Trying to talk to a girl you don't know can be a nerve-wracking situation, but with a few conversation points, you can feel confident and ready to try. If you're talking online or via a dating app, start with a friendly, personal message to prove you're thinking of her. If you approach her in person, give her a warm smile and read her body language to see if she is ready to speak. So start the conversation by talking about where you are, ask her friendly questions, make her laugh and let her hang on your lips asking for her phone number.
Steps
Part 1 of 3: Approaching a Girl in Person
Step 1. Prepare yourself well to boost your self-esteem
Make sure you look and feel your best, take a shower, put on deodorant and put on your favorite clothes. You don't have to try to look different than usual, just pay a little attention to the appearance and you'll have enough courage to approach any girl.
How attractive you are depends more on how you present yourself than on your physical appearance. If you show that you care about yourself and that you are a friendly and smiling person, you will be much more attractive
Step 2. Take a deep breath and remind yourself of why you are awesome
It's normal to feel a little nervous when talking to a stranger, so try to calm yourself by taking deep breaths and reminding yourself of your best qualities. Remember, you have nothing to lose! If he doesn't want to talk to you, it doesn't matter, but if you don't try, you'll never know.
Repeat to yourself: "I'm kind, I'm funny and I'm wearing this beautiful sweatshirt. He'll be happy to talk to me."
Step 3. Make eye contact with her
As you approach, try to make eye contact so she knows you're going to her and isn't surprised. To be as friendly as possible, try to approach her from the side or front, rather than from the shoulders, so she can see you. Eye contact can help gain her trust and let her know you want to talk to her.
If you have to approach her from behind, you can try saying "Hi" instead of tapping her on the shoulder. Some girls get scared when someone suddenly touches them
Step 4. Smile as you approach
A smile will show her that you are friendly and helpful. It can help make the girl feel confident when she is with you, because you will seem more relaxed and not looking for a conquest.
You will look even more fun if you smile instead of frowning
Step 5. Interpret her body language for signs that she is ready to speak
Positive signs can be a smile, leaning towards you, making eye contact, and playing with your clothes or hair. Signs that she isn't interested in talking to you could include crossing her arms, looking down, walking away, or looking at the phone.
If you know she's shy, then don't take the fact that she doesn't look you in the eye as a bad sign
Step 6. Walk away respectfully if they don't seem to want to talk to you
Try not to take it personally. She may have had a bad day, be very shy, or maybe she has a crush on someone else and doesn't want to flirt with you.
You can try to bring it back another day, to see if it is more available. However, if she still isn't interested, it's best to let it go. He may find you creepy and annoying if you keep insisting. Instead, try to think of other girls you might try to talk to
Part 2 of 3: Keeping the Conversation Alive
Step 1. Start a conversation based on where you are
For example, if you meet a girl at the bus stop, you could talk to her about the weather. If you are in a bar, you may want to ask her for help deciding which drink to order.
Talking about your environment is a great way to start a conversation with someone you don't know, it's casual and friendly
Step 2. Introduce yourself and ask her what her name is
After talking for a minute, introduce yourself and ask her what her name is. You can only give her your first name if you want to keep the conversation relaxed. Saying your name is a great way to establish a connection.
Tell her "Anyway, I'm Gio. What's your name?"
Step 3. Try to make her laugh
Many girls find humor fascinating. If you like telling jokes, don't be afraid to be a fool. You can make wacky comments about things around you, you can say something a little self-deprecating or tell her a joke. You can also tease her gently, but be careful not to go any further and hurt her feelings.
If you find it difficult to joke with someone you don't know, don't force yourself. You can charm her with other aspects of your character, such as positivity or your beautiful smile
Step 4. Ask her open questions and listen to her
The best way to keep a conversation going is to exchange ideas. If you're feeling nervous, you may be tempted to talk too much, but you'll have a better chance of meeting a girl if you ask her open questions and really listen to what she says.
- Don't ask her too personal questions right away. You might ask her, "How come you like this bar?" or "I like your Hogwarts shirt. What's your favorite Harry Potter book?"
- If you talk to her while you are in school, you might say, "Who is your history teacher" or "Are you on the basketball team? I think I saw you play last week."
Step 5. Keep the conversation positive
When you say something, say it with positive energy. If you get to know her better, then you can talk about deeper things but for the moment she talks about things and people that you are passionate about. You will seem to her an exciting and caring person.
