's over, don't go around it too much. If you have established rules, it shouldn't be difficult to end the relationship.
- But, if you've fallen in love, keep seeing each other.
Advice
- Keep the relationship light and fun. Don't get jealous if your friend has a crush on someone else or sees other people too. Remember this is not a serious relationship.
- Do not let this person accompany you to family meetings, unless they know your family, otherwise you will look like a couple.
- Make sure you feel comfortable.
- Don't speak in terms of "we". You are not a couple.
- Don't talk about the future. Commitment is not expected, except in rare exceptions.
- Be aware of what you want before starting a relationship like this.
Warnings
- If you are a woman, try not to get pregnant and to have safe sex. Of course, men also need to pay attention.
- There is always the possibility of falling in love. Be honest with each other. If you have the same feelings, then you can become a couple.
- Don't get used. If your friend never talks to you in public or completely ignores you, don't do anything with him.
- Make sure you feel the same.
