Are you okay with a guy and want the relationship to become official? Or maybe you have been together for a long time with your boyfriend and are you ready for the wedding? How to get a man to take a step forward? Read on to find out.
Steps
Step 1. Make sure you're ready for the big step before you talk to him about it
You will need to be sure for the right reasons. Whether you want to be his girlfriend or you want to propose marriage to him, you need to know what you want.
- Write a list of reasons why you want the relationship to become more serious. The reasons will have to come to your mind naturally, you don't have to force yourself.
- Don't force your boyfriend just because you've been dating or dating for a long time. A big step must be taken because you feel ready, not because it is logical.
- Don't force the situation just because your friends are doing it. You have to follow your dreams, not conform to those of others.
- Don't let external forces like those of your parents or friends put pressure on your relationship.
- Only advance the report if you want to share more with him, not to get a title.
- If you want to move in with him, propose it only because you want the relationship to strengthen, not because you want to divide the rent and expenses. This way, you will condemn the relationship.
- If you want him to ask you to marry him, make sure you want to spend the rest of your life with him, that he is the right person and that it is impossible to give up.
Step 2. And is he ready?
You will need to be on the same wavelength. If you know he doesn't think the same way you do, clarify your ideas to decide what to do. It is ready if:
- He is lost in love with you, he admires you and is happy with you.
- He feels comfortable talking about your future together, about what your children and home will be like.
- If your relationship is stable, you spend a lot of time together, you share the things you love, and you have an open and honest communication, chances are it will be like that in the future as well. If you are always fighting and are unhappy, you may want to solve your problems before taking a step forward.
- If you want him to ask you to be his girlfriend, you'll have to make sure you're the only one.
- If you want him to ask you to move in together, be prepared for the responsibility that this entails, both emotionally and financially.
- If you want him to ask you to marry him, you should be satisfied and proud of him, but above all you have to feel confident that you want to take the plunge with this person.
Step 3. Let him know that you are ready for the relationship to develop
Without being insistent, send him signals. On the other hand, he doesn't have a crystal ball and, if you don't tell him what you want, he won't be able to do anything:
- Tell him that he really means a lot to you and you want your relationship to continue.
- You don't have to prepare a speech to tell him you're ready, but insert some clues naturally when you speak.
- If your friends have already taken this step, mention their happiness without comparing relationships.
- Ask him a few informal questions about his future to see if he talks about you.
- Show him your love and affection without suffocating him.
Step 4. Make him understand that taking an important step will bring him many benefits
Show him that you are the right person to make a life commitment with. In addition to being fun, positive, interesting and personable as well as a great partner, you should:
- Prepare a to-do list to improve your qualities and soften flaws, such as being more independent from him and more relaxed, without planning every minute of your life.
- Show your empathy. He wants someone who understands his feelings, who helps him when he feels hurt and who is sensitive to his weaknesses.
- Prove your independence. If on the one hand you want to be closer to him, you should keep your passions, your friendships and your dreams, do not cling to him, or he will fear that you will never give him respite.
- Show him that you have a lot to teach him, from relaxing to being a more organized person. He will have to understand that being with you will make him a better person.
- Show him your generosity. Being with someone also means compromising and understanding the other's point of view. He will need to know that you can have constructive conversations and that you will not throw a tantrum for always winning it.
Step 5. Wait for him to propose to you to be his girlfriend or wife
Do you love tradition and would you like him to take the first step? Wait and don't be nagging. Give him time to understand the importance of this commitment and, perhaps, he has not yet asked you because he is waiting for the right time.
Wait patiently, but don't be passive. As we have already recommended, send him some clues and wait for a while. If he does not come forward, however, you will have to take the first step by introducing the topic
Step 6. When you are ready to take a step forward, talk about it honestly
- Make it clear what your intentions are and tell him that he is essential to you.
- Don't get him defensive with questions like “Why haven't you asked me to be your girlfriend yet? Do I have something wrong?”. You will catch him off guard and he won't know what to tell you.
- Listen to it. A conversation involves an exchange between you, so ask him "What do you think?" or "How do you feel about it?". Show them that you care about their opinions.
- Pick the right time. This is a serious conversation, so you shouldn't have any distractions around you. Turn off the TV, while mobile phones will need to be set to silent. Don't talk during the most stressful days for you, or you won't be receptive.
Step 7. Don't be disappointed if it doesn't work
If you've tried them all and he refuses to commit, remember that not everything in life goes according to plan. You have done your best, but now you are at a crossroads. You can:
- End the relationship. If you've been trying for years, now is the time to accept that he has no intention of getting married. Do you dream of a wedding? Then you have a serious incompatibility problem.
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Give it some time. Ask yourself if he has a good reason not to take your relationship to the next level. If you've been dating for a couple of months, maybe he's still reeling from the end of his previous eight-year relationship and doesn't have the emotional resources to give you what you want right now. Or maybe he's about to change his job, has important career decisions to make, and he's feeling nervous.
If you feel that the problem is situational, and not caused by its intrinsic values, be patient and try again. But be aware of the difference between waiting for him to come to the end of a rough path and always finding excuses to justify his relationship phobia