For example, if she tells you what her favorite band is and asks if you like it, don't say "Oh I hate them. They suck." Instead, take the conversation to the positive side by saying, "I don't know them well. But I like outdoor concerts. Have you ever seen one?"
Step 6. Give her a discreet compliment
Focus on her personality, such as "You are so funny" or "You are very sweet". If you want to compliment her about her appearance, talk about her smile, her hair, and her clothes. Be honest and use words like cute and pretty instead of telling her she's sexy to avoid embarrassing her.
- Try to compliment her by dropping it naturally during the conversation. If she says something that makes you laugh, say, "You're so funny" after you stop laughing. If she says something nice, tell her, "You're so sweet." If there is a pause in the conversation and she smiles, tell her, "You have a beautiful smile."
- Pay attention to how she reacts to your compliment. If she blushes, smiles, laughs, or even compliments you, that's a good sign. If she looks scared and tries to walk away, she probably doesn't care.
Step 7. Ask her for her number before you leave
Don't waste a great conversation with a girl you'll never see again! Take heart, ask for her phone number and let her make the first move if she feels like it.
- Tell her, "I have to go now, but I'd like to talk to you again. Can I have your number?"
- Or, "I'd like to see you again. Can I have your number?" Then give her your number and let things happen by themselves.
Part 3 of 3: Using Messages and Dating Apps
Step 1. Send her a message asking for advice
It's a good excuse to text someone you don't know well. The advice could be any one: which course to take, where is the best ice cream shop in town, which book you should read.
- Flirt with her and add a compliment. "I don't know what course to take next semester and you are the smartest girl I know. Do you have any suggestions?"
- Use a joking tone by pretending it's urgent, "I need urgent help - what's the best ice cream shop in town?"
Step 2. Ask her for a suggestion
Even if you don't know this girl, it's pretty easy to think that she likes listening to music, or that she watches TV or reads books. You can tell her you've just finished a TV show or are looking for new songs to listen to.
Send her a message like, "I just finished" Derry Girls ". It's great! Do you have any suggestions on a series that can fill the void she left in my heart?"
Step 3. Send her a "I thought of you" message
It's a very sweet thing that will show her that she is on your mind, even if you don't know her very well. If you have a crush on a girl in your class, this is a good tip for sending her an unexpected message.
- Text her with "I was listening to the Les Misérables soundtrack and I remembered how good you were in this spring musical. How are you?"
- Talk about something you have in common. For example, "I met Prof. Trevor at the supermarket. LOL, what an embarrassment. I don't know how I could survive his classes without your comments."
Step 4. Ask a girl in your class to study together
If you've just had a cute girl's number in your class or text her on social media, asking her to study together is a perfect excuse to meet. If you want to spice things up, use the word "date".
- Message, "I can't believe how many homework Prof L has given us… are we going to meet to do them together this afternoon?"
- Or make her feel important by sending her a message, "I'm struggling on this biology test. Can you save me?"
Step 5. Refer to the girl's bio when texting her on a dating app
When you need to text a girl who is compatible on an app the first time, don't just say "Hi" or that she's cute. Show her you've read her bio by mentioning one of the things she wrote.
- For example, if she wrote in her bio that she likes watching Friends, you might say, "Who are you more like Rachel, Phoebe or Monica?" If she says she likes to read, ask her what is the best book she's read recently.
- Your message can also be a bit joking and self-deprecating. For example, if she says she likes karaoke, you could write, "I see you're a karaoke star. If someone is out of tune like a bell, is that critical to you? I'm asking for a friend;)"
- If she didn't write anything specific in the bio, ask her a question about one of her photographs. For example, "That place is wonderful! Where is it?"
Step 6. Ask for an appointment after some chatting through the app
Remember, the purpose of a dating app isn't to talk forever virtual, but to decide when to meet in person. So, if you've been on friendly terms for a while, come in and ask her out. You will never know if you will get along until you have met in person.
- Be clear, direct, and suggest a plan. Tell her, "Can I take you for coffee this week? There's a new bar on Via Teresa with some spatial pastries."
- Or say, "I'd love to continue this conversation in person. How about a drink at Benni's this Friday?"
- If she can't, ask her when she is free.
